Da da da da, da da da da... PETS!!!

[BillyG]

Lisa, the dog is fucking WEIRD. She will walk over to you like she wants attention, and stare at you. Once you look at her or go to call her over she will run off, turn her back to you, and every once in a while glance back in your direction. She went like 3 days without using the restroom, I would have to pick her up and put her outside, then close the door behind me so she was stuck in the yard. I would watch her poop or pee, then an hour or so later she would come up to me, whining a bit, and I would think she wants attention. She would scurry off, and I figured oh she needs to restroom again, and on my way to opening the back door find huge deposits of piss and shit. Today she managed to piss her way halfway down the hall. I mean HOW IN THE FUCK. Oh and we had a thunderstorm the other day. She was terrified and hiding under a blanket, and came back out after about an hour. Then a small rumble of thunder went over and she fucking forced herself between the fridge and the wall, a space so tight I really thought she hurt herself. She eventually pushed to behind the fridge, where she turned her back to us, and we could see her butt shaking for like an hour. Finally I said look this dog is insane, but we gotta get her out, and we pulled the fridge out and Brittany snagged her while I moved the fridge so she couldn't get behind it again...and she proceeded to try and force herself back there again! And just a minute ago, she came up to me, tail wagging, obviously wanting attention. I call her over, she doesn't come. I pick her up, and put her on the couch to pet her, she jumps off. I finally take the dogs outside again, and she is standing right against my leg. I figure she needs to be picked up so I do. She doesn't even care, looks away from me. I put her down and Gucci comes barreling towards me, tongue wagging, crawling all over me for attention LIKE A DOG FUCKING SHOULD. So yea, I think she's insane and crazy and creeps me out. She's very sweet though. We are more sold on the idea she was not treated well at all every day.

[Lisa]

Yeah, that doesn't sound like out right hitting abuse, but it sounds like she was probably dealt a lot of indifference and neglect. She was probably scared a lot, hence the whole fridge thing. I'm glad you're keeping her, though. Just be very kind and gentle to her, and be patient. It sounds like you and Brittany have a lot of "undoing" to do.

Oh, and Nature's Miracle is the best stuff in the world for the pee smell. It won't do much for the stains, but it kills the smell like nothing else. White bottle, red lettering and cap, available at any major pet store.

[Lisa]

Pet folks! I need some advice to wing on over for my mom and stepdad.

Mom and stepdad have taken in a five year old dachshaund (I think his name is Buddy). He was one of 20 dogs and 30 cats on this gigantic farm where he got no individual attention, was attacked by bigger dogs, and lived outside in a dog house pretty much his whole life.

Now, we're not doghouse people - never have been. We are "pets are family" people, and they live in the house with us. In the case of dogs, they get taken out to go to the bathroom.

Here's the problem - he's not house trained. They were told he was, but he's not. So there's quite a bit of clean up going on, because he's always just gone outside because he lived outside. Anyway, they're already in love with him, he's a sweet boy, but now they have to figure out how to try and housebreak a five year old dog.

Other than seeing about obedience classes at Petco or Petsmart, any suggestions?

[BillyG]

I can only recommend the typical - do not keep out food and water, dole it out to him at certain times of the day. After he eats/drinks give him 30 minutes and take him outside until he does his business until he gets down the rhythm.

[Lisa]

Thanks, Billy - that's not a bad thought.

As soon as I got off the phone with my mom, I hit the interwebz - found the obedience/re-training classes at Pet Smart, found some articles that I sent my mom, and found a book on retraining/housebreaking old dogs on Amazon - I ordered that for them, and sent it "To Buddy from your Cousin Edison - please read this so you don't pee and poop in Gran's house anymore."

Basically, from what I found online, it's not impossible. It has to be approached differently than you approach it with housebreaking a puppy, but it can be done with work and with patience. So hopefully there's some help in the stuff I sent her. I just was wondering if anyone here encountered that problem!

[BillyG]

THIS DOG IS SO FUCKING WEIRD.

OK, so the past week Ditto has been shitting and pissing all up in the house. She has had accidents before, but this has been kind of different. I will take her out, watch her do her business, then she will drop a deuce as soon as I let her inside. The other night I watched them do their stuff, came in, took a piss, walked into the hallway and there's a bomb right there. Then she has decided to start dropping atomic shits. She has done this twice. Once I heard Brittany scream from the living room so I run in there, and she is hurrying to the kitchen with her mouth covered. WTF I'm thinking then I smell it and I'm like oh fuck what the fuck. I thought the sewage backed up, I almost vomited too. Then she pointed out this massive dump on the rug. I had to scrub it out with a rug cleaner to get it up. Then yesterday she did it again, but this time we both smelled it and run at the same time and met at the point of dropination. Again, it was horrible.

Thunderstorms and this dog...not great combo. I already told ya'll how she got behind the fridge. Well last night we had a cold front come in, and thunderstorms with it. She woke me up climbing up on my head, which was weird enough because once she gets under the covers she will NEVER move. Then she starts trying to force herself through the tiny slats on our headboard, like she can get in and under the bed. So I grab her and try to cover her up so she feels safe and comfort her and she freaks out and tries to run over me and jump off the bed. She almost falls off the bed and I got her by her ass, which is tough bc she's a weird shape and weight distribution. So I got the dog by my fingertips and start yelling at Brittany to get up and help me get this dog before she falls off the bed and hurts herself. She helps me get her and we got her between us, trying to soothe her. She is ok for a bit...then there is a big lightning bolt and it lights up the whole room. Ditto flips the fuck out AGAIN. Eventually we let her out of the bed so she can climb under the bed. I turn off the lights finally (this had been going on for like 45 minutes) and I hear some crazy clambering. I turn on my bedside light and ditto is inside my fucking nightstand! My nightstand has a drawer, then a little cubby area, then the top of it. She has stuffed herself inside the cubby area where my clock, phone, books are. She has smushed herself in so compact only her tiny little head is poking out! Brittany and I just had to laugh at that, and I tried to get her out, but she was having none of that, until thunder hit again and she fucking bolted out and under the bed.

Weird fucking dog.

[Lisa]

Wow! I'd say talk to a vet about whatever it is that's bothering her, because taking a poop outside and then coming in and taking another one is a sign that she's anxious about something, or sick. She could just need to go to obedience classes too. But check with a vet.

My mom's new dog, Buddy, has been getting better about not pooping and peeing in the house. He's improving about holding it in and letting them know when he needs to go out. I have a book on the way to them called "Old Dog, New Tricks" that I found on Amazon. Maybe that would help too? It could be she was never housetrained properly.

[BillyG]

I'll look into that book. I had to order some ear infection medicine for Gucci today, so Ditto will have to wait until Gucci's ear isn't flaming red.

[gravedigger]

Found a lump on one of my dogs today that I didn't notice yesterday. It doesn't look like he got bit by anything. I'm debating on how long I need to panic/watch it before I take him to the vet. My heart says "WTF GO RIGHT NOW" but my head says "well, it just showed up within the past day. Give it a few days to see what happens".

This is compounded by finding out this morning one of my friends had to put one of her dogs down because her (the dog's) cancer had advanced too far. Blerg.

[Lisa]

It could just be a bite, Grave, but watch it over the next couple of days to see what it does. It could be anything other than The Big C - I understand you panicking, but it could be nothing. Could be a bite. Could be a benign cyst, or an infected follicle. Don't let it go too long, but watch it over the next couple of days. And I'm keeping my fingers crossed too!

Speaking of pets at vets, allow me to introduce you to the most horribly behaved elderly cat in Queens! I took Edison in for his bloodwork yesterday, to make sure his meds are still working. He's a doll at home, I swear - just so sweet and lovey-dovey. But take him to the vet, and he's like a demon from hell! Jesus - the hissing, the spitting, the growling, the failed escape attempts! And the thing is, he wasn't always like that at the vet till a few years ago. So basically, once he became a cranky old man, he started acting that way whenever he has a vet appt. If he'd had a cane or a walker, he'd have swung it at them. I are embarrassed....

[V]

How do you say "Get off my Goddamn lawn, you kids!" in cat?

[Nathan]

About like this:

[Lisa]

Yup, that's about right, Nathan - that was the face. When I say he actually spit at the vet, I'm not kidding! He let out this big loud HISSSSS, and when I looked down, there was this big foamy puddle of spit on the exam table! I was mortified.

Of course, the vet and his nurse are nothing short of awesome. First thing the vet asks me - FIRST thing - is "Does he act like this at home?" Meaning, this could be indicative that he's very sick or in pain. So the guy truly only cares about whether or not something more is wrong with him, not whether he's pissed off. I said, "Oh, nooooo... he's a calm sweet little doll at home. He only acts this way for you, unfortunately!"

Then when I was paying the bill, I apologized to the nurse, and I said to him, "You can admit it - if he's the worst you've ever had, you can tell me." He said, "Oh, no, not by a long shot. Edison's an angel compared to some we've had!" He then pointed to a small scar by the side of his mouth, and said "See that? Another cat bit me there - I had to get two stitches."

[Ingrid]

Oscar is almost two months younger than Penny, and officially weighs more. Can't wait to get them off this kitten food, he's turning into a little chunko.

[Timothy225]

I get that with our cat Stitch - when he lies on his back, or lies sitting up, he looks a little chubby (most of it is muscle, though. He's a Hulk cat under the fur). If I make fun of it, Jen's the first to say "NO, HE'S NOT!". Patch, however, has a thinner frame with some muscle as well (think Bruce Lee, though nowhere near as serene).