Post your kickass recipes here!

[Martin]

A bit, but it's not terribly spicy. There's no chilies in it.

[IggytheBorg]

Why the fuck not?

[V]

Because some people will undoubtedly have girl stomachs. Nothing kills culinary rep like having some douchecock say "Wah! It's too spicy!"

Oh... the curry was the duck's nuts, Martin! I made rice AND noodles, though. I'm eating it over noodles for breakfast.

[BillyG]

Nothing kills culinary rep like having some douchecock say "Wah! It's too spicy!"

Ulcer used to ruin any food with the slightest bit of heat to it, but when I was about 17 I realized I felt like shit all the time and was missing out on amazing food. Stopped drinking soda all the goddamn time (goddamn Dr Pepper and stress = insta-ulcer) and eventually I healed and by the time I hit my 20s I could handle plenty of spicy shit. Still don't love super hot, but spices are good. I put cayenne in damn near everything now.

[IggytheBorg]

It's well known how much Diet Coke I drink. Been doing it for years, including Law School & my 1st job thereafter (which was the most stressful period of my life, and prolonged for . . . oh. . . 8 years?). And whenever one of my bosses started giving me extra shit on top of that, I could be heard to mutter: "I'm really gonna miss caffiene and hot food when s/he gives me my ulcer. . . " Luckily [*Knocks wood*] that hasn't happened. . . and I'm - generally - under a lot less stress now.

[BillyG]

Found the Old Bay at the grocery this morning. It was, of all places, with the sushi kitchen. wtf?

[Martin]

Because some people will undoubtedly have girl stomachs. Nothing kills culinary rep like having some douchecock say "Wah! It's too spicy!"

Oh... the curry was the duck's nuts, Martin! I made rice AND noodles, though. I'm eating it over noodles for breakfast.

Glad you liked it. It's a recipe that doesn't need chilies, as the yellow curry packs some heat itself. Not that I dislike spicy food, as my pad thai or thai fried rice can attest, but this curry has depth.

[Martin]

Vert

This is the best dessert I ever had. It looks impressive, but it's really 2 simple desserts, added at the last minutes, with chopped apples and some nuts. That's all there is.



For 6 servings.

Ingredients:

White chocolate cream
5oz (150 g) Heavy cream
1 gelatine sheet rehydrated in cold water for 10 minutes at least
8.5oz (240 g) white chocolate, or chopped up
8oz (220 g) mediterranean yogurt (10% fat)

Green Apple Granitas
17.5 oz (500 g) Freshly pressed green apple juice, or bought green apple juice. Verify if there's added sugar, and reduce the sugar quantity then.
2.5oz.(75 g) sugar
1.75oz (50 g) lemon juice
1 gelatine sheet rehydrated in cold water for 10 minutes at least

1/8 cup of micro-cilantro leave, or cilantro leaves chopped up a bit
6 tbs of good quality olive oil
36 pistachios, chopped a bit.
2 green apples

The how-to:

White chocolate cream:
In a small pot, bring the cream to a boil. Remove from heat, add the gelatine that you'd have squeezed the water of, and pour on the white chocolate. Let rest 30 seconds.

Whip the cream/chocolate mixture well, add the yogurt and whip until well blended. Cover directly with a plastic wrap touching your mix (it will avoid any condensation to form and ruin it) and let rest at least 12 hours.

Green Apple granitas
In a small pot, bring the sugar and lemon juice to a boil. remove from heat, add the gelatine sheet, and let rest a bit to cool a few minutes. Pour on the green apple juice, mix a bit, then pour in a large container and let completely freeze in the freezer. You want a large pan/container so that the granitas will freeze easily. You don't want it thick, hence the larger container.

Assembly
(at the last minute)

After removing their cores, chop the green apple in small dices (1/4 in.). Place into the bottom a your 6 serving bowls/glasses.
Add a tablespoon of olive oil per servings on hte apples.
Add the chocolate/yogurt mix on it.
Add the pistachios on it.
Now with a fork, scrape the granitas and make small 1 inche wide balls and pour one on each, on top of the pistachios/yogurt.
Finish with the cilnatro (not too much, see the picture)

Impress the fuck out of everyone, including yourself.

[Martin]

Chocolate "Pot de creme" with Fleur de Sel and Caramel Chantilly.



The whole sweet/salty will make your brain explode.

Chocolate cream
125 ml of heavy cream
125 ml de lait
2 Tbs of sugar
3 egg yolks
1 cup of dark chocolate (64 to 70%, of the best quality you can get), chopped up if not bought as little penny-sized bites


Cocoa Crumble
1/3 cup of butter
5 tbs of granulated sugar
2/3 cup of flour
2 1/2 Tbs of cocoa
1 tsp of fleur de sel (not salt. Fleur de sel. A more refined, less agressive salt. Used to garnish, to cooking. Will cost you around 10$, but worth it for a lot of things, from salads to this. you'll find this in specialed stores. Or Whole Food maybe)

Caramel Chantilly
1 cup of 35% whipping cream
1/2 vanilla bean, scrapped into the cream
1/3 cup of brown sugar

Crémeux au chocolat


In a small pot, bring the milk, cream and half the sugar to a boil. Remove from heat.

In a large mixing bowl, whip the yolks and the remaining sugar until the yolks starts whitening.

Very important:
Then, with one hand, pour just a bit (1/2 cup at the time) of the hot cream on the yolks while whipping. Never stop, and never pour it all at the time, else you'll have scrambled eggs. By the time you'll have poured half your liquid, the yolks will have tempered, you can pour it all, and whisk. Now pour it back in the pot.

Cook on medium heat while whisking with a wooden spoon. Continue doing so until you can trace a very clear line on the back of the spoon, covered with the mixture. That's when it'S ready.

Note: CONGRATULATION: this is how custards are made! From there, if you bake this stuff, it's a creme brulée. You chill it then churn it: ice cream! Let it boil justa bit more: English custard! Now back to your regular programming:

Now remove this beauty from the heat and sift though a sieve in a bowl with the chocolate on the bottom. Let it rest 30 seconds to melt it.

From there, whip it, with either an electric mixer or whatever you want.

Pour on your serving glass/bowl, and if they don't have a cover, put a plastic wrap and let rest at least 10 hours.


Cocoa Crumble

Preheat oven at 350 °F.

By hand or by machine, mix all the ingredients until you have the constistancy of big breadcrumbs.

Pour on a parchemin paper or silicon sheet on a metal sheet.

Cook for 9 minutes, mixing the crumble every 3 minutes.

Let cool completely, and store in a hermetic containing (it will last 2 weeks)


Caramel Chantilly Cream

In a small pot, bring the cream and vanilla to a boil. Remove from heat and reserve.

In a taller bigger pot, cook the brown sugar to a high heat and keep stiring with a wooden spoon until it starts to boil. Lower the heat, and pour the hot cream while continuing whisking until the mix starts to simmer and being liquid again. Pour the mix in a bowl and cover with a plastic wap directly on the cream and let it cool for at least 6 hours.

Assembly

Whip the cream until you have soft peaks.

Now, add some crumble on the chocolate cream (see picture). Top with the caramel chantilly.

Experience the fun.

[Abraham Smashington]

fuck.

[Martin]

Fuck good or fuck bad?

[B_Metal]

Fuck why can't martin mail me some of that shit mang. I think that's the fuck he's going for.

[V]

Vin's 14 or 15 Bean Soup

1 bag dry beans.(You can find 14 or 15 bean varieties in the bean and legume isle)
1 quart beef stock
1 large can crushed tomatoes
1 pound beef or veal for the meatballs
1 large onion, chopped
3 stalks celery, chopped
3 carrots, chopped
Salt, pepper, a dash of cumin, and herbes de Provence are my choices of spice, but follow your heart.
1 box Acini Di Pepe or other really tiny pasta.

1: Soak the beans according to instructions
2: Add all the ingredients other than the beef or veal to the Crock Pot.
3: Take your meat and make tiny meatballs the same way you would make meatballs for pasta. Some bread crumbs, an egg... use your own recipe, or find mine here.
4: Cook the meatballs partially in a fry pan. They do not have to be completely cooked through.
5: Add the meatballs to the Crock Pot, and set on low for at least 5 hours.
6: When the soup is done, boil the pasta in a small pot. Add it to the soup as you serve.

As stated, some crusty bread, a sprinkle of parmesan cheese, and a young, raw red wine makes this a simple yet serious fucking dinner.

[IggytheBorg]

Look'a dis fancy fuck, shoppin' in the "legume" aisle.

[V]

Haterz be hatin'...