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MASS EFFECT 3: The Mass Erectest

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  • I shall spoiler tag for those that get upset over the tiniest spoilers.

      Spoiler: non-spoiler spoilers 
    Well beyond my previous post concerning my issues with the game, the ending is just nonsense. Up to the endgame you have to make a lot of decisions on who to help, and who you want joining the war against the Reapers. You would think that everyone would want to help prevent the end of all organic life but haters gonna hate. For example, one choice I made led to the race that didn't agree being COMPLETELY WIPED OUT, even though it gave no indication that would happen.

    So, your decisions matter, and with the weight behind them you really expect that in the final moments what happens will totally reflect who you brought with you. In actuality it doesn't matter at all. All you need to do is fill up your war assets bar and who you pick doesn't matter at all, except for a quick check in during the initial attack from each of the "optional" races that joined your fight.

    And then in the final moments absolutely none of the choices you've made matter. You're told by an abysmal MacGuffin that you have to make one of a couple choices, but they don't really matter. They end the same way. Sure, your character makes a choice on if he wants A or B, but it doesn't affect anything. You get the same resolution and it isn't fulfilling at all. Nothing you did leading to that moment happens. They effectively reset the whole fucking universe. But again, a game predicated on so much choice/consequence, then none of those choices or consequences matter.

    And in the final moment of bullshittery there is a post credit sequence of a guy walking with his kid in the forest telling the story of the "legend of Shepard" and it's a pretty cool moment. Very serene, dare I say artistic then the kid says "tell me another legend about Shepard!" and the dad or grandpa says "So many stories have been lost in time about Shepard, I don't think I know any others"

    Then a big ass box pops up and says LOOK FORWARD TO MORE DLC TO SEE THE MISSING LEGENDS OF SHEPARD or something close to that but it's super fucking cheesy and ruins what was a pretty cool coda on how despite the selection of choices might have disappointed, it showed that Shepard went down in history as a savior and people remember him for all he did.

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    • But did he come or not?



      That sorta rustles my jimmies, Bill. Jimmies have been sorta (Big Money) rustled.
      Me quick one want slow

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      • appreciated man.
        "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

        "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

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        • Fuck it, I'm ordering it anyway. I assuredly will be bitching and moaning too.
          Me quick one want slow

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          • I think anyone invested in Mass Effect should absolutely play it. It's still a good, bordering on very good, game with some really outstanding moments of storytelling. But they fumbled the ball a couple times along the way.

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            • Considering how much time I've put into the first two games, unless they really fuck up, like BAD, I'm sure I'll be fine with how it plays out.
              "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

              "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

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              • Well finish it this weekend, and please return to my two spoiler posts. I want you guys to hurry up so we can talk about the HUGE fucking moment that will impact future games (come on, they aren't letting this franchise go quiet) that they treat like "oh and this too, I guess."

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                • I can't believe you've already finished it to be honest. How many hours did you put into it?
                  "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

                  "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

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                  • 27 hours, and it was damn near 100%. Almost all of the reaper areas I got 100% of the resources, and the few I didn't get didn't matter because I had already filled my war efforts bar to max. Why go do that tedious scanning then? Jeff Gerstmann said last week that he told a Bioware employee he had 30 hours in, and felt like he missed a lot of stuff and was told "no 30 hours is plenty for a 100% run."

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                    • I want to write something to post up BDR, but I might wait another week for more people to finish. If anything I'll put on my tumblr then BDR later.

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                      • Originally posted by Theodore Stabbington View Post
                        Considering how much time I've put into the first two games, unless they really fuck up, like BAD, I'm sure I'll be fine with how it plays out.
                        The ending where a clown car of Volus come to your house and rape you was a little too meta for my tastes.
                        Me quick one want slow

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                        • "Smug satisfaction. This will hurt you more than me, Rob." - Elcor ending

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                          • Those spaceelephants stole HK's schtick.
                            Me quick one want slow

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                            • Originally posted by BillyG View Post
                              I shall spoiler tag for those that get upset over the tiniest spoilers.

                                Spoiler: non-spoiler spoilers 
                              Then a big ass box pops up and says LOOK FORWARD TO MORE DLC TO SEE THE MISSING LEGENDS OF SHEPARD or something close to that but it's super fucking cheesy and ruins what was a pretty cool coda on how despite the selection of choices might have disappointed, it showed that Shepard went down in history as a savior and people remember him for all he did.
                                Spoiler: More ending spoilers 
                              See, I never got that box you're talking about. After the Stargazer ending, it put me back before the point of no return to maybe mop up anything I'd missed.

                              Then again, I took the SPACE JESUS (third option) ending, so maybe that had something to do with it.
                              sigpic
                              360: JohnnyChopsocky PSN: Stud_Beefpile

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                              • Hey guys, I heard.......
                                  Spoiler: Look in here.... 
                                  Spoiler: To get to here 
                                  Spoiler: So you can get to this one...... 
                                  Spoiler: which will reveal...... 
                                  Spoiler: The secret ending to........ 
                                  Spoiler: Mass effect 3 
                                "Fuck Rob. Also, he has a podcast called Podcaust. Edgy Holocaust humor lulz indeed." - The Faraci

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