What the shit is wrong with kids today?

[Abraham Smashington]

[Lisa]

Those last two posts are the stuff of nightmares.

[Anderson]

That's why they need to make another movie version. This time starring Selena Gomez and Joe Jonas with a soundtrack by Taylor Swift.

How can you survive the Holocaust when you've got to worry about zits?!?

[Abraham Smashington]

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[Abraham Smashington]

HEY PARENTS, HOW DARE YOU KISS YOUR KID ON THE LIPS.

[Shit Dickface]

My family always used tongue to properly convey just how much we enjoyed and appreciated sharing a familial bond

okay it was only my uncle but still

[Ed Hocken]

And what of taking pictures of your kids while they're in the bathtub? Sure, doing it when he was 14 was out of line. But how can you restrict such things?

[Lisa]

I mean, seriously - a quick peck on the lips isn't sexual. That person needs to ease up. If there's tongue or fondling, THEN you have a problem.

Actually, it's funny that that article didn't mention a really super-creepy Dear Margo letter. About three years ago, this guy wrote in saying that he kissed his nine year old granddaughter on the lips, which he didn't see as a big deal. Okay - fine. BUT, then he says that on the most recent occassion, he slipped his tongue into her mouth. The girl told her dad (the guy's son), and now his son won't let him within a mile of the little girl. And this crackpot is saying to Dear Margo, "Now, do you think that's fair? It was harmless!" Dear Margo's response was one of my favorites, because she didn't even try to be gentle with him. Her response was, and I quote, "I think you need to admit to yourself that you basically french-kissed a third grader. I can't say that I blame your son for not wanting you in your granddaughter's life - sorry."

[Ed Hocken]

What the hell happened to a kiss on the cheek or forehead or the nuzzling of noses?

Isn't that enough?

[Matt]

I draw the line at anal.

[Ed Hocken]

Well, if it went that far. At least have the common descency to give a reach around.

[Shit Dickface]

WHY DID THE GUY SLIP HIS TONGUE INTO HER MOUTH EW EW EW EW EW

[Ed Hocken]

I got news for ya, Jake. It wasn't the mouth!

*Cues dramatic music*

[Lisa]

WHY DID THE GUY SLIP HIS TONGUE INTO HER MOUTH EW EW EW EW EW

I have no idea what would have possessed him to do that. He did give a reason, but I was horrified enough to forget what it was. But you should have read the letter from this weirdo! He was seriously like, "What the hell, people? Is that really so wrong?" And Dear Margo was like, "Yeah, creepy grandpa molester, I'll explain why you don't slip your granddaughter the tongue after I go shower the skeeviness off of me."

[Abraham Smashington]

I think he did it wrong.

He should have watched the instructional dvd that comes with it.