What Emmanuelle Movie Did You Just Watch?

[Ed Hocken]

Torque's only good point: Adam Scott wearing a Sam & Twitch t-shirt

Awww yeah.

[Abraham Smashington]

No. Torque's good point is the fact it exists. That movie is fucking hilariously awful.

[Ed Hocken]

Well duhhhhhh

[Captain Russ]

It morphs into a fucking soda sales pitch at the end.

The audacity of executing so much wrong in such a short amount of time situates the movie in that rare area where it's only redeeming quality is that it has nary a one. And points out this fact at every conceivable opportunity.

And Ice Cube is fucking hilariously shite and the director (music video doucher Joe Kahn) barely hides his contempt for the man, giving him the worst fucking setting to EMOTE™ like it was the fucking Globe Theatre.

God bless Torque.

[Abraham Smashington]

And to think, Kahn was attached to fucking Neuromancer.

[Captain Russ]

He's too good at retarded fare for something like that, and he should stick to what he's incredibly adept at: making shitty shit into polished shitty shit.

We'd probably end up with everyone entering cyberspace through a SlimJim dispenser.

[Ed Hocken]

Someone else just got attached to Neromancer recently...

[Abraham Smashington]

The dude from Splice I believe?

[Captain Russ]

That Species-remaker guy.

[Ed Hocken]

The dude from Splice I believe?

That it, speaking of that guy. I fast forwarded through Cube 2. The sex kill was not how I imagined it.

[Captain Russ]

It never is.

[Abraham Smashington]

It's way more awesome. Why did you fast forward through it? Cube and Cube 2 are pretty great.

[Ed Hocken]

I wanted to see the sex kill.

[BillyG]

Speaking of brah, I might have to check out 2 Fast 2 Furious. If it's anything like Torque and it's short. There could be something here.

Watch it! It's brilliant!

[Ed Hocken]

Alright, I'll give it a shot. I like my redonkoulsness short, that's why I never saw Bad Boys 2. Why in the fuck is that movie 2 hours and 27 minutes?