Porn actor kills with sword

[Ed Hocken]

From my own hometown, comes this story.

[Lisa]

Kills with a "sword"!! A "SWORD"!!!! GET IT???

[Ed Hocken]

There are conflicting reports as to whether or not it was a machete or a samurai sword.

[Abraham Smashington]

I thought it was a prop?

[Lisa]

There are conflicting reports as to whether or not it was a machete or a samurai sword.

I thought it was a prop?

Both of you! A "SWORD"! PORN!!

[Ed Hocken]

Did I say it was a "Meat Sword"?

[Lisa]

This is what I'm saying!

[Martin]

There are conflicting reports as to whether or not it was a machete or a samurai sword.

Danny Trejo does porn? Can this guy be more awesome?

[Ed Hocken]

Not sure, but the actor's name is Steven Hill. So therefore, the old DA from Law & Order has been doing porn.

[Lisa]

Not sure, but the actor's name is Steven Hill. So therefore, the old DA from Law & Order has been doing porn.

Yikes - not good! I've seen old man porn - not only is it not pretty, but it takes forever for the old fucker to get hard. You could waste A LOT of time waiting for the money shot in that film clip.

[Ed Hocken]

Good lord, Lisa! How did you not go sterile after watching that?

[Lisa]

Well, it doesn't matter since I never wanted kids. You should ask how I never went blind after watching that! Have I mentioned how everything is just a blur now?

[Ed Hocken]

Well, that does explain the coke bottle glasses you got on.

[Captain Russ]

Porno Gil's Highlander days are over.

[Martin]

And the video of The Highlander being tasered off the cliff!