Ruined Food/Meals

[Martin]

Teriyaki ANYTHING. Can't stand the taste of it anymore. I can't remember what the turning point WAS on it, but it was sure decisive.

I'll never forget going to one of those Benihana type restaurants (called Osaka, here in Eden Prairie) about 9 months ago and ordering the salmon. I noticed on the menu that it said that it had teriyaki on it, and I explicitly told the waitress and the fucking cook that I did NOT want any fucking teriyaki sauce on it. So...what happens? He cooks up the salmon filet perfectly (oh God does that look good) and then grabs the sauce and pours it all over it. FUCK was I pissed. I told the guy (who apparently didn't understand me but merely nodded) that I didn't want the fucking sauce. He tried to put it on my plate and I stopped him...make me another and get it right this time. He wasn't pleased, and neither was the waitress who came over to 'assist' with the matter...neither was one of the other guests sitting at our table (an obnoxious cunt bitch) who did nothing but complain about the salmon smell the entire time that my meal was being cooked. FUCK YOU, CUNT (my wife and I hated her and her hipster friends who were 'too cool' to be there).

So yeah. Teriyaki. Can't stand it.

Why did you seat with a cunt bitch?

[Lisa]

Never EVER sit with cunt bitches when your food is at stake!

[Ed Hocken]

Sitting with a bitch is one thing, but a cunt bitch? Well, that's a horse of a different color.

[Matt]

It's who we got stuck with when they seated our table: Me and my wife, 3 hipsters (including the cunt bitch), an empty seat, and another couple. The 3 hipsters were 'way too cool' for the table and were complete douchebags. I almost yelled at the cunt bitch to shut up with her bitching about the salmon while it was cooking.

[Ed Hocken]

(Envisions Matt with Eastwood voice™)

"Listen here Missy, if you don't shut the fuck up about the salmon. I will stab you in the eye with this chopstick. Now I know what you're thinking. Did I use this on the miso or sweet n'sour soup? Well, due to all of your bitching I couldn't remember. So you've just got to ask yourself one question? You really wanna piss me off? Well, do ya...cunt?"

[Lisa]

(Envisions Matt with Eastwood voice™)

"Listen here Missy, if you don't shut the fuck up about the salmon. I will stab you in the eye with this chopstick. Now I know what you're thinking. Did I use this on the miso or sweet n'sour soup? Well, due to all of your bitching I couldn't remember. So you've just got to ask yourself one question? You really wanna piss me off? Well, do ya...cunt?"

Oh, REP, bunny! Especially the "Well, do ya... cunt?" part!

[Ed Hocken]

How Matt hasn't gone out as Dirty Harry for Halloween is anyone's guess.

[Matt]

How Matt hasn't gone out as Dirty Harry for Halloween is anyone's guess.

I've gone out as the 'Man with No Name' before. I've got the entire costume, including a sarape, and it fucking ROCKS.

[V]

Think I'll go out as 47 this year...

[Martin]

Vin should go out as half John Matrix and half John Rambo. And go deal with the cunt bitches that annoyed Matt's salmon.

[V]

Hmmmm...

When I see all those people who do '1/2 man-1/2 woman' costumes, I realize that this could indeed be feasible.

The more I think of it, the more I like it.