People Who Look Like They Would Kill You...

[V]

You know when people say "the powers that be..." when they're talking about the ultimate unreachable authority? This is who they're talking about. They are literally talking about Powers Boothe. Look at that fucking mustache! That is raw power there. He could destroy you with that facial hair! He will call on dark forces, and fill your mouth with spiders... if you're lucky!

You can tell this picture was taken on a red carpet or something, but he's not looking at the camera. He's not smiling, either... he's grimacing. I bet there's a low growl coming out of him.

I'll bet he's pissed at the papparazzo who took his photo... and if he is, then forget about it! Powers Boothe is going to skin that guy and turn his pelt in at Spencer Gifts for store credit. Then he's going to buy one of those candles that looks like a vagina and he's going to light it and he's going to fuck it until there's nothing left... because Powers Boothe doesn't half-ass anything.

Fuck... this photo should just be shown to babies when they're born, and they'll never turn into sissies. They might be afraid of mustaches for a while, but it'll be worth it. It'll be like the all-encompassing life equivalent of those highway safety videos where it shows the consequences of not wearing a seatbelt. You fuck up and THIS is going to be the last thing you see. They won't even find your bones.

So, to wrap things up... as your mouth fills up with spiders, you will know that he is right and that you deserve everything that Powers Fucking Boothe has done to you.

[Timothy225]

I've had a man-crush on Boothe since his days as Philip Marlowe, Private Eye on HBO (where the hell is the DVD collection for that?). From there, he makes Red Dawn, and eventually Tombstone (with his mustache!).

Tell ya something else... if he did get pissed off enough to actually kill me? Wouldn't mind it a bit. Hell, it'd be an honor! "That's right, fuckers! Powers Boothe, POWERS FUCKING BOOTHE, is going to beat the ever-loving shit out of me! Yeah, who da man?"

[Matt]

Michael Wincott:


Fucker always plays a badass villain.
'1492: Conquest of Paradise'
'Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves'
'The Three Musketeers'
'The Crow'
'Metro'
'Along Came a Spider'
'The Count of Monte Cristo'

The stare. The voice. The fucking PRESENCE.

[PHEDG]

Danny Trejo

[nerdious dorkus]

Jake.

[Lisa]

My favorite guy, my Imaginary Boyfriend from the time I was 13...



...Mr. Tommy Lee Jones. Go kill some motherfuckers, baby.

[Timothy225]

Gotta go with Jackie Earle Haley...



Yeah, he's a sweetheart of a guy, glad his career's going full bore, but he often plays one INTENSE mother fucker in his films (Rorschach? Freddy Kruger?). He's small and wiry, and looks like he'll go full psycho any second, latch onto you and start eating your face or something.

[V]

Possibly...

but would they find your bones?

Most likely.

Powers Boothe FTW!

[B_Metal]

Look, he's even got his Tiger Paws ready to maul.

[gravedigger]

Sometimes my dad looks like Powers Boothe. And it it frightening.

[Shit Dickface]

Thanks for the vote of confidence, nerdious. I got bitched at because my weights were too heavy when my roommate was trying to move them out of the rain. They're only 35lb. dumbbells. A male friend of hers/ours was over and apparently tried to help her move them and complained about the weight. The entire time she's telling me this I'm thinking "IT'S 35 FUCKING POUNDS YOU SISSYASS POTHEADS WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU MADE OF MULTIPLY THAT SHIT BY 10 AND I'LL DEADLIFT IT 10 TIMES FOR YOU". I'm officially a fucking dumbass meathead, and I don't remember when the transition occurred. I still try to be as inoffensive as possible with pop-culture knowledge and reading too many books and pining over girls like a weiner, but when I order a rare steak and scare my other roommate with my adoration of powerlifting when he asks me if I'm a powerlifter, I realize that I should probably just trade my keyboard in for an axe and go live in a cave.

[Matt]

Crime fiction author Andrew Vachss:


This guy is a genuine, real life badass. He's a lawyer specifically dealing in child abuse/exploitation issues, and his 'Burke' series of novels is right up there with Hammett and Chandler on the BADASS scale. I met the man in the early 90s at a book signing, and he's a very intelligent, focused, and driven man who sees himself as being on a bit of a crusade.

The eye patch is the real deal, too.

[Shit Dickface]

fuck yeah Vachss

[PHEDG]

Billy Drago

[PHEDG]

Brian Thompson