Da da da da, da da da da... PETS!!!

[Shit Dickface]

This cat is seriously fucking gay for me. It's almost obscene. I went to the store, came back, and not 30 seconds after shutting my bedroom door he came howling like a banshee wanting to be let in.

[Chris Miller]

More like because they are animals. Only humans care if they are screwing their sister.

What's all that now?

I'm going to apologize now, as I'm about the bring the room down. A lot. There is, a little funny towards the end, though, at my expense.

We have two cats, well, had rather. Jess and I each brought a cat into our relationship, mine is Timmy, and all black 8 year old kitty, and hers was Jake, a gray tabby, who passed away Thursday night at age 14. He had been diagnosed with feline diabetes a year back, we had him on a special diet and even gave him insulin. The last week or so, though, Jake was really deteriorating. So much so, that Jess and I reminded each other to try to give him as much extra love as we could. So, Thursday night, I see he's in really bad shape, so I pet him a lot, and told Jess when she got home from work (at 9:30). After dinner, she went back to brush Jake and give him some extra attention, and after she brushed him and began petting him, Jake literally passed away in Jess' arms. It was as if he was just waiting for his momma to come home so he could see her and love her one last time.

So, now it's 11:00 pm, and we have a recently deceased feline in the apartment. I call the local animal hospital, but the only option they have is cremation, which Jess isn't comfortable with (frankly, I wasn't comfortable with the price tag, 71 bucks to burn a cat?). She really, really wanted him buried out back. Out back of our apartment. So,
I go downstairs with a bag of the recently deceased, and a broken snow shovel, which is the only digging implement we own. After 20 minutes of poking dirt with the handle and trying to scoop with the shovel, I give up, and head to Wal Mart. It's now 12:30 AM, and I'm standing in line at the register in a dirty, sweaty wife beater, buying a shovel, and not a single soul blinks an eye at me.

So, I make it back home, and go out to a grove of trees behind our apartment, and around 1 am, finally have Jake in his final resting place, that Jess can see from the window when she eats her lunch, and remember when Jake used to constantly try to eat the turkey out of her sandwich.

So, raise a glass, friends, to Jake. He was a good kitty, he loved, and was very much loved in return.

[Shit Dickface]

Glass raised to a similarly-named bro. Godspeed, sir.

Also, THREE FUCKING SQUIRRELS NOW. All boys, thankfully. My roommate misjudged the one until his weiner showed up this morning after the first feeding.

[Abraham Smashington]

Pours one out for Jake. Night digging...

[Matt]

My condolences, Chris. You did right by the little guy AND by your woman.

[Timothy225]

You're a good man, Bill. For Jake, and for your girl...

[Chris Miller]

Thanks guys.
Tim, I'm Chris, nice to meet ya.

[Timothy225]

Y'know what it was? You both have similar Scott Pilgrim avatar thingies, and I got confused. My deepest apologies, and my deepest condolences.

I am fail... again!

[Chris Miller]

Apologies and condolences not necessary, my friend, but accepted anyway.

[Howard]

I poured one out for Jake tonight. Hate to hear about the loss of a loved pet.

[BillyG]

I'm sorry to hear about your night Chris, but I must admit to laughing pretty good at the image of an exhausted Mr. Miller sullied and sweaty looking properly white trash buying a shovel in the middle of the night.

[Nathan]

Late to the party. The Jake death news confused me greatly until I read up. Sorry man. Half teary now. I know my bud can't have too long. Little pecker will probably live just to keep peeing on the basement floor. Ass head cat ass cat ass.

[Howard]

Hey Jake. Scottie wants to meet your squirrels.

[Lisa]

The screen's pretty blurry right now, Chris - I'm having a bit of a cry over your Jake. My condolences to you and Jess; and you're a good man, too, you know.

[gravedigger]

I thought I was going to have the same party as Chris as one of my dogs was shitting blood yesterday. One trip to the emergency room later and it seems likely that he stressed himself out too much while he was at doggie hotel and got a wicked ulcer. I seriously thought he was going to die. Seems okay today, though. Dogs are crazy resilient.