Your Junk Food(s) of Choice

[Shit Dickface]

Use a lighter to slowly brown/blacken the marshmallow. Just as effective and tasty, just takes a bit longer.

hahaha crack smores

Those pre-packaged ones were probably awwwful. I also loved the Smores Pop-Tarts as a kid, but I'm sure they taste like shit now.

[Abraham Smashington]

SKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET

[BillyG]

http://blogs.houstonpress.com/eating...out_smores.php

Paging Dr. Ingrid, paging Dr. Ingrid

[Shit Dickface]

haha the end of the link is abbreviated to "eating...out smores"

NAAATHAAAAANNN

[BillyG]

haha the end of the link is abbreviated to "eating...out smores"

NAAATHAAAAANNN

Nathan and Ingrid going to have an AWESOME weekend.

[Shit Dickface]

I'd totally smash a s'moregina.

[Shit Dickface]

i'd have a s'moregasm aaahahahaha get it

[BillyG]

i'd have a s'moregasm aaahahahaha get it

[Ingrid]

http://blogs.houstonpress.com/eating...out_smores.php

Paging Dr. Ingrid, paging Dr. Ingrid

Dear Hocken, that's a bit much even for me. Although...

[Lisa]

I had a bad food dream come true happen to me last night. It's a bit of a long story, but I'm still savoring it, so please - allow me to indulge.

One of my favorite bad foods in the world is Genoa Salami. It's somewhat higher in calories and fat than I like, and it's not fabulous on cholesterol, but none of those things are particularly killer. No, what makes it void of any nutritional value is that - being a cured meat - the sodium content is off the charts. So because it's really not good for me, but it's unbelievably delicious, I generally steer clear of it. I'm pretty good about never keeping "bad for me food" of any kind in the house, because I have zero willpower and would wolf right through it. If I do have something bad, it would be a single meal that I've grabbed outside of the home so it's a one time only thing. This way, I don't have it sitting there for me to nosh on at 10 PM.

I'm sure you can see where this is going...

We have this fucking fabulous service in NY called Fresh Direct, in which we who don't have cars can order our groceries online. The prices are comparable with the supermarkets (I genuinely don't know how they do it), and delivery is only $5. The only thing they're kind of high on for the price is fruits and veggies, so I generally get those at the supermarket unless Fresh Direct is having a good special. But for one who has no car, when I need groceries and cat litter and shower spray and other heavy things, Fresh Direct is a god send. I can be sitting around in my slobby clothes at 8 PM at night, and the doorbell rings - and it's the nice man from Fresh Direct with all my groceries.

So last night, my delivery arrives, and this particular order is NOTHING but healthy stuff. It's chock full of Amy's Organics, organic fruit juice bars, flax seed cereal flakes, Finlandia light swiss cheese, skim milk, etc. Nothing bad for me in these boxes, nope.

Then I see an item in there that I didn't order - a mistake from heaven above, you might say. In with all my healthy food is a pack of thinly sliced Genoa Salami (as you've guessed by now). I checked my packing slip to make sure I didn't accidentally click on it when I placed my order - nope, nothing but clean living listed on there. It's purely an accident, which happens from time to time, but normally it's because they forgot something. This was the happiest of happy accidents!

The result? No willpower. None whatsoever. I ate half the pack of salami in one sitting while watching "Dancing With The Stars"! The other half the pack will meet it's fate tonight during the results show. I like to think of this mistake as karma rewarding me in some way. You get an accidental grocery tossed into your order once in a great while, and what are the odds that it's one of your favorite foods in the whole wide world that you continually deny yourself because it's bad for you?

[BillyG]

Lisa, you've done well. I love Genoa Salami. It has been VERY tough for me to get turkey when I go to the deli and not pounds of genoa.

[Lisa]

Lisa, you've done well. I love Genoa Salami. It has been VERY tough for me to get turkey when I go to the deli and not pounds of genoa.

I know, right? Whenever I buy a sandwich for lunch, it's just THERE at the sandwich counter, staring me in the face, as I ask the nice lady, "Hi... uhh... roasted turkey breast on a multi-grain roll, please?" But you should have seen me tear this thing open last night. It was like I blacked out, I didn't even think about what I was doing! It was probably similar to how serial killers blank out when they're chopping up a hooker.

[Timothy225]

"Lisa, it's been too long. You've seemed so... distant lately."

[Lisa]

"Don't you love me anymore?"

"RAWWWRRWAAARRGGGHHHH!!!"

[BillyG]

It was like I blacked out, I didn't even think about what I was doing!

Tomorrow Lisa wakes up with her hair torn, make up smeared all over her face, and a couple pieces of salami next to her. We've all been there.