The Fucked up News of the Day

[Lisa]

Jesus, I'm just going to be an eterna-bummer in this thread, but if you think that last story is bad, I just can't even imagine this one:

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/...len/52375220/1

I mean, just why? Why do people have to be so incredibly horrible and shitty to each other? What does this gain anyone? Fuck.

[Captain Russ]

The prime suspect:

[Lisa]

I dunno know that picture or who it is. I dunno. No, I dun't.

[Captain Russ]

Welp

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Bearer

He joined the World Wrestling Federation (WWF) in December 1990, after being mentioned by Rick Rude to WWF owner Vince McMahon. McMahon used Pringle's real-life involvement in the funeral industry to create the character of Paul Bearer (a play on pallbearer), a very histrionic, ghostly manager, who was almost always seen bearing an urn (which led to several storylines involving wrestlers stealing his urn), and whose catchphrase was "Ohhh yyyes!". The Undertaker was his only protege to make use of his urn, being able to draw mystical power from it that could revive his strength during matches, sparking up the phrase, "The power of the urn".

[Lisa]

Ahhhh, I see.

[Captain Russ]

It works better when you're an old school fan of such goofy yet awesome shit.

COME ON

[B_Metal]

I dunno know that picture or who it is. I dunno. No, I dun't.

Lisa's what's wrong with Murica's youth.

It works better when you're an old school fan of such goofy yet awesome shit.

COME ON

I knew Paul Bearer when he was Percy Pringle DAMNIT!!!

[Captain Russ]

I still laugh heartily when I hear either name.

[B_Metal]

Wrestling is at it's best when served with a slice of cheese.

[Matt]

That's just mean.

[Captain Russ]

Which part? The decline of the cheestastic gimmicks of yesteryear or my making light of a pitch black story with no happy ending in sight for anyone ever?

[FilmNerdJamie]

Because really who hasn't wanted to strip off those pesky clothes during a kids movie?

[Master Shake]

On the positive side, thanks to him the audience actually got to see something memorable in the theater that day.

He should play all of the showings.

EDIT: Holy shit @ the related photo gallery under the article. "Hey kids, giving your little one-eyed friend a better view of the screen is wrong! Now here's some cartoon characters that we think are sexy!"

[Timothy225]

Checking out that guy's pic makes me wish we had mandatory dental health care in this country. FIX DAT GRILL, YO!

[FilmNerdJamie]

http://www.tmz.com/2012/01/05/fighte...sgender-niece/