Theory: 90% of XBL gamers are very angry closeted homosexuals

[gravedigger]

I know this isn't a groundbreaking idea but I can seriously think of no other reason why some of the shitheads on Live are so virulently enraged about homosexuals. I've been playing with a lot of randoms in MW2 lately and whenever a team gets rocked hardcore the winners always say, "HOLY FUCK I totally just stuck my <penis euphemism of choice> in your <orifice of choice> and <molestation euphemism of choice> you HARD. Fucking n00bs!"

I don't understand why this is necessary. Games are supposed to be fun. I can get trash talking a little bit between buddies but all the random idiots? It's ridiculous.

I believe this signifies the start of my transition into an old man.

[Abraham Smashington]

"Damn kids with their bippin' and their boppin..'"

Just one of the many reasons I never have my headset in if I'm not playing with you guys.

[B_Metal]

Yeah I have adopted robs rule of no headset with randoms. I know you guys give me shit for being the angry gamer but some of the asshole kids make me look like mr. Rodgers.

[Shit Dickface]

My very first XBox Live multiplayer experience was on TF2 where I was headshotted twice by some little squeaky-voiced shithead and subsequently called "faggot" and "stupid nigger" in the span of like five minutes.

I reacted much the way that Danny did in The Shining whenever he saw the ghosts/visions, and haven't really done much multiplayer since.

[patronsaintofcheeseburgers]

"Damn kids with their bippin' and their boppin..'"

Just one of the many reasons I never have my headset in if I'm not playing with you guys.

This...I honestly get mad irritated listening to mother fuckers on there. The one time I jumped in on some shit talking, my wife heard me and looked at me like I was a fucking idiot.

The best is the 12 year olds barely cracking puberty who are talking about rape and this and that....I asked him if he had any dick hair and if his dick even got hard yet...he got silent and left the room. I won.

[B_Metal]

BigB asks 12 year olds about their dicks and dick hairs. Lulz.


We win.

[gravedigger]

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[Captain Russ]

In my better days, I'd usually be too drunk to care.

These days, however, the mute feature is the saving grace in most multi-player scenarios.

Also: Bryan has Danny from The Shining in his crawlspace.

[Ed Hocken]

I don't know if this is a recent thing but there's been a real obsession on the part of male youth about male genitalia. Far beyond standard dick-swinging.

[B_Metal]

If we're Hockentown, Xbox Live is Planet Hocken.

[Shit Dickface]

I don't know if this is a recent thing but there's been a real obsession on the part of male youth about male genitalia. Far beyond standard dick-swinging.

It's not recent, definitely. Most dudes are secretly (and not so secretly) obsessed with their dicks, which can eventually extend to other dudes' dicks. So we're all projecting all over each other's dicks.

[Captain Russ]

We're gonna need a bigger boat.