What are the worst video games you ever played?

[Ari]

Ugh, Tournament Fighters was so fucking awful.

Goldeneye: Rogue Agent was played by me for about 5 minutes until I realized I wanted to rape my eyes out of their sockets with Dennis Rodman's wang.

[Captain Russ]

Kabuki for the NES.

A side-scroller where, get this fucking crazy-ass shit: you play as a caked makeup-wearing Asian fella and your weapon is...ah hell...YOU USE YOUR FUCKING HAIR AS A WHIP!

Everyone else has guns that kill the dick out of you, and you get up in their bidness with a flourish of Vidal Sassoon.

Yeah. Retarded as hell. Even more retarded than the fact we never got a decent sequel to Burger Time.

[Ari]

A Boy and His Blob = ASSASSASSASSASSASSASS

[Abraham Smashington]

Exactly.

I'mma throw Monster Party in here as well. Fuck that stupid fucking game.

[patronsaintofcheeseburgers]

Goldeneye: Rogue Agent was played by me for about 5 minutes until I realized I wanted to rape my eyes out of their sockets with Dennis Rodman's wang.

I got pretty far in this game...and then there was the impossible Lotus Submarine level...After about 4 hours of trying to get through that level. I pulled out the game. Went to GameStop and traded it for something.

[Ari]

Street Fighter: The Movie.

It's a video game based on a movie based on a video game. Epically awful.

[Abraham Smashington]

But it's the only game to allow you to play as Raul Julia.

[Ari]

Wasn't there an awful Addams Family video game (Besides Fester's Quest)?

[Abraham Smashington]

Yeah, but it wasn't a digitized Raul Julia.

Also, FESTERS QUEST is the end all be all of this thread.

[Ari]

Fester's was one of the first Nintendo games I ever owned. I used to spend hours leveling up so my gun was more powerful, just to die halfway through the first level. Fuck this stupid loaf of a game.

[Captain Russ]

I'd like to also throw Deadly Towers in the Ring of Diseased Anusgames.

I rented it when I was a kid because swords were awesome. And the dude on the cover had a sword.

Lo and behold, I must thank this game for giving me the first couple of white streaks of hair on my head. I was six.

And it helped to form the misanthropy I continue to embrace to this day. So in at least one positive turn, I became the sarcastic asshole I am today because of this game.

[Captain Russ]

I'd also like to put World of Warcraft on the list.

It is bad. Not in terms of quality, as it is still a well-designed game with much for the player to accomplish.

It is bad because it is the crack-dealing nerd devil and (warning:bizarre metaphor ahead)is the cyanide capsule hidden in the tooth of your social life. It kills it. Dead. And hygiene has a capsule built into his molar too.

I almost went and bought the new expansion, but realized all I'd end up doing was become a Harry Knowles-sized person whose vocabulary would regress to that of a ten year old. Instead I stuck to console gaming and am a bit more well adjusted for it.

So fuck this game and its ilk for highlighting my MMO-addicted personality.

[bprice57]

Deus Ex 2 for the xbox. I bought this game and was so amped because i dug the first one so much but brought it home and just about threw the game out the window.

[Abraham Smashington]

That game was a big pile of fail. I was so dissapointed.

[bprice57]

and what about parappa the rappa, or whatever that stupid ass game was called. When I was a kid i hated that game, but one of my buddies loved it for whatever reason, and it became the source of a couple of fights. I just could not stand that game...