Damn that Shredder

[Ari]

So there I am, sitting on the couch getting ready to watch Oprah when BLAMMO!, power goes out. I trek out to the power box cause the boys were at April's or some shit, when I see the box is destroyed. Just completely totaled. Underneath the box, a tiny paper shredder with a post-it attached that said, "I did it for the LULZ!"

Seriously, if I ever find that damn Technodrome thing I'm going to piss all over it.

[Ari]

Also, if anyone's seen Venus, please let me know. She's been missing since 1998.

[Abraham Smashington]

I have Venus in a box that Gizmo used to be in. She's my sex slave now.

[Ed Hocken]

You should do what the city did to the Ghostbusters some years ago. Sue the shit out of them.

[Ari]

Fuuuuuuuck! I figured someone would have snagged her for the illegal Asian female turtle sex trafficking trade since it is kinda rare, but a fellow Asian? Never.

Also, if you get her to mate with a mogwai, I get dibs on the first baby.

[Ed Hocken]

Master Splinter: Baby rapist!

[Ari]

Never would I rape a child, you sword welding fruit! I wanna put that mogwai-turtle baby on the street so it can dance and make me some $$$. I need to fix the damn electrical box and Donatello still isn't home.

[Ed Hocken]

I bet that stoner Michaelangeo is there with ya.

[Ari]

Fucker never leaves the house 'cept to go to 7-11.

[Abraham Smashington]

Fuuuuuuuck! I figured someone would have snagged her for the illegal Asian female turtle sex trafficking trade since it is kinda rare, but a fellow Asian? Never.
.

You should know by now that we are all sexual deviants.

[Ari]

Mogwai-turtle babies. Now.

[Abraham Smashington]

I keep trying but my other lover keeps getting in the way.

The other lover:

[Ed Hocken]

Where the fuck is Mikey able to store that weed? The man has no pockets nor wears pants!

[B_Metal]

[Lisa]

Well, Ari, that's what you get for watching "Oprah"!