A Plain Old Joke Thread...

[Abraham Smashington]

[B_Metal]

Lulz, The Rock just keeps on trying and trying.

[Lola]

Two drunks walk out of a bar and see a dog licking his balls. Drunk #1 says,"Wow,I wish that I could do that", and drunk # 2 says,"You'd better be careful,that dog might bite!"

[Lola]

At a wedding party recently someone yelled, "All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."

The bartender was crushed to death....

[Lisa]

Bumped - this is the blonde joke I wanted to tell Jen...

There's this blonde, and she's sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. She feels she would probably get more respect as a brunette, so she dyes her hair dark brown. Filled with new-found confidence, she heads out to take a walk and test her theory.

She passes by a farm, where a farmer is tending to his herd of cattle. She marches up to the farmer and says, "Sir, I'd like to wage a bet with you. If I can guess exactly how many cows are in your herd, I get to keep one and take it home with me." The old farmer mops his forehead with a bandana, nods, and says, "Okay, then, little lady. That's a bet."

So she whips out a calculator, does a little long division, a few multiplications, and then proudly announces, "There are 217 cows in that herd!" Well, the old farmer is amazed! He says, "Well, I'll tell you what, little lady - I never welch on a bet. Congratulations, go on out there and pick out your cow."

She skips happily out into the herd, picks out the one she wants, waves to the farmer and heads home.

About an hour later, there's a knock on her door. She answers it, and it's the farmer! "Well, hi there! What can I do for you?"

The farmer squints his eyes at her, nods his head, and says, "Yup. Now it's MY turn to wage a bet with YOU. If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

[PHEDG]

Yesterday was one of the coldest opening days in history. You could tell it was cold because foot long hot dogs fit inside regular size buns. There were plenty of bad pitches, but no balls.