dating online weirdos/loser/interesting people....

[Shit Dickface]

DAMNIT. WHY NOT ME?!?!?!

He'll go ATM on you too, just be patient.

[BillyG]

He'll go ATM on you too, just be patient.

I just lost part of my Route 44 Cherry Slush.

[Lisa]

I met George on Match.com, so I've had pretty good luck with online dating. And I met him relatively fast (after I'd been on there two months), which almost never happens.

Ohhh, but the stories we BOTH could tell about the people we emailed or met before we met each other!

The first guy on Match that I went out with turned out to be a guy I'd already DATED 12 years before that! His profile picture looked 12 years different, and I didn't remember enough about him that I caught on till about halfway through dinner. (Anyway, then George was the second guy I went out with, so dat's da name of dat tune!)

I had to block one creepy guy on Match. See, on most dating sites, you have the choice of, if you don't like someone, sending them a "no thank you." Or, you can just delete their email. Here's my advice - just delete the email, don't send them a "no thanks". Because if you just delete it, they don't know if you read it or not. If you send a 'no thanks", that goes back to them to let them know you specifically aren't interested - then if they're weird enough, you're stuck with them. So I learned that the hard way - I "no thank you"d this guy and he just got so creepy and persistent I had to block him. And not just creepy and persistent - but creepy and persistent with misspellings! "No, u r too hott, i'm not going to let u ignor me." BLOCK!

One guy on OK Cupid who had a picture of Harpo Marx up as his profile picture (and that was the only photo!) used to contact me at least once a week. Aaaand, delete!

Another guy - my friend and I nicknamed "Smoove B" after the guy from The Onion. His whole profile was just like one big long, overly romantic, hearts and flowers post. My co-worker talked me into replying to him, so I did. He was really good looking, and I figured, "Okay, so he's a little overly romantic - what can it hurt to talk to him?" So I get him on the phone, and he turned out to be the most negative, bitter sad sack I ever talked to! I got off the phone in about five minutes.

Then there was the guy who told me in no uncertain terms that I was too fat to date.

George had his share of weirdos too - he went out on one date with this girl who literally didn't say a single word to him the whole date. Not a WORD. Then she had the nerve to call him three days later to see if he wanted to go out again.

Then, you always have the option of doing a chat with someone if you're both online at once. So he was online, and this girl sends him a chat request. He didn't want to, he was tired, so he just logged off. Now mind you, he'd shared maybe one other email with her. And she sends him this HUGE, scary, scathing, Glenn Close email about how she sent him a chat request and he ignored her, and blah blah blah. So yeah, he never bothered meeting her, LOL!

Anyway, I do know plenty of couples besides us who've met online, so it is a good way to do it, but yeah, you get your share of weirdos.

[Ed Hocken]

I did too, for a few months. Republican girls are fucking SLUTS.

Let's not even talk about the Republican guys, am I right fellas?!

[nerdious dorkus]

...but yeah, you get your share of weirdos.

Like me?

[Shit Dickface]

Let's not even talk about the Republican guys, am I right fellas?!

[BillyG]

I've had a few experiences, but the one that sticks with me is Sarah. Oh Sarah. This girl was the full package. Beautiful, smart, similar interests, and could hang with the sailor's sense of humor. We texted and spoke on the phone for a week or two, before we could hang out. First date we went for pizza and beers, laughed about other dates we had been on, shared the text messages from friends we were getting on how the date was going. Just a generally amazing time. She was probably the first girl I felt a really good connection with after just the first date, and I had been on a lot of first dates.

Second date we just grabbed a quick bite to eat, because she was going out of town for a few days, but wanted to see me before she left. Well, that certainly sounds like she felt a connection as well. So we met for some grub, chatted and laughed, and before she left she asked what I thought about her. Now she had mentioned before that she likes it when a guy is honest, and tells her he is interested, or thinks she is particularly pretty on a certain day, etc because her ex paid her no compliments at all. So, keeping this in mind, I told her flat out I felt like we connected extremely well and that she was an incredibly beautiful girl, and I hope something comes of us. She smiled, said thanks, and gave me a big hug. AWESOME.

Date three. She comes back on a Saturday night, and asks if I want to do something on Sunday. Now, I am not a Sunday person. I typically spend Sunday in a ratty pair of shorts, doing laundry, cleaning, and all around not leaving the house and getting ready for the week. Well, she asks if I would like to do something. I was honest, and told her I was kind of a bum on Sundays, but what did she have in mind. She wanted to go to the museum. Well, ok then, lets go! So I pick her up, and we go to the museum. Have a great time, held hands and talked about all the different artwork, our favorite works of all time, etc. We then walked down the street to the Rothko Chapel (Google it, really cool) hand in hand, just enjoying a great day. At the end, I walk her to her car, get a hug and kiss on the cheek, and go on my way.

Monday evening I send her a text telling her how much fun I had, blah blah blah. No response. Tuesday I don't hear from her again, I try to call. No answer. This went on for a few days, until I got the point. For whatever reason she never responded to any of my texts or phone calls. She was still on POF.com, I saw her online there a few times, but yeah, never got an explanation. It really fucked with me, because the girl really was an "out of my league" type, and had me buying into that shit.

[Lisa]

It really fucked with me, because the girl really was an "out of my league" type, and had me buying into that shit.

Well, true, she is "out of your league" because you're a cool, awesome guy, and she was clearly a thoughtless bitch who didn't even have the decency to break up with you face to face. Remember - "Out of your league" doesn't always have to mean "she's too good for you."

[Shit Dickface]

After accidentally thumbing through a picture of myself and the ex the other night, I was informed that I was out of her league. Ha.

[Lisa]

After accidentally thumbing through a picture of myself and the ex the other night, I was informed that I was out of her league. Ha.

Wait, what? Who the fuck said that to you?

[Shit Dickface]

Wait, what? Who the fuck said that to you?

Roommate's friend. I was like "wtf" at first but then she was like "No I meant that as a compliment to you."

She was drunk, so I'll chalk that up to beer goggles.

[B_Metal]

They even go ass to mouth...

and by ass to mouth, I mean putting it in her friend's ass, then putting it in her mouth.

God bless the G.O.P.!

DAMNIT. WHY NOT ME?!?!?!

He'll go ATM on you too, just be patient.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *takes deep breath* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I just lost part of my Route 44 Cherry Slush.

Mine was a Barq's, only 20 oz though you thirsty bastard.

[Lesley]

Subject Line: Thar She Blows

36-year-old man -- Minneapolis, MN
- seeking women 18-37
- Relationships: Divorce

'In my own words'

For Fun: I like dance like a futuristic bird, sing random melodies and eat rasberry pies.
My job: I am a bariatric surgeon
Favorite Hot spots: the bar on 50th st
Favorite things: raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens Brown paper packages tied up with strings These are a few of my favorite things
Last read: Instruction manual on how to use my toothbrush.
About my life and what I'm look for: I'm best described as friendly with a sense of great adventure. It may take a little while to get to know me, but once you are a friend you are a friend for life. I am stable, intelligent/curious about the world, confident, attractive, honest in all of my actions. I'm looking for someone who shares many of the same qualities and is seeking a long term relationship. I am ready to settle into a comfortable life with the right woman and I have a great deal to offer emotionally and spiritually.

Hair: black
Eyes: brown
Exercise habits: Exercise 5 or more times a week
Education: PhD
Occupation: Medical

[Lisa]

Roommate's friend. I was like "wtf" at first but then she was like "No I meant that as a compliment to you."

She was drunk, so I'll chalk that up to beer goggles.

Oh, okay. I was gonna ask if you wanted a short, middle-aged admin assistant to fly out and beat her up for you, but that's okay then!

For Fun: I like dance like a futuristic bird, sing random melodies and eat rasberry pies.
Favorite things: raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens Brown paper packages tied up with strings These are a few of my favorite things
Last read: Instruction manual on how to use my toothbrush.
About my life and what I'm look for: I'm best described as friendly with a sense of great adventure. It may take a little while to get to know me, but once you are a friend you are a friend for life. I am stable, intelligent/curious about the world, confident, attractive, honest in all of my actions. I'm looking for someone who shares many of the same qualities and is seeking a long term relationship. I am ready to settle into a comfortable life with the right woman and I have a great deal to offer emotionally and spiritually.

Y'know, the fun part of his ad wasn't bad. Cute ad, seems to have a good sense of humor. And then he lost me - that whole "curious about the world, great deal to offer emotionally and spiritually" is a crock, man. I saw that exact wording about a hundred times when I was doing this. It's pretty much copy and paste from the ads of a dozen other men.

[B_Metal]

But what if THIS GUY is the one who really means it Lisa. GOD YOU'RE SO CYNICAL. Lulz.