dating online weirdos/loser/interesting people....

[nerdious dorkus]

So when I rewrite my online profile, I should note that I'm not curious about the world and that I don't have anything to offer?

[Shit Dickface]

Exactly.

fuck I'm hoping that I can pull something together within a month or else I'm going to accidentally kill the next woman I have sex with with my rapid-fire shot. I don't want this to be like Duke Nukem Forever but with getting laid fuckkkk

[Ed Hocken]

Hail to the King, baby!

[zanie]

oh god...i have also made an OKC account. again. this shall be hilarious.

[Lisa]

But what if THIS GUY is the one who really means it Lisa. GOD YOU'RE SO CYNICAL. Lulz.

I'm not a cynic, trust me on this one! That guy's ad is like the online dating version of the hack comics who do Jack Nicholson imitations.

Jake, you can always run your ad by us here! The ladies here - we'd be happy to give you advice on what would work, what sounds attractive.

But honestly? I think you just need to give yourself more time, hon. Really. You're young, you take care of yourself, you're good looking, you're funny and smart, and you live in a major city - you don't really need a dating site at this stage of your life, you know? I think right now the break up is still so fresh for you that it's messing with your head. You're forgetting everything you have going for you.

[Lesley]

Jake, you can always run your ad by us here! The ladies here - we'd be happy to give you advice on what would work, what sounds attractive.

Heck yeah!!

... you don't really need a dating site at this stage of your life, you know? I think right now the break up is still so fresh for you that it's messing with your head. You're forgetting everything you have going for you.

Well, unless it's a dating site for just getting laid...

[Shit Dickface]

I appreciate the offer of help with ads when I post one!

But honestly? I think you just need to give yourself more time, hon. Really. You're young, you take care of yourself, you're good looking, you're funny and smart, and you live in a major city - you don't really need a dating site at this stage of your life, you know? I think right now the break up is still so fresh for you that it's messing with your head. You're forgetting everything you have going for you.

Thanks for this, I kinda needed it. The lonely part is starting to creep in a little and it's bugging me. And yeah, I'm absolutely not looking to get into a relationship right now anyway - it sounds kinda like a disaster. I'm even probably going to be a little hesitant to dive into dating right now too, even, because I don't want to come off as all fucked up and unhinged while I'm still trying to sort stuff out for myself.

[Howard]

I need to find out what site my Dad was using. Don't know if I mentioned or not but he's currently in the process of a divorce from his Russian wife that is one year older than me. HUGE drama. So it hasn't been all that long but my Dad is in that retirement/not wanting to be alone mode. Seriously. He would end his emails with "Write back soon." Ugh.

He meet someone online back in Jan. He spent a few days down with her in Little Rock and then she came up to spend some time at his place for Valentine's Day. Now? She's moving in . Part of me is concerned that it's moving way fast and he isn't even divorced yet (and unfortunately since I have been so busy with work, I haven't been able to find a tactful way to broach the subject with my Dad).

That being said, ALL of my Dad's friends love her. Apparently she is also making him very happy. He called tonight to wish me a Happy Bday and you could definitely hear joy in his voice. Been many, many years since I have heard happiness in my Dad's voice so this makes me a little more at ease. Vanessa (the new woman) wasn't home when my Dad called but she called me about hour later. She even sounds normal and nice. Planning a June trip to Arkansas to fish with my Dad so I'll get firsthand information.

[Lisa]

Thanks for this, I kinda needed it. The lonely part is starting to creep in a little and it's bugging me. And yeah, I'm absolutely not looking to get into a relationship right now anyway - it sounds kinda like a disaster. I'm even probably going to be a little hesitant to dive into dating right now too, even, because I don't want to come off as all fucked up and unhinged while I'm still trying to sort stuff out for myself.

No problem - I am here to foist my years of shitty dating experience onto you! Learn from my mistakes, because I made plenty - one of which was rushing into things after a break up. The best thing you can do is just hang with your friends, spend time on your own thinking about what you really would want out of a relationship, "do what you need to do in private", all that stuff. Be single for a little while longer - again, you're young, so you have lots of time ahead of you. It's too soon for a "girlfriend", and a one night stand - meh, I've never been big on them. Just take some time for you - if you get lonely, that's what friends are for. You're in a perfect position right now to get to know your new roomies, spend time cultivating that new friendship.

He meet someone online back in Jan. He spent a few days down with her in Little Rock and then she came up to spend some time at his place for Valentine's Day. Now? She's moving in . Part of me is concerned that it's moving way fast and he isn't even divorced yet (and unfortunately since I have been so busy with work, I haven't been able to find a tactful way to broach the subject with my Dad).

That being said, ALL of my Dad's friends love her. Apparently she is also making him very happy. He called tonight to wish me a Happy Bday and you could definitely hear joy in his voice. Been many, many years since I have heard happiness in my Dad's voice so this makes me a little more at ease. Vanessa (the new woman) wasn't home when my Dad called but she called me about hour later. She even sounds normal and nice. Planning a June trip to Arkansas to fish with my Dad so I'll get firsthand information.

Hmmm.. interesting! If he sounds happy, that's important - as someone who knows him and loves him, you're in a good position to judge if he really sounds content or not. Keep your ears open till your trip in June, and then get the scoop!

[V]

Jake,

When all else fails...

show them your wang.

[V]

Subject Line: Thar She Blows

36-year-old man -- Minneapolis, MN
- seeking women 18-37
- Relationships: Divorce

'In my own words'

For Fun: I like dance like a futuristic bird, sing random melodies and eat rasberry pies.
My job: I am a bariatric surgeon
Favorite Hot spots: the bar on 50th st
Favorite things: raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens Brown paper packages tied up with strings These are a few of my favorite things
Last read: Instruction manual on how to use my toothbrush.
About my life and what I'm look for: I'm best described as friendly with a sense of great adventure. It may take a little while to get to know me, but once you are a friend you are a friend for life. I am stable, intelligent/curious about the world, confident, attractive, honest in all of my actions. I'm looking for someone who shares many of the same qualities and is seeking a long term relationship. I am ready to settle into a comfortable life with the right woman and I have a great deal to offer emotionally and spiritually.

Hair: black
Eyes: brown
Exercise habits: Exercise 5 or more times a week
Education: PhD
Occupation: Medical

It's true. It's shit.

When I had mine up, I just said I wanted someone who liked sex, cooking and video games.

It worked, though.

[zanie]

first message i get is...."lets grab coffee".....uhhh yeah OKAY! first let me find a way to disguise this rocket launcher to the side of my arm...just in case.

this is scary.

[Abraham Smashington]

Haha. Use a shawl.

[Shit Dickface]

Sorry, would you prefer beer?

[Abraham Smashington]

ZING!