The Curious Case of Abraham Smashington: A make your own adventure story.

[Abraham Smashington]

Ok, we are going to try this. This is a test

Basically what happens is, I will start off the story and give four choices of what happens next at the end of my bit. They will be called A), B), C), and D).

The first person to reply with a selection then continues the story (if you end up replying but someone else did it first, please edit your post to go along with the first person's), giving a selection at the end.

[Try to make this fun by adding in forum names along the way.]

_*****I have attached a Word Doc at the end of the thread that puts the entire story together in one coherent piece...__________________________________________ ___________

"The Curious Case of Abraham Smashington"

The alarm is getting louder now. As you slowly wake up you find yourself tied to a chair and can see flames all around you. You can taste blood, and it's not tasty (if only you had those flavor tripping berries). You notice a small countdown timer to the right of where you are sitting. It reads 2 minutes and is counting down.

Do you:
A) Start to panic, pee your pants then sob uncontrollably...
B) Assess the situation and notice a small piece of broken glass on the ground.
C) Start to think of the time you totally scored with those 3 Swedish models (it was totally awesome and dirty)
D) Start praying to Jeebus, Superman and Rupert Murdoch.

[Ari]

D)

Ok, as you sit in the chair, flames getting closer and closer, you close your eyes and began to pray to your favorite superheros; Jeebus, Superman, and Rupert Murdoch. When you open your eyes, you see the countdown timer says 1:15. But someone is standing next to the timer now. The light of the fire reveals to you a little man, no taller than 3 feet standing by the timer. "Ello!", the little man says to you in a very english accent. "Ma name is Jeebus. I just heard ya call ma name. Ya need a hand there buddy?

Do you:
A) Scream like a bitch
B) Say, "Jeebus, help me!"
C) Tell him to jump into the fire
D) Laugh at him till he slaps you

[Abraham Smashington]

B)

You ask Jeebus to save you, but in a flash he's gone. The timer hits the one minute mark. You nervously start to laugh in the face of impending doom when all of a sudden you feel a whoosh of air and see blackness. You wake up a few hours later and realize you are in a pub. Jeebus is sitting next to you and by the looks of it is quite drunk. Do you

A) Ask what in the fuck is going on?
B) Order a nice pint of beer
C) Ask for some crisps
D) Pull out your baton (that was hidden in your trousers) and smack Jeebus on the face

[patronsaintofcheeseburgers]

I choose B

[Abraham Smashington]

Ok hmms...maybe we'll have to try this again. Instead of writing your own, You pick the answer. First answer to be posted gets to write. That way we don't have pileups

[patronsaintofcheeseburgers]

You order a pint of beer, Guiness of course. You lean over and ask Jeebus, "how long have we been here?" Jeebus looks back at you puzzled and says, "dude we've been here for months, what the fuck's wrong with you?" You take a sip from your Guiness and begin to think back. It all starts coming back..the attack and the never ending nightmare that has become our life.
Jeebus has passed out in a drunken stupor again. The pub is dark and smells like 3 month old cheese. You walk away from the bar and notice more people sleeping at tables, a door to the kitchen, stairs that lead to a basement, and poorly boarded windows. /ou decide to;
A. Walk back into the kitchen to look for some food.
B. Head down to the basement.
C. Sit down and talk to the others.
D. Peek out the boarded windows.

[Abraham Smashington]

D)

You slowly make your way to the boarded windows, carefully stepping over discarded condom wrappers and bits of cheese. As you get closer to the window you being to hear strange sounds emanating from outside. You peek outside through a knot in the wood when you see them. Babies. Babies everywhere. Babies with chainsaws. Babies with flamethrowers. Hell, even babies with tridents. Puzzled you watch them for a moment. That's when you see her. She is struggling to stay ontop of a lightpost. But babies are piling up and over each other right below her. She is screaming bloody murder. Even Jeebus stirs at the sound of the screaming. Do you:

A) pretend you dont' hear her and go back to the barstool
B) Scream out : Hey, FUCK YOU BABIES!
C) Grab a pool cue and charge headfirst in to the mass of babies
D) Film the ensuing carnage with your cameraphone

[Abraham Smashington]

Also, try not to writei n the first person if possible. No "I"'s

[patronsaintofcheeseburgers]

I choose A

[patronsaintofcheeseburgers]

You turn away from the soon to be murder, walk back to the bar and ask for another pint. The bartender fills your glass and asks you what the weather was like. The bartender's skin is pale and his eyes are sunken in.
Jeebus shouts out from the other end of the bar "what the fuck does it matter, if it's sunny we'll never enjoy it again and if it's raining, snowing or hailing it doesn't make a difference. We're fucked, we're stuck in this shit hole forever."
The bartender shouts back, "Fuck you Jeebus, fuck your attitude and your negativity. You're cut off for this week, no more for you."
You cut in, "Guys, relax we're in this shit together. I mean, they're fucking babies for godsakes...how bad could they be?"
"How bad can they be?" said Jeebus "Are you fucking kidding me? You've forgot everything haven't you. Your family, your dog, your home. It's all gone, just like we will be as soon as this shit runs out."
You sit down by yourself in an isolated corner and try to remember what has happened. Then it all comes back...
A. There was an influx of infants who were given a bad immunization shortly after they were born that turned them into super geniuses with murderous tendancies.
B. An alien race of babies attacked and have slowly began to wipe out humanity. due to their small stature they can't open doors or pry open boarded windows.
C. I can't think of anything else, so you can make something up...

[Abraham Smashington]

I choose B.

[Abraham Smashington]

As you sit in the corner, the screams from outside finally die down. The images come flooding back to you.

It all began a few months ago. There were strange electrical storms happening all over the country. Crop circles in the shape of pacifers were showing up in wheat fields all over the Bible Belt. They were pegged on teens hopped up on Robotussin. How wrong that was.

Soon the news came flooding in: "Babies from space have landed in all the major cities and capitals of the world. They want one thing: BLOOD!" And so the great war began. People chose sides. Some decided to stay on the babies side. They chose poorly (the babies maimed them and then took naps in the blood that was spilled). IT was complete anarchy. The government fell in little under a week. It was every man for themselves. The only saving grace of all this was the fact that our super smart scientists concluded that due to their small stature, they cannot open doors or boarded windows. Any living person was told to board up their doors and windows and stay calm.

But it was too late. Images of your family come rushing back to you. The happiness, the alcoholic benders, the DESTRUCTION. They were torn limb from limb by a pack of savage babies while you watched. Then they were teethed to death and you still watched. Your dog got it even worse and you did nothing. Your dog, "Mr. Sneezers" was used as play thing. They put peanut butter in his fur and pulled his tail (THE HUMANITY!). You only made it out because you used your mother's torso as a shield. That is the last thing you remember.

As you sit in the corner, unaware of your surroundings (because you are too selfabsorbed in your own backstory), you feel a small pebble hit your head and look up. " 'noh MY GOD," says Jeebus, "They have found a way in...GAME OVER MAN, GAME OVER!" You jump to your feet and:


A)do a sweet little jig

B) pick up Jeebus (he is a midget, and we all know that midgets like to be picked up and carried) and run to the basement

C) Ask the Bartender if he a card carrying member of the NRA, and if he has any guns

D) Pull out a cigarette, light it up, and prepare for your death...

[Ari]

I pick A

[Ari]

So, knowing full well that your last hope for survival is making them babies laugh, you began an epic jig. One killer baby pokes his head through the hole in celling, a bloodthirsty look in it's eyes, when it pauses to witness your jig. The baby slowly tilts it's head to the side, a slight smile growing on it's face. Then it giggles. Jeebus and the bartender see that the jig has stopped the baby, so they began to dance a jig as well. The baby giggles some more, then it spits up no less than a gallon of milk, and the giggling turns into full uproarious laughter. The baby no longer can keep hold, and plunges to the ground. Now, more and more babies began to pop out of the hole in the celling, all falling to the ground while laughing thier baby brains off. You pick up Jeebus, jump on the bar and continue the jig of all jigs. 10, no, 20 babies are all laying on the ground laughing so hard milk and pee are flying everwhere. Then, a baby stops laughing. It gets a constipated look on it's face and begans to cry. You began to worry. What if your jig is starting to fail? Before you can even finish your thought, the baby explodes in a blast worthy of a 4th of July climax. You, Jeebus, and the bartender all look at each, shocked shitless and:
A) Continue the jig in the bar
B) Run out of the bar and began to jig in the street
C) Pick up a bunch of liquor and throw it at the babies, then toss a match at them
D) Kick Jeebus off the bar and into the baby herd

[Abraham Smashington]

I choose C!