What Emmanuelle Movie Did You Just Watch?

[Matt]

It's better than F8 and H/S (not high bars on either) but holy cow...

I mean, the franchise gave up on resembling 'reality' several entries ago, but this entry really just says 'fuck it' and just goes for it. Questionable plotting is blatantly handwaved away with a few lines of dialog to keep things going, resulting in some real logic bombs. If you can dial into the film's wavelength, you'll have a good time (and the film is pretty funny, sometimes unintentionally) but you really need to get yourself into a MOONRAKER state of mind. I was entertained but I also felt stupider when the credits rolled.

It'll be interesting to see how this entry is regarded in a few years. I think it'll be pretty polarizing with a lot of 'love it/hate it' opinions going around.

[Abraham Smashington]

Did they finally fix the bullshit with Shaw and Han and how no one in the "family" seemed to give a shit that Shaw was working with them?

[BillyG]

Midsommar

Still really like this a whole lot. The boyfriend is even shittier than I remember. I had forgotten Chidi from Good Place is one of the leads.

[Matt]

Did they finally fix the bullshit with Shaw and Han and how no one in the "family" seemed to give a shit that Shaw was working with them?

Not really but there's a mid-credits scene that starts that dialog.

Honestly, the plot gymnastics required to bring back Han work well enough. There's a lot of ret-conning of prior stuff but there's enough there that you go 'OK, I'll buy that' and move on. The whole Han situation is the least of the film's logic problems, though.

Oh, another thing: did something happen to Lucas Black? He's actually in this more than I expected and his appearance is kinda shocking. I was like...is THAT him? Until he spoke, I wasn't sure if he was a new character or not. Be prepared.

[Abraham Smashington]

hmmms, maybe I'll rent it. I really did not enjoy the last one and know I'm in the minority.

[BillyG]

Naw. You're not in the minority. 8 is not good. Like, it's fine, but it's bottom of the list with 4.

[Matt]

You're not in the minority at all on F8. I think almost everyone regards it as one of the worst entries in the franchise.

[Abraham Smashington]

Maybe i just give Jersh too much credit for his love. I assumed people dug that one. I was so goddamn bored and didn't give any shits. I liked Hobbs and Shaw more and even that was not great.

[BillyG]

Hobbs and Shaw is bad, but the leads have charisma. Trying to force the charisma suck of the Eastwood kid in F8 fucking ruined that movie.

[Matt]

Eastwood was bad but he was the least of F8's problems.

[B_Metal]

Maybe i just give Jersh too much credit for his love. I assumed people dug that one. I was so goddamn bored and didn't give any shits. I liked Hobbs and Shaw more and even that was not great.

I will admit 8 is not in my top three, I'm just not expecting high art with these and they usually entertain me.

[BillyG]

Fear Street 1994

This is actually...fucking awesome? I had pretty low expectations because I was JUST old enough to miss all the RL Stine shit. I was already into my Scary Stories to Tell in The Dark and then real horror movies and shit by the time these books were getting pumped out. So I expected a kind of cheap and shitty teen horror that is more PG than even PG13. NOPE. This movie isn't pulling any punches. The monster designs are really good without being totally over the top. The kills are bloody, and one in particular is gnarly as hell. We were cracking up because we just couldn't believe they DID that kill. And the teaser leading to Fear Street 1978 was really cool, and teased a bunch of new monsters. Cannot wait to watch that one next week.

Also, we gotta talk about the music budget and picks. Some of maybe the clothing picks and stuff didn't nail the 90s aesthetic, but they picked PERFECT music all the way through and I would listen to that playlist on a loop. Any movie picking two tracks from Astro Creep 2000 is a thumbs up from me.

[Matt]

THE TOMORROW WAR

It's very dumb. It's overlong. It's derivative of about 5 other films (INDEPENDENCE DAY and EDGE OF TOMORROW especially). It's not very well acted.

BUT...I still had a modicum of fun with it. There are some pretty well done sequences in the film (Pratt's arrival in 2051 along with the escape from Miami) to help increase the enjoyment factor and the overall premise is pretty cool. The opening 20 minutes are pretty rough and the final 15 minutes are REALLY rough, but there's enough good in there to have some big dumb fun.

This SHOULD have starred Gerard Butler in full Mike Banning mode.

[Abraham Smashington]

The Tomorrow War was the best 1998 movie to come out in 2021. Every beat is telegraphed WAY in advance, some of the logic is screwy as fuck, Pratt was miscast, BUT it was a bunch of fun. That fucking ending was worth it IMO. Silly as fuck but goddamn if I wasn't hyped.

[Abraham Smashington]

Also, J.K. Simmons is back to Vern Schillinger fighting weight. Dude was PRISON JACKED in that movie.