Cage Match: Man (and Woman) vs. Nature

[Shit Dickface]

What's the toughest animal that you think you could take in a cage fight, and why?

[Shit Dickface]

I could probably make my way through a lot of pissed-off, big domesticated dogs and probably a few coyotes, but if I got face-to-face with a wolf I'd probably be fucked. it'd be close. Someone elsewhere mentioned orangutan but that's bullshit because those things will eat your penis right in front of your single remaining eye as you bleed to death from having an arm ripped from its socket.

[Lisa]

I think I'd win up against maybe a bigger domesticated dog, like maybe, maaaaybe, a German Shepherd, but certainly nothing bigger or tougher than that. If that.

[Timothy225]

I've fought off monkeys with a pan and broom in the back of a moving Ford truck. While screaming in panic. I CAN DO IT AGAIN!!

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[BillyG]

I fought off a doberman once, courtesy of a well timed boot to the face. I think I might be able to hold my own against a big filthy dog, if I knew it was coming. If it snuck up on me a pit bull would leave me like...



EDIT: Can't wait for Vin to show up and tell us how he breaks into the zoo to fight tigers so he can "keep his edge."

[V]

No... but if you're nice to me, I'll teach you how to kill attack dogs with only your hands.

[BillyG]

According to CoD you time pressing A and snap its neck.

[Shit Dickface]

No... but if you're nice to me, I'll teach you how to kill attack dogs with only your hands.

PM me, just in case I ever need it. Does it involve strangling them by basically feeding them your own hand, like I've heard of before?

[Ingrid]

A medium sized dog? Or maybe a racoon.

[PHEDG]

Anything that I could smash up against a wall or crush on the ground I could probably kill with the weight and power of my wheelchair. If it can jump up on my head and envenomate or suffocate me, I'm toast.

I assume this is hand-to-hand combat with no weapons or armor? Or are we talking Thunderdome?

[V]

If you're going against a trained dog... you're getting bit. No way around that, sorry to say. So when suppressed pistols are not in your loadout, then do the following.

You simply take one hand and grip the animal by the throat. Once you do that, you squeeze, pull, and twist. When you feel something like a snapping piece of celery, you've done it. Breaking an active dog's neck is next to impossible, so the next best thing is breaking it's windpipe... which is what you now know how to do.

[BillyG]

Any truth behind what Jake said? I've heard people say before as well to jam your fist down it's throat so it's can't bite, but then I can't see you being able to effectively neutralize the dog.

[Shit Dickface]

What Billy said, basically. I did the same shit when I was attacked by a dog as a kid - I was 13 and got attacked by my granddad's Red Heeler, and I basically punched the fuck out of it and eventually stuffed my hand down his throat after the cunt stopped eating my legs. After the hand thing the dog was trying to get away from me ASAP but he couldn't because I was strangling that fucking fuckhole to death. My granddad got super pissed at me, but that piece of shit was attacking me so I just did whatever seemed best. He ended up having to take that piece of shit out and shoot him, but I wish I could have crunched that fuckhole's throat with my own bare hands. Jesus christ I hated that dog.

[Ed Hocken]

In the case of me? None, unless I have a gun.

[BillyG]

In the case of me? None, unless I have a gun.

Are you experienced with a gun? Because if not, then in an adrenaline filled life/death situation it is probably worthless.

You fall down to your training, you never rise to the occasion.