Best Avatars

[Matt]

where's that 'cooking with semen' book when you need it????? Martin?????

[Bobby Bear]

FOCUS, BOBBY!

Don't get starry-eyed here! You know what needs doing! You have the tools to do it. You're cool, you play bass, you are the nicest person ever!

Go get her!

So much excitement. Must. Remain. Calm.

I concur - find out exactly what makes the girl's current boyfriend a tool, and do the opposite. Show some style, dude! Be a proper gent around her (hold the door open for her, pull out her chair so she can sit down better, etc.), serenade her with your bass licks, woo the hell out of her. Be Robert Romance! Get her heart all a-flutter! And most important - LISTEN to her, especially if she's complaining or kvetching about something. Don't offer any advice, though, unless she asks for it. Girls dig that stuff, it also shows 'em how mature and understanding you are. Good luck, Bob! From the last post, it sounds like you might get that green light soon!

Back on topic: is it time for me to retire Ten Bears? Opinions?

I'm not just saying it, but it feels like that's exactly what I've been doing all along since we first became friends! She really instigated the friendship. I just assumed she was another girl from work who never gave me a second thought but it became clear pretty soon we had a lot in common and got on very well together.

I'd like to see "Ten Bears" granted a contract extension.

Must defeat her seven evil exes! She says you're Scott and Ramona because she wants you to defeat her ex!!! As in - this guy will be her ex once you move in with the sweetness! DOO ITT!!! She wants you to, trust me!

What's the shy guy version of "squee!" - ?

What more evidence does one need?

DO IT!

If it seems at all like I'm missing something very obvious, believe me when I say that none of my doubt or skepticism is false or in any way exaggerated. It's been that long since I've really cared about anyone that I don't want to jump to any conclusions.

We've both paid each other plenty of compliments. Every one of mine were completely honest and in no way an attempt to curry favour. She deserves every word.

Plus, when we were out on Saturday night with the ones from work, one of the other girls said "Isn't he (meaning me) cute?" - right in front of me - and she said yes. I've been yo-yo'ing as to whether or not that was just being nice ever since.

[V]

what did you cook for the divorce(s)?

They got coupons for Whataburger and a boot in the ass...

[Abraham Smashington]

Can anyone guess what my signature meal is made with?

Semen?

GALLONS OF SEMEN!!!

where's that 'cooking with semen' book when you need it????? Martin?????

I COOK WITH LOVE YOU PERVERTS. LOVE!

and a tiny bit of semen.

[Lisa]

What's the shy guy version of "squee!" - ?

No time to find out! Just "SQUEEEE!" along with me, and plot your next move!

Plus, when we were out on Saturday night with the ones from work, one of the other girls said "Isn't he (meaning me) cute?" - right in front of me - and she said yes. I've been yo-yo'ing as to whether or not that was just being nice ever since.

YAAAAAYYY!!!!! SHE THINKS YOU'RE CUTE!! Okay, this is obvious, but you guys are Jim and Pam, and her jerk boyfriend is Roy! Trust me, just casually suggest getting something to eat while you're out hanging around, take her someplace cute - not overly fabulous and "Datey", but just really fun. And then offer to cook her dinner if she wants! And she'll WANT, buddy, she will!

[Martin]

where's that 'cooking with semen' book when you need it????? Martin?????

Ah yeah. THAT book.

[V]

Bobby... and the rest of you,

"Damn Right I'm Getting Oral After Dinner" pasta

1 pound linguine, angel hair, or whatever string pasta blows your skirt up
1/2 cup olive oil
1 tsp kosher salt
2 dried red chiles, diced
4 cloves crushed garlic

Heat oil in saute pan. Add garlic, salt, and chilies. Keep heat on medium until garlic turns opaque. Remove from heat.

While all that shit commences, boil your pasta to al dente. Drain, but reserve a small amount of water.

Add oil sauce to pasta. Mix well. Serve with a baguette, a green salad, and a young red. I'm partial to Beaujolais, but follow your heart.

Bobby... BOBBY! If you can't close escrow with this, brother... then I can't help you

[Martin]

I can vouch for that Bobby. Classic and easy dish.

[nerdious dorkus]

I'm not a buttclown. I just think it's better to ask before you stick it in. Gosh!

[Martin]

If you want a stupid-easy dessert, I can help you out.

[Abraham Smashington]

Bobby... and the rest of you,

"Damn Right I'm Getting Oral After Dinner" pasta

1 pound linguine, angel hair, or whatever string pasta blows your skirt up
1/2 cup olive oil
1 tsp kosher salt
2 dried red chiles, diced
4 cloves crushed garlic

Heat oil in saute pan. Add garlic, salt, and chilies. Keep heat on medium until garlic turns opaque. Remove from heat.

While all that shit commences, boil your pasta to al dente. Drain, but reserve a small amount of water.

Add oil sauce to pasta. Mix well. Serve with a baguette, a green salad, and a young red. I'm partial to Beaujolais, but follow your heart.

Bobby... BOBBY! If you can't close escrow with this, brother... then I can't help you

Not enough semen.

[Martin]

Just check the book I posted about. You would like it. It's real.

[V]

I can vouch for that Bobby. Classic and easy dish.

And it only TASTES expensive!

For everything including wine?

$15-17 US.

For you?

10-12 quid, tops.

[Abraham Smashington]

Just check the book I posted about. You would like it. It's real.

Oh I know.

[Matt]

nice recipe, Vin. Gonna try that on my wife. I've already got a 'Kneepad Pasta' dish, but that one sounds mighty tasty.