Why do I find this so funny?

[Nathan]

Sounds like he should've been in The Scorpions or UFO.

[Lisa]

That's just wrong...

It's WRONG!

Funny as fuck, though...

THIS!

I mean, like Matt said, it's not like the guy's a cool rock star. And it's not funny just because he's old and goofy - if she'd blown Jagger or McCartney, they're old too, but there's a difference. Just google the guy and you can immediately see why this is hilarious. And totally not something I'd brag about, if I were her!

[V]

Seriously, though...

Who has not had sex with a famous person?

[Lisa]

(*Raises hand*)

[Ed Hocken]

Second

But my dad was friends with Jim Varney back in the day.

[Timothy225]

Thirded, though I met a few, and asked Tabitha Soren out for coffee. Shot down, politely, though.

[Ed Hocken]

Yeah, I never got asked by Davey Havok if he wanted to meet afterwards ifyaknowhatimean.

[Nathan]

Thirded, though I met a few, and asked Tabitha Soren out for coffee. Shot down, politely, though.

Really?

[Ben Thomas]

I love the idea that it was a rock concert and that the woman in question went to Ozzy offering head - "No thanks".

Alice Cooper? "I'm good."

Er, Paul MacArtney? "I'm married, love."

Then there's Rolfy, smiling and dabbling paint in a haphazard manner on a canvas, turning paint and material into a bearded kangaroo.

"Sure, why not?"

[Timothy225]

Thirded, though I met a few, and asked Tabitha Soren out for coffee. Shot down, politely, though.

Really?

Yep! Back around Clinton's re-election, Ms. Soren was speaking at Ocean County College (something about folks getting out and voting, etc.). My co-workers at the time knew I had a major crush on her (brainy chick with red hair and a smokin' bod - yep, I was smitten), and they convinced me to go. "So out the door I went (cue Thorogood guitar riff)."

I get there, the presentation starts, and out walks Tabitha in a light tan pantsuit deal. Striking. She does her presentation, then it's Q&A time. I was lucky enough to ask her about how much of a role the media plays in presenting candidates, and why the media doesn't do more to help independent candidates get an equal shot at the spotlight instead of the Big Two, or something to that effect. She answers my question(!), then a few more from the college journalists, then it's time for her to split.

A couple of stragglers had approached the stage to do some wrap up stuff, and Tabitha was making small talk. Somehow, I'd made my way to the stage, and as the last of the stragglers left, I took my shot. "Ms. Soren, I wanted to say thank you for answering my question. I've always liked your political reports on MTV News, especially your interviews with Clinton and Bush during the primaries, as well as the latest go-round."

"Thank you very much!" she said. "Did you enjoy the show?"

"Certainly did! I really learned a lot from your presentation, and was wondering, and I apologize if I sound too forward, if you'd permit me to buy you a cup of coffee?" This is about the time her bodyguard, a big fella who wasn't too pleased I was even in the same zip code as her, was looking even more surly at me.

She says to me "I'm very flattered, thank you, but I have to get back to the city - I have an early morning interview. Maybe next time?"

"Absolutely! Thanks again, Ms. Soren, and I hope you make your way back to Jersey again."

Then she left. I got shot down, but DAMN if I wasn't proud of myself for taking the shot.

About a year later, she wound up on a celebrity-themed episode of Jeopardy! where Jerry Orbach dusted her ass. Deservedly so, as she blew an easy question re: Phil Collins and Genesis. The question? "This drummer for the rock group Genesis has had a brilliant solo career with songs like Sussudio and Against All Odds."

Homegirl worked for MTV. Back then they were running a Genesis or Phil Collins video every five fuckin' minutes. Her answer? "Who is Jimmy Buffet?"

It was at that moment I realized some of these reporters we see ain't as smart as we think.

Still....


Sigh What might've been...