What Emmanuelle Movie Did You Just Watch?

[Anderson]

'Bad Teacher'. We had 5 hours to kill in Willmar and I couldn't talk the wife unit into seeing TF3, so we agreed on this. Not bad, but not great. It was more of a 'smile and enjoy the antics' kind of film than a 'laugh out loud' riot. Cameron was decent, but the real star of the film is Lucy Punch as her nemesis. This should open up a few more doors for her.

She's going to be Deena in "Powers" for FX. Bendis be damned.

[BillyG]

I meant the finger shot - don't think I saw a transplant scene. Damn. Does it suggest there may be a Crank 3 (in Space?)?

God I hope so Ben. Snag the DVD when you can, about 30 seconds into the credits it shows Dwight giving him his heart back but Chev dies....UNTIL HE DOESNT DUN DUN DUUUUUN


Also lolspoilertown

[Nathan]

DROPPING LOADS ALL OVER YOUR WAGES!

[Ben Thomas]

While we're on the Stath, just watched The Mechanic (largely on Matt's semi-raves). Very nice. More violent than I expected and the final 30-40 minutes are pretty tight. I loved the smackdown in Gay Hitman's apartment too - the shot of Foster going all the way through the shelves as they fall was a nice touch, as well as the fire poker moment. A very enjoyable 90 minutes. My only gripe:

  Spoiler: 'twist' revealed 

When Foster blew up the car with Stath in it, that was all fine - it was obvious that Stath got away. But I kinda wish when he let him know he was still alive (the note in his car, just before it explodes) Stath hadn't killed Foster's character. A sequel with them going after each other, Assassins style (only gooder) could have been good.

[Bobby Bear]

Ben, I laughed so hard at 'twist' up above. And speaking of Gretchen Mol, I thought she was pretty good in The Ten as well. Granted, that's quite a small role, but still a big improvement on Rounders nonetheless.

[Ben Thomas]

One other thing that's interesting in The Mechanic - when Stath calls about the Sutherland job early on, the receptionist that picks up answers 'Cobol Engineering'. Its a very quick bit of telephone dialogue that's largely hidden by occurring on an edit, but... does this mean that the film takes place in the same world as Inception? Cos that's fucking awesome if so. Or is there some conspiracy that I don't know about?

I'm watching Speed Racer on blu on my new HDTV now - say what you want about the film (actually, don't - we've done it), but its the most incredible HD transfer I've seen. Absolutely breathtaking.

[Captain Russ]

It was violence night last night over at the fuckshack.

First up was Valhalla Rising, a beautiful and stark mood piece on religion and violence and their shared elevation and destruction of the spirit. The gorgeous photography and Mads' silent yet charismatic performance must be seen to be believed.

And then there was Bonnie and Clyde, which romanticizes the eponymous couple through modern myth building (to the exclusion of historical accuracy), while creating an incredible (even for today's standards) tapestry of violence that has unfortunately given birth to turgid shit and awful imitators for decades. It remains an amazing film, with fantastic performances by Beatty and Dunaway, beautifully rugged cinematography, and editing right out of the French New Wave. A fascinating product of its time. I can't believe Estelle Parsons won an Oscar for being a shrill caricature disguised as a person. Oh wait, yes I fucking can.

And the first episode of Assayas' Carlos miniseries was on. Ramirez is brilliant as the famewhore title character.

[B_Metal]

Yeah I dug the photography and the lead from Valhalla rising but it felt a bit flat in some parts and I'm not sure if it was how the narrative was structured that got me or what. May have to rewatch that one.

The Lincoln Lawyer -- not the greatest movie ever but damned entertaining and probably the best work I've seen McConaheyheyhey put in. I'd see a sequel to it for sure. And I'd recommend it to anyone who hasn't seen it yet.

[Captain Russ]

The fact that it isn't a traditional narrative and offers little to no explanation to the viewer certainly does it no favors in keeping the majority from casting all of it aside as an exercise in pretention, or at least that is what I extrapolated from some reviews.

I can see where they are frustrated by the glacial pace and lack of dialogue dependency, but I can not bring myself to agree there is nothing there.

[Matt]

The Lincoln Lawyer -- not the greatest movie ever but damned entertaining and probably the best work I've seen McConaheyheyhey put in. I'd see a sequel to it for sure. And I'd recommend it to anyone who hasn't seen it yet.

I love how WOM has spread on this film. If you check BoxOfficeMojo, you'll see that it's quietly remained in the top 20 earning bank for many, many weeks. I know a ton of people that have seen it and they all love it, so hopefully we'll see a franchise actually start for MM.

[B_Metal]

The fact that it isn't a traditional narrative and offers little to no explanation to the viewer certainly does it no favors in keeping the majority from casting all of it aside as an exercise in pretention, or at least that is what I extrapolated from some reviews.

I can see where they are frustrated by the glacial pace and lack of dialogue dependency, but I can not bring myself to agree there is nothing there.

Oh no doubt there's some heavy shit there, and I actually enjoy the film, there are just moments where it feels like more work than a film should be for me.

I love how WOM has spread on this film. If you check BoxOfficeMojo, you'll see that it's quietly remained in the top 20 earning bank for many, many weeks. I know a ton of people that have seen it and they all love it, so hopefully we'll see a franchise actually start for MM.

Agreed.

[Captain Russ]

I interpretted it as having to do with a nature versus man struggle from the outset, and beyond that simple conflict which is certainly explored, I saw that extensions of this conflict could be applied to much of the film.

Taking a look at One Eye, one sees an extension of nature. There is no answer given to the questions asked of him, no reasoning with him, and no defeating him. He simply is. Adding to this, he is obviously also a pagan, and is tied to the old ways and is reverent of nature and those that adhere to it (which is why the boy lives). Even his pagan captors do wrong by him in the previously mentioned way by being hubristic enough to think they can keep him shackled and obedient. Because of this, they pay the price of their arrogance.

The same with the Christian crusaders that appear later. They too share a hubris in the form of religious fanaticism; remarking with how they will arrive in the holy lands, the ease with which they will conquer, and through force, convert the "heathen" to their ways. They set sail with these lofty ideas. Then the winds die and the fog (nature) comes to test them.

As starvation takes hold of them, their piety disappears and is replaced with superstition and irrational fear, and they blame One Eye and the child for their predicament (which ultimately leads to one of their men being killed). They failed the test.

After this, when they arrive in what is obviously not Jerusalem, their desperation coupled with their fanaticism lead them inland, where they hope to STILL conquer and convert whatever and whoever they find.

Obviously, they will continue on this fool's errand and be undone by their lack of understanding (fear and superstition) and their attempts to control forces beyond them.

At least that's how I saw it. It could be me just trying to put something together that may not be there, but it is not for lack of trying.

[Captain Russ]

Horror Night at Ye Olde Fornication Station.

Black Death.

Sean Bean and an absolutely shit actor from Pillars of Earth star in this medieval horror tale. Bean is Elric, a knight in service of the church, who is tasked with the mission to rid the land of the pestilence. He takes shit actor with him and they attempt to find the root of the evil blight, which it is rumored is a witch.

It begins in a rather typical fashion, but takes an extremely dark turn in the last half of the film. Somehow, they ended up giving shit actor a decent arc and Bean a fantastic last line.

Surprisingly good despite the shit actor.

Let Me In.

No real reason as to why this exists nor why I saw it. The kids were good, though McPhee has the face of the all-seeing, all-knowing god of DERP.

Niggling bits include: kids jamming to "Breakup Song" and CG bullshit vampire kid.

It was yet another case of a remake not fully distinguishing itself from its progenitor.

[B_Metal]

I interpretted it as having to do with a nature versus man struggle from the outset, and beyond that simple conflict which is certainly explored, I saw that extensions of this conflict could be applied to much of the film.

Taking a look at One Eye, one sees an extension of nature. There is no answer given to the questions asked of him, no reasoning with him, and no defeating him. He simply is. Adding to this, he is obviously also a pagan, and is tied to the old ways and is reverent of nature and those that adhere to it (which is why the boy lives). Even his pagan captors do wrong by him in the previously mentioned way by being hubristic enough to think they can keep him shackled and obedient. Because of this, they pay the price of their arrogance.

The same with the Christian crusaders that appear later. They too share a hubris in the form of religious fanaticism; remarking with how they will arrive in the holy lands, the ease with which they will conquer, and through force, convert the "heathen" to their ways. They set sail with these lofty ideas. Then the winds die and the fog (nature) comes to test them.

As starvation takes hold of them, their piety disappears and is replaced with superstition and irrational fear, and they blame One Eye and the child for their predicament (which ultimately leads to one of their men being killed). They failed the test.

After this, when they arrive in what is obviously not Jerusalem, their desperation coupled with their fanaticism lead them inland, where they hope to STILL conquer and convert whatever and whoever they find.

Obviously, they will continue on this fool's errand and be undone by their lack of understanding (fear and superstition) and their attempts to control forces beyond them.

At least that's how I saw it. It could be me just trying to put something together that may not be there, but it is not for lack of trying.

I would say that you've pretty much nailed it right on the fucking nose. And honestly on further reflection I think the only issue I had was that I watched this halfway tired and the long stretches of no dialog had an effect on my already tired ass. I'll need to watch this again during the light of day when I can take those stretches for what they are instead of fighting sleep.

And Russ, all bullshit to the side, you should be reviewing films and getting paid for it. Assuming you don't already and I'm just clueless to it.

[Captain Russ]

Thanks buddy, I just do it for fun.

Some of the more meditative films like this are the BFF of sleep, so it is recommended to be alert and in that perfect "sponge" mode, ready to soak everything in. I'm sure we've all been in the dose position before.

Also, regarding Black Death: Bean's character name is not Elrich but Ulrich. I just hate Lars that much as to mishear the name.