What Emmanuelle Movie Did You Just Watch?

[Ingrid]

Watching Night at the Museum 3 again. It's amazing how much my daughter sounds like Atilla the Hun. "Regu Philbo?"

[Anderson]

LOVE Return of the Living Dead! From the Tar Man to Trash's striptease to Uneeda Medical Supply and damn near everything else, that movie fucking rocked.

The ending blew my mind as a 10 year old.

[FilmNerdJamie]

Southpaw is a strong contender for one of my worst of the year.

Ana and I had a coin flip over what to see one particular afternoon; that or American Ultra. We're still not sure the coin made the right call.

[gravedigger]

Neither of those seem like a good option, Jamie.

American Ultra was The Pineapple Identity, right?

[Anderson]

Neither of those seem like a good option, Jamie.

American Ultra was The Pineapple Identity, right?

American Ultra actually had tone and consistency. Southpaw was nothing more than grimdark Rocky.

[B_Metal]

Grimdark Rocky should have been the title. The more I think about it, the only think good about it was Rachel McAdams being sexy as fuck.

[FilmNerdJamie]

Neither of those seem like a good option, Jamie.

American Ultra was The Pineapple Identity, right?

It was marketed as that, yes. But wasn't at all.

[Trejo]

Insidious 3

Yeah, these movies are lowest common denominator, let's get that out of the way. I don't even like the franchise. The first one was no classic but had just enough creepyness/originality to stand out from what was coming out at the time. The second one was absolutely awful. Laughable. I watched it with the GF and we spent the first half of the movie heckling it, and the last half bored to tears. I'm going into FULL spoiler mode now:

Third one is also not great, but has it's moments. The whole story is half-baked - where the fuck is the mom the entire film when they are trying to communicate with her, she literally shows up at the last second to save the day, yet they establish in a flashback that she has been watching the daughter since her audition wayyy earlier. Fuck you mom. The whole family is one giant stereotype - obnoxious younger brother, artsy nerd daughter who wants to be an actress, single dad struggling to keep up.

It became a running joke for me and the gf that the old medium lady would keep quitting her fucking job every scene. Literally, "no sorry I cant help you talk to your mom I quit... oookay I'll help you. Oh no a scary ghost! Sorry I have to quit. Oh, but wait, I'll try one more time to help! Eeeeek! I quit for realsies!" over and over. The pre-ending with the fucking cutsie "you boys stop fighting now, say, let's start a business!" was terribad, but even worse was the GOD AWFUL cgi jump-scare attempt shoehorned in at the very end just to tie it back to the original. Doesn't even make sense in the context of the series, and the scene was actually kind of unsettling just before this happens which makes it even worse.

It has one of the lamest horror movie moments I've ever seen when the old lady HEADBUTTS a fucking ghost and then shouts something like 'come at me bitch!'.. grooooan.. Dont even get me started on her throwing the main demon/spirit thing around like a punk bitch. She is scared shitless of these things the whole film until an old dude shows up and reminds her that she's a living person and then she goes back all John Rambo. OK.

All that said though, there are a handful of scenes that are incredibly chilling and effective that make me sad for the missed opportunity this thing was. The shadow man who waves at the girl before her audition and on the street afterwards was super creepy, along with most everything in the apartment upstairs. The absolute stand-out scene is when the man who cant breathe appears in her room, in broad daylight behind a curtain, violently throws her out of bed, and while she's laying there completely helpless yet aware, it slowly goes around the room closing curtains, the bedroom door, and finally her laptop to extinguish all light in the room before assaulting her. It had a rapey vibe which was actually pretty upsetting, and the whole scene was really well done start to finish. If the rest of the movie was half as good as this it would be easy to recommend.

Verdict: This is mostly bad, full of loud, obvious jumpscares and dumb plotting, but still blows #2 out of the fucking water

[Abraham Smashington]

the first was ruined by lack of budget in the last 15 mins. Second was balls. Lesley has been asking to watch this. You have fully made it so she's on her own.

[Trejo]

the first was ruined by lack of budget in the last 15 mins. Second was balls. Lesley has been asking to watch this. You have fully made it so she's on her own.

Hell, it's worth it to watch until after the skype scene with the girls. Feel free to peace out of the room after that as it's all downhill.

[Abraham Smashington]

I know I'll be forced to watch it, but now I know how bad it is. I owe you a beer if you ever make it to MN or I ever end up in CanadiaLand

[Martin]

Insidious 3

Yeah, these movies are lowest common denominator, let's get that out of the way. I don't even like the franchise. The first one was no classic but had just enough creepyness/originality to stand out from what was coming out at the time. The second one was absolutely awful. Laughable. I watched it with the GF and we spent the first half of the movie heckling it, and the last half bored to tears. I'm going into FULL spoiler mode now:

Third one is also not great, but has it's moments. The whole story is half-baked - where the fuck is the mom the entire film when they are trying to communicate with her, she literally shows up at the last second to save the day, yet they establish in a flashback that she has been watching the daughter since her audition wayyy earlier. Fuck you mom. The whole family is one giant stereotype - obnoxious younger brother, artsy nerd daughter who wants to be an actress, single dad struggling to keep up.

It became a running joke for me and the gf that the old medium lady would keep quitting her fucking job every scene. Literally, "no sorry I cant help you talk to your mom I quit... oookay I'll help you. Oh no a scary ghost! Sorry I have to quit. Oh, but wait, I'll try one more time to help! Eeeeek! I quit for realsies!" over and over. The pre-ending with the fucking cutsie "you boys stop fighting now, say, let's start a business!" was terribad, but even worse was the GOD AWFUL cgi jump-scare attempt shoehorned in at the very end just to tie it back to the original. Doesn't even make sense in the context of the series, and the scene was actually kind of unsettling just before this happens which makes it even worse.

It has one of the lamest horror movie moments I've ever seen when the old lady HEADBUTTS a fucking ghost and then shouts something like 'come at me bitch!'.. grooooan.. Dont even get me started on her throwing the main demon/spirit thing around like a punk bitch. She is scared shitless of these things the whole film until an old dude shows up and reminds her that she's a living person and then she goes back all John Rambo. OK.

All that said though, there are a handful of scenes that are incredibly chilling and effective that make me sad for the missed opportunity this thing was. The shadow man who waves at the girl before her audition and on the street afterwards was super creepy, along with most everything in the apartment upstairs. The absolute stand-out scene is when the man who cant breathe appears in her room, in broad daylight behind a curtain, violently throws her out of bed, and while she's laying there completely helpless yet aware, it slowly goes around the room closing curtains, the bedroom door, and finally her laptop to extinguish all light in the room before assaulting her. It had a rapey vibe which was actually pretty upsetting, and the whole scene was really well done start to finish. If the rest of the movie was half as good as this it would be easy to recommend.

Verdict: This is mostly bad, full of loud, obvious jumpscares and dumb plotting, but still blows #2 out of the fucking water

Was it as bad as the Rangers getting killed by the Habs yesterday?

[Abraham Smashington]

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hh

[Trejo]

Was it as bad as the Rangers getting killed by the Habs yesterday?

wtf martin

[Martin]