Tales of the IT Guy

[gravedigger]

Okay, so let me preface this by saying I'm actually not an IT guy. But I'm dangerous enough with a computer that people ask me for help, etc. I've had to answer a lot of stupid questions but today took the cake. I hate to use "retard" as a pejorative but this lady might have been retarded.

I man the booth for a photographer who shoots at certain barrel races my wife competes in. It basically consists of uploading photos into a photo viewer and taking orders. Today a lady wanted to look at her picture so I told her to click on it. She said she couldn't click on it because the "thingy" couldn't get to the picture. Why couldn't the "thingy" get to the picture? Because she had pushed the mouse against the laptop and had no idea she was supposed to pick up the mouse and set it down away from the obstruction to continue rolling.

Now, I realize not everyone has a computer, blah blah. But come on...

So, yeah, I know a lot of you nerds are IT guys. Spill your most facepalming stories here. I enjoy the stupidity of others.

[Phat Dizaztr]

Thats greatness. I wish I could have been there to watch her act like a caveman.

I work in a call center as tech support for a web store company. So from time to time I get some knee slappers but no real facepalmers. If I do I now know where to post them.

[Abraham Smashington]

I work with a program called Blackboard (it's an online learning platform). We had a student that couldn't log in. She said she had used her username and password and no go. I thought that was odd, so we asked her what she did to login. Turns out she took a piece of chalk and wrote on her computer monitor. NO JOKE.

[B_Metal]

I work with a program called Blackboard (it's an online learning platform). We had a student that couldn't log in. She said she had used her username and password and no go. I thought that was odd, so we asked her what she did to login. Turns out she took a piece of chalk and wrote on her computer monitor. NO JOKE.

Was she really old or something? That's just stupid. Lulz

[Nathan]

I'm sure the standard story would involve either the machine being turned off or unplugged.

[Abraham Smashington]

That one's a given. I get that weekly.

[Abraham Smashington]

Was she really old or something? That's just stupid. Lulz

Nope, just dumb.

[B_Metal]

Nope, just dumb.

Damn, that takes a special kind of dumb though.

[Howard]

I don't work in IT, but like gravedigger know enough to be considered dangerous. As such, I am definitely the goto guy for my office (IT isn't located onsite). 99% of the time, the problem is located between the keyboard and the chair.

[nerdious dorkus]

I'm in the same boat as grave and Howard.

While not as bad as Rob's story, there was one person that was whining about the text size on a website and another person commented that they had no power on the text size. Facepalmed myself and then proceeded to advise that text could be changed via the browser.

[B_Metal]

I don't work in IT, but like gravedigger know enough to be considered dangerous. As such, I am definitely the goto guy for my office (IT isn't located onsite). 99% of the time, the problem is located between the keyboard and the chair.

I'm in the same boat as grave and Howard.

While not as bad as Rob's story, there was one person that was whining about the text size on a website and another person commented that they had no power on the text size. Facepalmed myself and then proceeded to advise that text could be changed via the browser.

It's funny that we all seem to be the go-to guy for CPU stuff at works as I seem to be the one at my job. They had to call IT one time because our DVD's from interviews at the advocasy center weren't working. Before they could get to the office I had showed everyone in the office how to get Windows media player to play .vob files.

I had to print out type written instructions because they kept asking how to do it and I swear it's like a three click process.

[gravedigger]

Oh yeah, any time the real IT people send out instructions on something that needs to be updated on our computers they always attach 20-page sets of instructions with screen grabs and the whole bit. Everyone else in the office prints them out.

I think I can claim intellectual high ground because I know when you do and do not have to double-click on something. EVERYONE here double-clicks hyperlinks. It drives me nuts.

[Abraham Smashington]

I have to make those fucking instructions. I HATE IT.

[B_Metal]

I have to make those fucking instructions. I HATE IT.

Oh you poor bastard.

[Abraham Smashington]

Seriously. for something that takes less than a minute to actually do, it takes me hours to create the instructions so every moron can properly update their goddamn class.