Mad Mel

[Lisa]

And as far as that "but I loooooooove him" shit? It's 2010 you ladies need to fucking sack up and handle yourselves like adults and not love dolls who must stay with an asshole who beats them.

Wow. I'm not even going to dignify that with a fucking response.

Or maybe I will. Maybe I'll just say that you clearly don't understand women AT ALL - and I don't give a shit that you're married - nor do you understand that all women are not alike.

[B_Metal]

Lisa, I love you as a pal and all but I'd think less of you if you let George wail on you and went back to him time and time again.

I just don't understand that mind set. Sorry that apparently offends you. And I love that just because I've upset you I'm now apparently mildly retarded when it comes to understanding women even though my professional life in the last three years I'm basically the only guy at my job and I've NEVER had any issues with my female co-workers, matter of fact and with no embellishment tears were shed when I left CPS.

And in my personal life I'm happily married and my wife will tell you I'm a pretty damn good husband and I'd never dream of yelling at her/ hitting her.

Explain to me what is so offensive about wishing women would leave the first time someone is violent. Every study ever done says those situations only get worse and yet women still stay. I mean this with all sincerity and with no ill will. Tell me why a woman would put up with that shit.

Also I'd appreciate if you could keep the insults to a minimum as I've been nothing but respectful to you in all regards.

[Shit Dickface]

Lisa, I love you as a pal and all but I'd think less of you if you let George wail on you and went back to him time and time again.

I just don't understand that mind set. Sorry that apparently offends you. And I love that just because I've upset you I'm now apparently mildly retarded when it comes to understanding women even though my professional life in the last three years I'm basically the only guy at my job and I've NEVER had any issues with my female co-workers, matter of fact and with no embellishment tears were shed when I left CPS.

And in my personal life I'm happily married and my wife will tell you I'm a pretty damn good husband and I'd never dream of yelling at her/ hitting her.

Explain to me what is so offensive about wishing women would leave the first time someone is violent. Every study ever done says those situations only get worse and yet women still stay. I mean this with all sincerity and with no ill will. Tell me why a woman would put up with that shit.

Also I'd appreciate if you could keep the insults to a minimum as I've been nothing but respectful to you in all regards.

I agree with you on wishing women could leave, but you also have to remember that guys can be manipulative as fuck and have force on their side - definitely more force than a woman. I'm glad I'm not mentally imbalanced, because if I was I'd be formidable as shit to a woman that I wanted to intimidate - and there are plenty of dudes my size/bigger than me that might not be in the same mental stead.

Add onto that the potential for emotional abuse/codependence/etc., and it can be a smorgasbord of dysfunctional bullshit that is sometimes neither party's fault and both of their fault. But at the same time, women are constantly coerced and beaten and might not have the resources or the wherewithal or the self-respect to get out of a situation. It can't just be wished upon them, and it's hard to make sane decisions when it comes to someone with whom you have a connection, whether said connection is real or just an illusion at this point. It's why I kept going back to a toxic relationship, and I'm a fucking guy.

But one thing that should absolutely not be done is putting the onus even remotely near women, who have had to deal with a culture of oppression and abuse since the beginning of time just based on the fact that they were either considered a hole, a childbearer, or a domestic servant, and sometimes if they were lucky they got all three! The situation never has been and never will be as simple as "just leave", just as it's not simple with a lot of things. I consider you a pretty open-minded dude, considering Texas and all, so I hope some of this washes with you. I'm not going to beat you over the head with it and I absolutely don't mean to be condescending, but at the same time it's an issue that should absolutely be carefully considered and not boiled down to black and white, as are many issues that we deal with and discuss on these boards damn near every day.

Give the ladies a little more credit. They might be empowered and can vote and shit, but that doesn't mean that the deck still isn't stacked against them. It's just more insidious and probably a helluva lot harder to deal with on an individual level. S'all I'm sayin'!

[gravedigger]

Uh, women be shoppin'. Amirite, guys?

[Lisa]

Oh, really, Josh, you want ME to keep the insults to a minimum, after you called women who've been beaten and don't know how to get out of it "Love dolls" who need to "sack up"? Don't you dare sit there and insult women who need help and then try to turn it around on the women. I never once said it was okay for them to stay, or that they were right for staying, or that I found it "offensive" that you'd suggest they leave. So quit putting words in my mouth.

No, not for one second would I stay with a guy who ever hit me, so let's leave my relationship out of this. But there are women out there who don't feel they "must stay" with a guy who beats them - they don't know how to get out of it. No one's saying it's okay for them to do so - those of us who know better wish they'd get out of it. But you just seem to think it's such a piece of cake for them to walk away that you have to stoop to insults and "tough love" when talking about them. Well, guess what? Not all women have it that easy. Not all women have the self-esteem to walk away, and not all women have the financial resources to do so or have family or friends they can go to. Some women who are getting the shit knocked out of them are STUCK.

I know a woman on another board I used to post at who finally left her abusive husband after encouragement from all of us. And guess what happened? She took her kids, went to a shelter/halfway house, and they fucking turned her away because she wasn't beaten badly enough. She wound up living as long as she could at a hotel with her two kids before she ran out of money and went back to this abusive asshole because she simply had no alternatives and had no where to go. And things are unfortunately status quo for her right now, till he possibly kills her one day.

You don't understand the mindset because it's not ever going to happen to you - that's why you can sit there and be so casual about it and call them these insulting names.

EDIT: What Jake said, obviously more calmly and succinctly than I did. But what I said stands.

[Captain Russ]

Uh, women be shoppin'. Amirite, guys?

MMHMMM

AH HUUUURD THAT

/half-assed icebreakin'

I'm glad I'm not mentally imbalanced, because if I was I'd be formidable as shit to a woman that I wanted to intimidate

Why whittle it down to the opposite sex? Thank Christmas Cake you are on an even keel.

They'd just spray paint you green and give the fucking CG bullshit a rest if it weren't so.

[Shit Dickface]

And I'm absolutely not trying to spotlight you or guilt you into anything and I'm not trying to fuck with you at all, so don't take offense. You're a good dude and one of my bros, but I'm going to tell you that as a fellow guy (especially a Texas boy, we can't be that stereotypical wife-beating trailer-dwelling asshole, lawl) we gotta keep this shit in check, not just for our mothers/wives/girlfriends/sisters/cousins, but also for our daughters. At least that's the way I put it into perspective. "Would I fucking jerk off to the dying breath of some shithead who treated my (imaginary or real) daughter this way? Absolutely? Okay, I'm not going to do/support that."

[Howard]

*backs out of thread very slowly and softly whilst looking down*

Also Jake. RAGE on the internet all you want but we here know what you are in real life. A big ole pussycat.

[Captain Russ]

I'm still buttered no one enjoyed the kitten posters...

[Shit Dickface]

Ain't raging at all, just trying to be real.

[Howard]

I didn't mean here, I meant your various RAGE updates on Facebook (the ones Lisa never sees). The point remains. Jake=big ole pussycat, despite the touch exterior he tries so hard to show.

[Shit Dickface]

Ha. Gotcha.

[B_Metal]

Oh, really, Josh, you want ME to keep the insults to a minimum, after you called women who've been beaten and don't know how to get out of it "Love dolls" who need to "sack up"?

Yeah, I may have had a bad choice of words but it wasn't meant as an insult. And honestly you should know me better by now but I guess not.

Don't you dare sit there and insult women who need help and then try to turn it around on the women. I never once said it was okay for them to stay, or that they were right for staying, or that I found it "offensive" that you'd suggest they leave. So quit putting words in my mouth.

I never insulted any woman. I questioned why in a time where information is literally a keyboard away, do some women stay. And seriously I don't think I'm any more guilty of putting words into your mouth than you are of putting them into mine.

No, not for one second would I stay with a guy who ever hit me, so let's leave my relationship out of this.

You brought my marriage into, so I'd say your relationship was fair game especially when it was purely hypothetical.

But there are women out there who don't feel they "must stay" with a guy who beats them - they don't know how to get out of it. No one's saying it's okay for them to do so - those of us who know better wish they'd get out of it. But you just seem to think it's such a piece of cake for them to walk away that you have to stoop to insults and "tough love" when talking about them.

I never said it was easy thus my use of the term "sack up." Dislike it if you will but what I meant was basically get tough and find a way. Maybe that's simple talk but again I put it to you that I just don't get the mindset but feel free to attack me more.

Well, guess what? Not all women have it that easy. Not all women have the self-esteem to walk away, and not all women have the financial resources to do so or have family or friends they can go to. Some women who are getting the shit knocked out of them are STUCK.

Lisa, believe it or not, I've done volunteer work for our local battered women/family shelter. I'm guessing you either won't believe it or you'll belittle me as having not learned anything from it as you seem really taking this as a personal affront when it's not.

I know a woman on another board I used to post at who finally left her abusive husband after encouragement from all of us. And guess what happened? She took her kids, went to a shelter/halfway house, and they fucking turned her away because she wasn't beaten badly enough.

Well honestly that shelter should be reported to whomever is overseeing it. That's not how things were handled at our local.

She wound up living as long as she could at a hotel with her two kids before she ran out of money and went back to this abusive asshole because she simply had no alternatives and had no where to go. And things are unfortunately status quo for her right now, till he possibly kills her one day.

You don't understand the mindset because it's not ever going to happen to you - that's why you can sit there and be so casual about it and call them these insulting names.

I will apologize for a poor choice of words but there was no intent to insult battered women and I think you know that. And if you don't then nothing I say will make a difference.

What I will say is that yes it's hard for a woman to get out of that situation. I will also say to give in and go back to await an eventual death is not the right thing to do. I refuse to believe that. I also refuse to apologize for thinking a woman should protect herself.

/topic for me as I see it's headed nowhere fast.

[Lisa]

Fine.

[Abraham Smashington]

What the fuck happened to this thread? In order to get things back on track...