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I'm just against it because I think it's hilarious and silly. I think the FX look amazing, but I actually LOL'd at the shot of the brooding gorilla standing over the bed like an axe murderer, and all of the gorillas pouring out onto the streets and shit. I'm sorry, yes, apes can fuck up some shit, but any major city in America has enough guns and ammo to put down that ape uprising. The whole premise is just super silly to me. I'm not afraid of apes. And the fucking Apes Will Rise tagline/website, jesus christ.
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Cut to Billy being raped by a pack of apes.
"WHY IS NO ONE SHOOTING THESE APES?!?!""Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG
"Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - AndersonComment
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Billy:
he doesn't afraid of anything.Me quick one want slowComment
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Billy: APE KILLER"Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG
"Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - AndersonComment
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Billy
in
RAPE
APE
ESCAPE
(with fifteen minutes of bonus Leonard Part 6 footage!)Me quick one want slowComment
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Billy in NO RAPE FOR THE APES"Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG
"Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - AndersonComment
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'Apes defeating humanity' is almost as ridiculous as 'Ewoks defeating the Empire'.Originally posted by MartinOriginally posted by gravediggerOriginally posted by MartinComment
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BUT THEY ARE SUPER SMART MATT. AND THEY CAN FLING THEIR POOP."Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG
"Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - AndersonComment
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People would start voting ape.
New election for the city comptroller?
The fuckin' Ape Party in a walk.Me quick one want slowComment
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VOTE CHIMPY FOR SANITATION MANAGER!"Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG
"Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - AndersonComment
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The sequel will have guest appearances by Grape Ape, George The Animal Steel, The Osmonds, and Amy from Congo.
It will be the worst thing to happen since Mighty Joe Young went Fatty Arbuckle on Jessica Harper at Tom Rothman's 51st birthday.
(Chimpy is the Mayor Goldie Wilson of Sanitation Managers)Last edited by Captain Russ; 04-14-2011, 09:18 AM.Me quick one want slowComment
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The epilogue:
- We quelled the ape uprising, Mr President.
- My God, the waste. What are our losses?
- Um, none. They really had no defense against our blackhawks. For the hell of it, I timed the entire war on my stopwatch...it took 3 minutes, 43 seconds from start to finish. We have to clean some poo off of some of our soldiers, but that's pretty much it.
- Great! Good job, general Ross! Gin and Tonics all around!Originally posted by MartinOriginally posted by gravediggerOriginally posted by MartinComment
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Hence my original question of if these apes are going to be able to use human weapons and stuff like in the original flicks. Nobody wants Billy to be a victim of Ape Rape.
Otherwise, yeah, no apes with military hardware, gonna be a real short battle. I do want to see gorillas taking over tanks, flying helicopters, using flamethrowers and fuckbots, etc.Comment
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Hey...if an Ewok can drive a fucking speederbike without becoming tree pizza, then I want to see a chimp fly a blackhawk and strafe some soldiers.Originally posted by MartinOriginally posted by gravediggerOriginally posted by MartinComment
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Exactly, Matt. Then the flick will be cruising at ludicrous speed! Or shit, start the movie like Cloverfield with the stuff already happening with super-intelligent apes going berserk from the get go and opening up cans of whoop-ass with news reporters giving the audience live feeds and shit.Comment
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