ISSA GOTDAMN WEEKEEEEEND THREAD

[Lisa]

Lisa- since you got all the cute stuff this weekend- what are you wearing today? You should take a picture and post in a new outfit- and the boys promise to behave.

Nope! I'm sorry, hon, but I'm really not crazy about posting pictures of myself all over the place, so I only do it once in a great while.

And actually, the only new thing I'm wearing today is the Estee Lauder perfume! I'm being strategic with the new clothes for the week. Today I am wearing pretty much one of the few old outfits that weren't overly horrible. Tomorrow is my birthday, so I'll give myself a boost by wearing one new outfit. Then Wednesday and Thursday, we have our offices FILLED with clients round the clock, so I'll wear the other two new outfits then - plus, Thursday after work, I'm having dinner with George, so I want to wear the nicest one so that he sees me in it. Then Friday I'll have to figure something else out.

I think the other thing that totally trips me up, clothing-wise, is that I keep getting it into my head that getting new clothes means that they all have to be purchased at once. Then I get stuck on that hamster wheel of, "I can't afford all new clothes!", and I don't wind up buying any. But if I just slow down and take a deep breath, I realized that I can buy one new garment each pay period, and slowly build up a decent wardrobe bit by bit and still be ahead of the game. So I'm just trying to figure out new ways of gathering up nicer clothes without psyching myself out that I can't afford it. Because, you know, one $45 sweater in a pay period isn't going to break the bank.

[Ingrid]

(mine are Easy Spirit - which, as we all know, "looks like a pump, feels like a sneaker". And I'm guessing you're too young to have ever seen that commercial - I think I was in high school when that was on TV!)

Hahaha, oh, wow! Yes I remember that commercial!

[Lisa]

Wow, really? I figured you'd be too young too, Ingrid! I distinctly remember being in high school gym class, and as we'd be waiting around to start, my best friend would look around and go, "Okay, where are our Easy Spirit dress pumps so we can get the basketball game started?" (Remember on the commercial, they'd show a "real" woman's basketball game where they were playing in Easy Spirit pumps instead of sneakers?)

[Timothy225]

Wow, really? I figured you'd be too young too, Ingrid! I distinctly remember being in high school gym class, and as we'd be waiting around to start, my best friend would look around and go, "Okay, where are our Easy Spirit dress pumps so we can get the basketball game started?" (Remember on the commercial, they'd show a "real" woman's basketball game where they were playing in Easy Spirit pumps instead of sneakers?)

Not the same commercial, but...

Man, girls wearing pumps... oh, the joys of being a leg man!

[BillyG]

Not the same commercial, but...

Man, girls wearing pumps... oh, the joys of being a leg man!

Tim, if only you were with me this morning. It was pretty chilly this morning, and one of the admins was coming in at the same time as me. She's tall and skinny as a board, not my type, but legs for days. She was wearing pumps and had a long overcoat covering her dress, so nothing was showing but those long legs and pumps. I almost walked into a wall.

[Lisa]

Hopefully with a comical "DOINK!" sound, Billy!

[Timothy225]

Tim, if only you were with me this morning. It was pretty chilly this morning, and one of the admins was coming in at the same time as me. She's tall and skinny as a board, not my type, but legs for days. She was wearing pumps and had a long overcoat covering her dress, so nothing was showing but those long legs and pumps. I almost walked into a wall.

*shegotlegsandsheknowshowtousethemfist*

Thanks for that, Billy!

[Shit Dickface]

*shortskirtandaloooooooooooongjacketfist*

[Shit Dickface]

Bored, waiting for the chick from yesterday to come pick me up so that we can go be bad together, listening to Whiskeytown and having a bourbon on the rocks.

[Timothy225]

"Whoo-whee! You'll get some leg tonight for sure!
Tell us how you do! Hoo hoo hoo!"

Hope you and Miss Thang get together tonight, Jake - is that St. Pauli Girl? Nice outfit!

[Shit Dickface]

Well, we got together yesterday and it ruled, so hopefully we do it again, haha. And yeah, it's her.

[BillyG]

Jesus christ she has legs that go to heaven.

[Shit Dickface]

Heaven's a good word for it, yeah. We only got through part of Black Dynamite. Also, homegirl bites. Shit's hot. She wants to go buy me some Jameson's now. If I don't post by noon tomorrow, tell my parents that I went out really, really happy.

[Lisa]

Ohhhh, poor Mr. "I'm Going To Die Alone Eight Months Ago"! Now we can't keep track of the girls this guy's boning!

[Timothy225]

Revised checklist:

St. Pauli Girl - latest conquest of the Jakenator. Leggy, flirty, a biter, leads one to believe she's a firecracker when it comes to lovin'. Might be a long-term contender, depending on if there's anything in common 'twixt Jake and her outside of sexin'.

Discotits - strangely absent as of late. Has that ship sailed? Does she pine for our young master Vanderhuge? Will she make a return appearance before the season ends?

FWB - seems to be going pretty strong. Some indication of a possible love connection, and she seems to give Jake good cardio, which is good for his abs, so that's a plus. Has mentioned Jake as being "really good in bed" to Kat, which could lead to somethin' somethin' on that front. Also, could hook up Jake with...

Maria Bamford - far as we know, she's single, has a lot of cred in comedy circles (see Patton Oswalt, Zach Galifinakas), and could help Jake out in his career plans. She's a California gal, but grew up in Duluth, which gets her a thumbs up from the Minnesota BDR contingent. Recommendation: Jake must wear pants when in her presence. Wait until she makes the first move, if she ever does.

Kat - Has seen Jake in the buff at least two or three times. Has heard Jake gettin' busy. Has gotten reliable intel of Jake's exceptional love-making techniques. May carry some residual guilt from abandoning Jake some months back. If something doesn't happen between these two by New Year's, somebody's doing something wrong. Recommendation: If you want her, it's time to bring out your "A Game", dude. A nice candlelit dinner for two, cooked by Jake, some wine, some wooing, and a night of ardent love-making. Again, pants are required, as well as a nice shirt. Preferably one you won't mind having buttons torn off of when she can't stand it anymore and wants you NAO!

Let me know if I missed anyone, folks!