DARK SOULS: A Masochist's Love Letter

[BillyG]

Well, like in the garden near the locked with a blinding white door, there was a note "beware illusory wall" and I did try to hit it but nothing happened. Maybe I didn't hit the right place.

[Captain Russ]

Hurm...illusory wall in the garden? What garden are you referring to? The one in the parish or the one in the lower burg or what? I don't even recall a wall around there, just some poor bastard that is still locked in his hovel.

Whenever I see some odd dead end that doesn't fit with the scheme, I thwack the shit out of it just in case. Especially after finding there is an entire world inside the old dead tree at the bottom of Blight Town. I ain't fallin' for that shit anymore.

[BillyG]

It's the garden past the mini-boss next to the blacksmith, with the goofy trees. I asked my buddy, he said there is a bonfire inside of the wall.

Did you get Ornstein's soul to make that ridiculous spear?

[Captain Russ]

Oh there? I believe the one you are referring to only opens up once you unlock the sealed door next to it.

Haven't fought those two yet, but when I do, I will laugh and laugh and laugh, as they will be crushed upon the heel of my boot.

[BillyG]

Well, make sure to kill fatty first. If you kill Ornstein first, you will get the fat dude's soul instead and his weapon is shit on a stick.

[BillyG]

Capra demon got his shit pushed in on the first attempt. The Depths and the gaping dragon? Got face fucked royally. Even got the crazy 2H axe that requires 50str I will never get to wield. Headed to blight town and said fuck this, basin time. Found an ember as well, and the blacksmith asked for it. Declined for now, not sure when I should supply it.

[Captain Russ]

Well, make sure to kill fatty first. If you kill Ornstein first, you will get the fat dude's soul instead and his weapon is shit on a stick.

Yeah, well this is turning into a fucking nightmare. Lemme know how that works for ya when you get to 'em. Ornstein is an epic troll.

[Captain Russ]

Killed him, upgraded a spear to +10, and I can't fucking make it.

Also, somehow I can't connect to Live now. This is some megabullshittery.

[Captain Russ]

I am an angar man right now. If only the Jehova's Witnesses went around soliciting their insane bullshit on Thursdays.

[Captain Russ]

That was the strangest damned thing. XBL must be drunk or something.

[Captain Russ]

Forgot the fact that the different smiths work on different materials, so I went and masde the Dragonbro spear at that giant bullshit smith, and lo and behold, I don't meet the DEX requirement.

Eat all the dicks, smith.

[BillyG]

Is't it like 24str 20 dex?

[Captain Russ]

24/24 split

[Captain Russ]

That was the strangest damned thing. XBL must be drunk or something.

Or some chinaman wanted my milkshake

[Captain Russ]

Yep. Dun goof'd there Chairman Mao.