They Don't Make It Anymore. . . Defunct Foods You Miss

[Ed Hocken]

Curly Whirly? And I thought Manfred Mann was just jabbering random nonsense.

[patronsaintofcheeseburgers]

Haven't seen these in a long time, but they were fucking awesome...

[Shit Dickface]

OH MAN, ORANGE PUSH-UPS.

[BillyG]

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit I had one last night.

[Timothy225]

Oh, the stuff I loved that they don't make anymore:

Cherry Pop Tarts (fuck the frosted versions they have now!)
Fudge Town Cookies
Chocodiles (Chocolate covered Twinkies? MANNA! Oh, my father!)
Cheese Doodle flavored Ruffles (saw these in the snack machine at my last job 5 years ago. HEAVEN!)
Planters Cheez Balls (my thanks toB Grande for bringing that safety-orange colored memory rushing back)

And finally...

[Lisa]

BURGER CHEF!!!!!

I loved Burger Chef!! We had one in our area, and it went out of business pretty fast - I barely remember it past the age of seven. After that, it was strictly McDonald's and Burger King for us. Oddly enough, one of my most fun memories of Burger Chef were the free balloons of the "Burger Chef" and his little sidekick-guy. I always got a fully inflated balloon if I was there, but if my sister and her friends went without me, they'd give her a few uninflated ones so that she could blow them up for me when she got home. She'd always bring me a chocolate milkshake, and then she'd sit there and blow up the balloons for me. I also remember my brother went on a camping trip one summer when I was really little, and when he came back, he goes, "Hey, I brought back a present for you!" He hands me this beat up Burger Chef bag, and it's FILLED with uninflated balloons! I was excited as hell - I had balloons to play with for the whole rest of the summer!

This is exactly what the Burger Chef in our 'hood looked like:

[Abraham Smashington]

I WANT TO GO TO THERE

[Lisa]

It was so awesome. I mean, honestly - as far as the appeal to kids goes, it really wasn't as much fun or tasty as McDonald's, but it was the first burger place I remember going to a lot when I was little. And as you can see, it was tres kitschy!

[Shit Dickface]

I am INSANELY jealous - but congrats! I'll tell you, I'm supposed to head down to NJ for Easter to see my family. I don't want to get a whole box, because then I'll wolf them and be even fatter than I already am. But I *am* going to do a thorough search for them in the vending machines at the bus station so I can at least scrounge up a pack!

Yeah but what if they're disgusting and you're gonna have to buy another one, and then that one sucks but you eat it anyway, and soon you're out of change and frantically clawing at the glass like a hungry dog at a glass door. Then you go home, and all you can think about are goddamn Tastykakes. So you make a run to the store with Mom, 'cause hey it's kinda fun to remember why you hate/love shopping with her, and yet again you wonder just how soon you can get your Tastykake fix. You get there, and you make a quick beeline for the baked goods/pastry section after mumbling to your mom something about needing some Ponds cream. You come back with armloads of Tastykake boxes, slowly nodding at your horrified mother. She asks about the Ponds cream, but you just keep nodding and walk past her outside to immediately devour half of them and roll around in the rest like a dog.

[V]

Yeah but what if they're disgusting and you're gonna have to buy another one, and then that one sucks but you eat it anyway, and soon you're out of change and frantically clawing at the glass like a hungry dog at a glass door. Then you go home, and all you can think about are goddamn Tastykakes. So you make a run to the store with Mom, 'cause hey it's kinda fun to remember why you hate/love shopping with her, and yet again you wonder just how soon you can get your Tastykake fix. You get there, and you make a quick beeline for the baked goods/pastry section after mumbling to your mom something about needing some Ponds cream. You come back with armloads of Tastykake boxes, slowly nodding at your horrified mother. She asks about the Ponds cream, but you just keep nodding and walk past her outside to immediately devour half of them and roll around in the rest like a dog.

Pretty good weed, Jake?

[Lisa]

Well, all that could never happen, because I wouldn't buy Pond's cream - that shit clogs your pores, and they still test on animals. Pfftt! I mean, come on!

(But circle menacingly around my mother with an armload of Tastykakes? That's more likely.)

[Shit Dickface]

Pretty good weed, Jake?

Haha, oh shit. Welp, it was Grape Ape.

[V]

Haha, oh shit. Welp, it was Grape Ape.

LOL!

You don't normally ramble like that, so I figured you scored some puff...

[Lisa]

Haah! Yeah, I don't even smoke, and even I could tell!

[V]

YAY!

My Marmite arrived! Eggs and Marmite toast for dinner!