I want this.

[PHEDG]

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[Abraham Smashington]

Just grabbed this shirt....

[BillyG]

If it was something other than black I would have bought it. Hate black shirts.

[Shit Dickface]

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...m=120625261715

[Timothy225]

Do it, Jake! DO IT!

[Ed Hocken]

If I didn't already have a coffee mug. I'd want these:

[Shit Dickface]

Do it, Jake! DO IT!

AB: "What do you mean 'I don't have the money'?"
Me: "Well it's my birthday and-"
AB: "Jesus christ. I can't even-"
Me: "OOH, does this mean you're mad? Are you gonna hit me? Let me take off my shirt, you take off yours, and I'll let you pin me down with your knees."
AB: "HELP."

[Abraham Smashington]

Seriously. I want to use my car fund to do it.

[Shit Dickface]

I would be so horribly creepy the entire time that she'd probably leave right after they poured our water.

[Nathan]

Tempted to throw in $100.

[Timothy225]

I would be so horribly creepy the entire time that she'd probably leave right after they poured our water.

That's just the kind of attitude we DON'T need from you, Jake.

For fuck's sake, you're shooting to be a stand-up comedian, so we know you've got a sense of humor, as well as balls the size of Texas to get on stage in the first place. You're good looking, in shape, rock a killer 'do, etc. In short, you're what many women would call a "catch". And honestly, who the hell is she, huh? An actress - a woman who happens to perform in front of a camera. That's basically it. Other than that, she eats, sleeps, fucks, and shits like every other human.

Clean yourself up, dress to impress, bring Ms. Brie some flowers, and be polite, courteous, show proper manners (hey, pull her chair out for her before she sits down. Stand up when she enters the room!). When you introduce yourself, say "Hi! I'm Jake, and I understand you've always wanted to meet me!" (a little levity there, couldn't hurt), and enjoy yourself for the next 75 minutes. In short, be Gentleman Jake, Swell Guy.

Kids these days...

[V]

When you introduce yourself, say "Hi! I'm Jake, and I understand you've always wanted to meet me!" (a little levity there, couldn't hurt), and enjoy yourself for the next 75 minutes. In short, be Gentleman Jake, Swell Guy.

After that... then you show her your cock.

[Timothy225]

Says you can bring a guest, Jake. I emphatically suggest you bring Vin as your wingman. That way, after your dinner with Ms. Brie, and barring any love connection happening with same, you and Vin can show LA exactly what it means to paint the town red.

[Nathan]

After that... then you show her your cock.

If she's earned it.

[V]

With Jake's rage and my planning? Sheeeiiiit...

It'll take at least 40-50 SWAT cops to take us down... and I'm betting it will take them more than 36 hours to do it... and that's not including negotiation time.

How about it, Jake? Let's you and me make some history!