Texas: WAY COOLER THAN MINNESOTA AND OHIO

[Lisa]

Jesus christ! Therapy for the rest of that kid's life.

[BillyG]

Russ' people.

[Captain Russ]

The Dallas Morning News reported Tuesday the police went to the woman’s apartment acting on a tip.

Just the tip.

[Captain Russ]

Pigvomit has thrown his hat in the ring.

The Know-Nothings have their champion.

[Ed Hocken]

So what's with those gay rumors? Is there any dirt on this or what?

Also, there must be a record for the fact that Josh Brolin could play this guy in a movie.

[V]

So what's with those gay rumors? Is there any dirt on this or what?

Also, there must be a record for the fact that Josh Brolin could play this guy in a movie.

Ed, the only way for us to know is for you to travel to Texas, let him seduce you, then let him mount you like a proper God- fearing Christian would.

Keep us updated.

[Captain Russ]

Ed, the only way for us to know is for you to travel to Texas, let him seduce you, then let him mount you like a proper God- fearing Christian would.

Or if he ends up in a warm and loving embrace with Marcus Bachmann.

[V]

Or if he ends up in a warm and loving embrace with Marcus Bachmann.

That would also work...

[Shit Dickface]

don't get Brolin mixed up in all this dude he seems alright

[BillyG]

I haven't heard gay rumors, but he was in the A&M ROTC. I know a couple of dudes that went through that and man...yeah, they got things they need to discuss with a shrink.

[Ed Hocken]

Apparently, Perry was also a cheerleader at A&M.

Make of it what you will.

[V]

Apparently, Perry was also a cheerleader at A&M.

Make of it what you will.

I'm making it that you have not booked a flight yet. Your 'taking one for the team' could be the journalistic coup of the year!

[Ed Hocken]

Not a chance.

[V]

Not a chance.

Think of the book and movie rights!

As your agent, I implore you to reconsider...

[Ed Hocken]

So it's like a gay porn version of The Departed? Where I'm hired by Joe Biden to infiltrate the Perry Organization as Perry's Rent Boy?