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  • Just so you know

    According to Dan Savage, my trusted source on all things sex related. Having sex with a a zombie is in fact necrophilia or at least bestilality.

    question in the spirit of the season: Can zombie sex ever be consensual? Because I think if confronted with a zombified Zac Efron, I might go for it if he were properly restrained. Can you teach a zombie a safeword? Does it count if it’s “Braaaains”? It’s not necrophilia with the WALKING dead, is it? What would you say is the sexual morality of this situation?
    Hope In Zombie Zac If Ethical

    If you’d seen Zombieland, HIZZIE, you’d know that a hot person, once transformed into a zombie, isn’t hot anymore. A pretty girl is bitten by a zombie, falls asleep in the arms of Zombieland’s nebbishy hero, and awakes as a thoroughly hideous flesh-eating monster. Even a zombified Zac Efron—I’m going to resist making the obvious joke here—would be too repulsive to fuck. Think of the gore, the viscera; think of the Axe body spray.
    As for the morality of the situation, fucking zombies—the walking dead—is necrophilia, technically speaking, but practically speaking, it comes closer to bestiality. A human being who has been zombified is nothing but an animal, hungry for brains, incapable of thought, much less consent. We can kill animals for their flesh, but we mustn’t fuck them, HIZZIE, and we can kill zombies for wanting our flesh, but likewise we mustn’t fuck them.
    "Everything is amazing right now and no one is happy" - Louis C.K.

  • #2
    Lulz
    "Fuck Rob. Also, he has a podcast called Podcaust. Edgy Holocaust humor lulz indeed." - The Faraci

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    • #3
      I'd still fuck Zombie Rosario. I'd just pull out all of her teeth first. And I'd make sure to have a supersoaker full of KY.
      "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

      "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Rob View Post
        I'd still fuck Zombie Rosario. I'd just pull out all of her teeth first. And I'd make sure to have a supersoaker full of KY.
        OK, I really can't add anything to this.

        /thread
        Originally posted by Martin
        Who the fuck is Kellan Lutz?
        Originally posted by gravedigger
        Basically what I'm saying is that, based on what I've watched so far, we should all listen to Matt more often.
        Originally posted by Martin
        And who the FUCK is Peaches Geldof?
        Kellan Lutz's girlfriend?

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        • #5
          Is decaying flesh, not enough of a lube for you?
          "Everything is amazing right now and no one is happy" - Louis C.K.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Rob View Post
            I'd still fuck Zombie Rosario. I'd just pull out all of her teeth first. And I'd make sure to have a supersoaker full of KY.
            Don't forget the arm-length rubber gloves. For both of you, I mean.
            "Here, young man, your hormones are raging. Let's go in this bedroom, and we'll engage in some homosexual acts. You'll find you like it." - Rep. Ken Peterson, R-Billings

            "You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one." - Don Draper

            ~
            *RATED BEST POSTER OF 2011 - CHIPOTLE FAN FORUMS*~

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            • #7
              If you guys just buy a shovel, you don't have to wait for the Zombie Apocalypse.
              My readers come to me for my thoughts and opinions. I've built myself into a brand


              Click here to visit AndersonVision!

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              • #8
                But Pauline, they wouldn't be zombies. That would just be Necro-Romance.
                "Everything is amazing right now and no one is happy" - Louis C.K.

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                • #9
                  Make sure that's a vagina you're fucking too and not just a decaying open upper thigh absest

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                  • #10
                    And if you do, it's the shed for you.
                    "Everything is amazing right now and no one is happy" - Louis C.K.

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                    • #11
                      "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

                      "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        So where does that leave Mekhi Phifer and his mail-order bride from DotD? And their kid for that matter?

                        As it played out on screen, that would mean that those nearing zombification could have kids almost up to the minute prior to transformation. So those engaging in sexual congress with another party near "death" by extension, what would they fall under in these categories? Would one need to make a new one up?

                        The fact I gave this even a passing thought is sad...
                        Last edited by Captain Russ; 10-15-2009, 01:15 PM.
                        Me quick one want slow

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                        • #13
                          I see you've been using the +10 staff of sad, Russ.
                          "Everything is amazing right now and no one is happy" - Louis C.K.

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                          • #14
                            Quite true, sir. But it is sort of fun to entertain such trivial thoughts as to what the introduction of zombies would do to the cultural landscape.

                            And at least they aren't vampires. Though a zombie world's version of Blade would be hilarious.

                            There I go again...
                            Me quick one want slow

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                            • #15
                              Just go back to drinkin', Russ.
                              "Everything is amazing right now and no one is happy" - Louis C.K.

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