New movies undeserving of their own thread - KILLED BY RYAN REYNOLDS

[Captain Russ]

It'll be interesting to see what 'Pirates 4' ends up doing for the weekend AND how it holds up. I gotta feeling that it'll do huge on Friday and then WOM will slow it down on Saturday and (especially) Sunday.

[FilmNerdJamie]

Pirates 4 will be to this summer what Shrek 4 was last summer.

That seems to be what's going down stateside. A normally solid opening ($90 million) is being viewed as a disappointment compared to the heights Pirates previously hit.

Can't imagine Captain Jack not getting raped by Kung-Fu Panda 2 and The Hangover Part II this weekend. You just know the Mouse is counting their blessings for the international grosses.

[Matt]

what's the 'magic number' for P4 to become profitable enough to warrant episodes 5 and 6?

[Matt]

For that matter, WHO here saw P4? Was it as bad as the reviews indicate, or is it merely an average film burdened with too much pre-hatred from the prior entries?

[FilmNerdJamie]

Pirates was good, but overrated. Pirates 2 and 3 were unwatchable pieces of shit.

Pirates 4 is surprisingly OK. Definitely on the bland side, there's still plenty of bad writing from Russio & Elliott and there were moments where the filmmakers definitely dialed back on the budget (i.e. the big action sequence in Act One is Captain Jack wobbling between carriages to escape the British army). Didn't buy for a second that Sparrow ever fucked Penelope Cruz. A rental, I'd say.

[BillyG]

Saw it already made like $346mil including overseas. Yeah, part 5 is coming soon.

[Captain Russ]

in Act One is Captain Jack wobbling between carriages to escape the British army)

Can't even believe I'm saying this shit, but Cutthroat Island did it better.

[Matt]

Can't even believe I'm saying this shit, but Cutthroat Island did it better.

You know, I think that I remember that scene being pretty...good...in CI as well. As I recall, Geena Davis did a really cool stunt for that scene.

NOTHING beats the ship explosion at the end, though.

[Captain Russ]

Flying Langellas.

Flying Langellas everywhere.

[BillyG]

[Matt]

More like 'flying SPLINTERS' everywhere. Nowadays, a stunt like that would be a model or all CGI. Seeing a real wooden ship go supernova like that is simply amazing.

[FilmNerdJamie]

For all the people just now jumping on the "Fuck Pirates!" bandwagon, I'd like to note most of them were nerdgasming about Pirates 2 (and slowly started to see the light with 3). Don't see how those who praised those two can turn around and trash 4. It is better - albeit almost by default.

[V]

Flying Langellas

Along with 'Electric Hackmans', this may be the best band name EVER!

[Anderson]

Pirates 2 and 3 weren't trash. 4 was a missed opportunity in the least, a unnecessary expenditure at most.

[FilmNerdJamie]

And as much as it's cool to hear X-Men: First Class getting good remarks, I can't help but wonder how much of that is strictly "I GOT TO SEE IT EARLY AND IT'S AWESOMEZ!!!!!!!!" which we've seen plenty of times from these guys.