Sober To Stupid In X

[Bobby Bear]

I have more of these stories, if anyone wants to have the Chris' Epic Drinking stories continue...

I do! I do!

[V]

I want to hear about Bobby getting ripped up on Buckfast™!!

[Bobby Bear]

!!!!!!!!!

Actually, there aren't enough exclamation marks in the world to convey how much that made me laugh just now.

Buckfast™ is traditionally the reserve of the underage in these parts, sir, due to its affordable nature and I was entirely "too punk" during that time for any drinking so no Buckfast™ Blotto stories from me sadly.

I have got blocked on whiskey, and tequila, and Black Gold (A.K.A. our blood) before, though.

I can't believe you know about Belfast's love-affair with Buckfast.™ Amazing.

[V]

Well, a few friends in the Royal Marines brought several bottles to a party I'd been invited to while I was training there. They just called it 'Commotion Lotion'.

It is cruelty in a bottle... and I've had Night Train.

[Bobby Bear]

I'm sure tens of thousands of hung-over Irish 14 year old's would agree with you, on any given Sunday morning.

[BillyG]

Vin, codeine and Sprite. DEEEEEEEEELICIOUS.

[Ingrid]

I'd have to say that one of my favorite experiences was the first time I got drunk.
I was 14 or 15 and it was me and my friend Rachel at her parents' house. They were out of town and we had 4 Woodchucks, a half bottle of vodka and half a bottle of cinnamon schnapps from a failed party attempt a couple of weeks earlier. We started off with vodka and cokes at, like, 3 in the afternoon. Since we were clueless on mixing drinks, they were essentially 2/3 vodka and a splash of coke. That lit us up nicely. Follow that by two Woodchucks a piece(we skipped the cinnamon). I remember at one point we were up stairs and I thought it was necessary to sit down and scoot down the stairs for fear of falling. We spent most of the night whispering "in case the neighbors heard" and called the cops.
We snuck outside after dark(again, in fear of the neighbors) to hide the empty bottles in the boulevard and I think we were asleep be 8 or 8:30. Ah, to be young again.

[Chris Miller]

Have I mentioned how much I used to drink Long Island Iced Teas? Yes? Let me reiterate. I drank A LOT of LIT's. The reason was, as I used to so eloquently phrase it, "More fuck for your buck", see, for those who don't know, an LIT is equal parts Vodka, Gin, Tequila, Rum, and Triple Sec (yes, that's FIVE shots of alcohol). Toss in a little sour mix to flavor and a splash of coke to color, and you've got drunky juice. When you're so embedded in the local bar scene that the soda jerks slide you a full pint sized one of these lovelies for 3 bucks after your shift, well, you tend to turn your nose up at a little bit of rum and a lot of coke for the same price.

There was a place in downtown B-More years ago called The Lava Lounge. On Wednesday nights, 15 dollars at the door bought you a wristband that entitled you to all you can drink domestic beer and rail drinks. Of course, my friends and I went there often, and decided that we should make the business owner regret this promotion.

One such night, Rob and I came in, strolled up to the bar, and ordered LIT's. You see, even though we could drink whatever we wanted (rail that is), we viewed getting shitty drunk as a mission and a privilege, and didn't want too much filler in our way. The very easy on the eyes lass behind the bar poured us two tall ones, we proceeded to throw the straw out, bottoms up, and ask for "Another long island, please.". Well, she could see that we could become annoying little buggers, so to keep us from drinking the next round so quickly, doubled up on the tequila and gin, and less of the other "fairer" counterparts. We drank...we winced.....then downed the rest, and asked for "Another long island, please.". She was impressed, she knew professional alkies when she saw them. She winked at us, and said "You guys rule, top shelf for the rest of the night."

That night, after what had to be 12 of those, I was stumbling across Baltimore's lovely inner harbor, when I came upon a group of Marines, at 2 am, in full dress. To my friends concern, I stumbled over to them, and, in an effort to proclaim my admiration for the job they do, said something to the effect of "You guysh er fukking awwwesumm, cuz you difennd our counttttry..and immm toooo fatt and drunk to do itt, so it's reeeely cool that you doo."

[I_Cassini]

Mine was more like Ingrid's. I was 14 and I had gone on a school trip to NYC for Thanksgiving sans parents. It was a fantastic trip. I had never really had anything but sips of much before that. There was a senior in my room and she went to the liquor store across the street and began to educate us. I remember loving the vodka and Orange juice because all I could taste was orange juice. We then alternated between the vodka, sloe gin, and peppermint schnapps(which I remember about took my breathe away the first time I drank it). I remember everything was hysterically funny and I remember falling down and just sitting in the hotel elevator and staying there while passengers got on and off. We rode it up and down laughing the whole time until an employee in the lobby told us to stop. Ah, Good times.

[Abraham Smashington]

Wow... no one has confessed to getting fucked up on Robitussin™ yet?

I'll never touch that shit again.

[Lisa]

I remember everything was hysterically funny and I remember falling down and just sitting in the hotel elevator and staying there while passengers got on and off. We rode it up and down laughing the whole time until an employee in the lobby told us to stop. Ah, Good times.

Oh, man, that sounds awesome!

[Timothy225]

First time I got drunk (had drunk a TON of beer) was during freshman orientation at college. I lost my virginity that night, or at least the evidence the next morning led to that conclusion, but I literally have no recollection of any of the events. Apart from the puking into the toilet after the girl left.

Only evidence I have is my college ID pic where I'm clearly toasted. I'll try to find it and scan it in so you all can see.

[I_Cassini]

My favorite story with me with too much, I dont drink much so I dont have many stories, reminds me of the time on WKRP in Cinncinati(if any of you old-timers remember the show). They were trying to show how alcohol delays reaction time. So they did an on-air study- venus fly trap and Dr. Johhny Fever. Except oddly the drunker Dr. Johhny Feve,r got the better his reaction time.

That was like me playing Trivial Pursuit. My ex was great at Trivia and highly competitive. Me-not so much- I am great in the science and a couple of others but ooh wee not that geography. So we are playing with a couple of other folks and I am drinking wine and I think I am on my second glass. I am laughing(per usual) and it was like my brain suddenly went on fire! I started getting answers right. And its totally pissing him off because I am winning whilst drunk and I hadnt stopped laughing the whole time. So apparently drinking makes me smarter. That's what I tell myself.

[V]

Not only smarter, but it makes people sexier, funnier, and more bulletproof.

Ok... the Robo story.

During my only tour of Iraq, our brigade commander was big on kissing ass, and not so good at winning over his troops. Which meant no alcohol. Ever. One day, one of my joes came back from sick call. He had three bottles of "Tussin",(the cheap military equivalent of Robo). I looked at him, and asked "Why the fuck do you need three bottles of cough syrup?". He looked at me, and said "Sarge? Do you know how much fucking alcohol is in this? This is desperation in a bottle!"

Well, being the drunk that I was, I let him off with a warning. I told him to keep that shit hidden, and only drink it when he was off-duty. So I went to the First Sergeant.

"Top, I feel like shit. I need to go see the doc. Is it cool?" I asked. He didn't even look up from his paperwork.
"Go, man. Do what you got to do. Oh, if you're getting Robitussin, bring me back one."

Yep... it was that bad. But not as bad as the hangover.

[Nathan]

Yeah, I never went for the Tussin, or robo-trip, or whatever you want to call it. Heard too many horror stories.