RUMOR CONTROL...THESE ARE THE FACTS

[B_Metal]

Transformers 2 and gettting raped by a gang of zebra's would make a good "someone kill me" double feature.

[FilmNerdJamie]

BOOURNS

I love all three Bourne films, even the first one. They definitely kick it up a notch with 2 and 3, but the first one is a damned fine film with really only one duff moment (the plummet).

I was saying "Boo-urns!"

[FilmNerdJamie]

Seriously though, castrating the cast like this confirms (in a round about way) that the sequel will be much-more scaled back affair.

[Matt]

Seriously though, castrating the cast like this confirms (in a round about way) that the sequel will be much-more scaled back affair.

No, it means that it's gonna involve Shipwreck. It'll be the fucking Shipwreck origin story, and everyone else will be pushed aside into supporting roles. Shipwreck this, Shipwreck that...they'll try and turn him into the franchise's Wolverine.

Mark my words: Shipwreck.

[BillyG]

I want a Mikey Whipwreck origin story.

[FilmNerdJamie]

Guess that means they won't blow up the moon in G.I. Joe 2.

DAMN IT!

Oh, and Jeffery Dean Morgan for Sgt. Slaughter. And Orson Welles (Vincent D'Onofrio and dubbed by Maurice LaMarche) as Cobra Commander to replace Levitt.

[Matt]

J.D. Morgan for Bazooka.

[B_Metal]

I want a Mikey Whipwreck origin story.

So.Much.WINNING!! I met Mikey once, cool guy.

[Matt]

I just got sick of Shipwreck on the cartoon, though. Every single mission had to have him involved.

Where's the mission?
It's at the North Pole.
Well, we'd better bring Shipwreck, then.
Why? Shouldn't we bring SnowJob or something? You know, a guy with Arctic skills?
No, we need Shipwreck!
OK. We're also gonna need a guy that can fire a bazooka. Let's bring...
Shipwreck! He can fire a bazooka just fine.
Well...yeah, but we've got a guy actually called Bazooka. Can't we give him a gig?
No, no room to spare. Shipwreck can fire it...have him get Bazooka's bazooka.
...OK...we also need a female agent to infiltrate...
Shipwreck! He's perfect for the job.

Every. Single. Week.

[FilmNerdJamie]

I hope they get Marlee Matlin as Snake Eyes' love interest. Imagine the quality writing and dialouge they'd share.

[BillyG]

So.Much.WINNING!! I met Mikey once, cool guy.

Indeed he was. Wonder wtf he does now.

[B_Metal]

Hocking shit for $$$ and twittering

[Captain Russ]

I think we're all forgetting the positive news from the JOE-culling:

no Marlon Wayans.

inb4racism

[Matt]

I actually didn't have a problem with Marlon Wayans. He was more fun to watch than Channing Tatum, that's for sure.

[Captain Russ]

I have a problem with Marlon Wayans.

C-Tates is a dumbshit prettyboy and will always be a dumbshit prettyboy.