Shitty Films You've Seen in Theaters

[Martin]

Seeing Avatar in 2D: FAIL.

[Howard]

Confession. I still haven't seen Avatar.

[V]

Confession. I still haven't seen Avatar.

Nor have I... but the home release is just weeks away, yes?

[Abraham Smashington]

Fail you guys. It's all about the 3d for this one.

[Lisa]

Oh, a thread for me to rant some more about "Something's Gotta Give"? Okay, thanks!

1. "Something's Gotta Give" - may as well start with the mack-daddy. HATE! HAAAATE! White hot, searing hate! The irony? I went to see this three days after my brother's funeral in an effort to get out of the house and see a funny movie. The reality? The movie was about as fun as most funerals I've been to, so there's that in common.

2. "Murder at 1600" - Total running time, 107 minutes. Alternate name for the movie - "The 100 Minute Nap."

3. "Beaches" - After you've already been sitting there for HOURS, Barbara Hershey finally dies. My date and I grab our coats, like "FINALLY!" But no! It's not over yet! Not by a long shot! We still have the funeral scene! We still have "Wind Beneath My Wings"! We still have the scene where Bette Midler tearfully tells Barbara Hershey's little daughter that she AND her cat can come live with her! We still have the scene where the little girl (sans cat!) goes to see Bette's concert, and realizes what a wonderful surrogate mom Bette will be. And the final scene, Bette telling the little girl all about how she and her mom became friends way back when they were little girls. All that AFTER the death of one of the two main characters. When we grabbed our coats and then realized the film wasn't nearly done yet, my date yelled out, "Jesus CHRIST, when is this movie gonna be over?"

[patronsaintofcheeseburgers]

4/22

[Howard]

*shrugs* I have no idea. Nothing I have seen or read has raised my interest level enough to even watch the film. I am the anti-Cameron.

[nerdious dorkus]

I still want to know why Avatar was such a shitty film. It was entertaining but was it your expectations that made it "so shitty that I CAN'T BELIEVE I WASTED MONEY IN THE THEATER!" also, you didn't even see it in 3d right Nerdious?

Yah, but I can barely get into the 3D. When I saw the 25 minute clip at SDCC, it didn't notice the extra dimensions AT ALL. I should not be bombarded with gimmicks to enjoy the film. The writing/dialogue/plot and cinematography are the only things I'm concerned about.

[V]

"Beaches" - After you've already been sitting there for HOURS, Barbara Hershey finally dies. My date and I grab our coats, like "FINALLY!" But no! It's not over yet! Not by a long shot! We still have the funeral scene! We still have "Wind Beneath My Wings"! We still have the scene where Bette Midler tearfully tells Barbara Hershey's little daughter that she AND her cat can come live with her! We still have the scene where the little girl (sans cat!) goes to see Bette's concert, and realizes what a wonderful surrogate mom Bette will be. And the final scene, Bette telling the little girl all about how she and her mom became friends way back when they were little girls. All that AFTER the death of one of the two main characters. When we grabbed our coats and then realize the film wasn't nearly done yet, my date yelled out, "Jesus CHRIST, when is this movie gonna be over?"

BRA-FUCKING-VO!

You must spread some rep...yadda yadda.

[Ed Hocken]

But Murder at 1600 features Alan Alda getting shot, that's at least something.

[Martin]

Yah, but I can barely get into the 3D. When I saw the 25 minute clip at SDCC, it didn't notice the extra dimensions AT ALL. I should not be bombarded with gimmicks to enjoy the film. The writing/dialogue/plot and cinematography are the only things I'm concerned about.

And the story is bad/average, but the rest is fucking great. It's a spectacle.

[Matt]

I didn't hate 'Something's Gotta Give' to the degree that Lisa hated it, but yeah...I want that time and money back.

[Matt]

Vin's avatar is going to send me into a psychotic rage.

[Shit Dickface]

BRA-FUCKING-VO!

You must spread some rep...yadda yadda.

Covered. Jesus, I hate Beaches. I dated a girl in high school who adored it and watched it every fucking weekend. It was maddening. Try dry-humping and groping some girl who's too wrapped up in that piece of shit to care.

[V]

Vin's avatar is going to send me into a psychotic rage.

YAY!