John Carter (of Mars)

[Abraham Smashington]

To clarify: The whole Rotten Tomatoes thing doesn't matter to me, as that is some mathematical aggregate of an opinion on the film and not my own. I haven't seen it, so I can't comment on it. I am not bandwaggoning the "franchise is dead" thing. That just sucks.

I just envy Matt's optimism in regards to Carter. IF we do see another one, it won't be for some time or it'll be alot, alot, alot, smaller budget.

[Ben Thomas]

It's aged awesomely. Like a fine wine. We just watched it last week. Still fucking rocks. haters gonna hate.

Well, I've turned on the film. I liked it when I was 16, but now it just comes across as a juvenile, brash mess with some decent looking shots in. Watching Chris Tucker in this is like being shouted out by a New Jersey skank. Deeply unpleasant.

[Abraham Smashington]

Tucker is one of the best parts.

[Captain Russ]

As Armond White would say, "The Falstaff of my generation."

[Matt]

I just envy Matt's optimism in regards to Carter. IF we do see another one, it won't be for some time or it'll be alot, alot, alot, smaller budget.

It will never be done. The stigma surrounding this film's financial loss will linger for decades. It's a shame, really.

[Matt]

And going back to THE FIFTH ELEMENT: I will totally agree that Milla is smoking hot in it.

[Timothy225]

Well, I've turned on the film. I liked it when I was 16, but now it just comes across as a juvenile, brash mess with some decent looking shots in. Watching Chris Tucker in this is like being shouted out by a New Jersey skank. Deeply unpleasant.

You've been to Seaside Heights then? Why didn't you call me? I'd have bought you some suds, son!

Anywho, Ben ain't wrong. Tucker did evoke a pastiche of Seaside, Pt. Pleasant, and Belmar femininity, with elements of Lodi thrown in. The flick itself is splashy as hell, and the story could use a lot of punching up. Still, Willis, Oldman, Milla, etc. did some pretty neat stuff with what they had to work with, so this remains a guilty pleasure for me.

Back on track, I gotta side with Rob and Matt - no way in Barsoom will we see any more JC stuff, certainly not by Disney, after all this. Again, a shame, as I did enjoy the film, warts and all, and am still a fan of the source material.

Wonder if it would've done better as an animated feature, maybe old school Disney style?

[Abraham Smashington]

Stanton should have just done a kickass Pixar flick instead. Especially since so much of it was CG to begin with. The whole project just reeks of poor decisions.

[Ben Thomas]

I think the film would have been wider seen by the people that apparently are scared of the word 'Mars' (Andrew Stanton came off as an over-privileged, pandering prick on Mark Kermode's show when discussing this point) if the advertising had included the title, John Carter of Mars AND acknowledged both the historic significance of the source materials in literature and sci-fi, as well as suggesting that, 'every modern space opera you've liked? Well, this is where it came from'.

[Timothy225]

I think the film would have been wider seen by the people that apparently are scared of the word 'Mars' (Andrew Stanton came off as an over-privileged, pandering prick on Mark Kermode's show when discussing this point) if the advertising had included the title, John Carter of Mars AND acknowledged both the historic significance of the source materials in literature and sci-fi, as well as suggesting that, 'every modern space opera you've liked? Well, this is where it came from'.

THIS. Stanton's biggest mistake was assuming the general public already knew who John Carter was, much like folks know about Batman, Dracula, Darth Vader, etc. Carter doesn't have the same kind of cred in popular culture that Stanton thought he did, and I'm saying that as a fan.

Lack of merchandising sort of helped fuck things up from a "hearts and minds" standpoint, too. I'd kill for a stuffed, plush Woola.

[Ben Thomas]

I don't even think Stanton's to blame completely - he's just following party lines. I agree that this looks to be a really bad case of a film made by committee. And I haven't even seen it.

[Matt]

See it, Ben. There are many stunning visual elements to it that play amazingly well on a big screen. Also, Lynn Collins is fucking HOT.

[Captain Russ]

Also, Lynn Collins is fucking HOT.

This is the part that I'm most interested in.

[Ben Thomas]

I really can't stand the thought of watching Taylor Kitsch for 2+ hours, sorry.

[Captain Russ]

Watch him in the Friday Night Lights TV show. It might change your mind. It changed mine.