Fortune Cookies

[Howard]

A place to put actual Fortune Cookie fortunes/sayings.

From my lunch today:

"Life is a play. It's not its length, but its performance that counts."

"It is most gratifying when a goal is achieved through one's efforts."

Written by a man with a small penis.

[Abraham Smashington]

I'm the king of getting awesome fortunes. While Lesley always gets the most banal ones there are.

[Lesley]

I always get the ones that say "You have friends."

[Howard]

Those are the ones I usually get. I have the following fortune taped to my monitor at work "The secret to good friends is no secret to you."

[Matt]

You have to remember to add 'under the covers' to the end of each fortune. No matter what it says, 'under the covers' always works.

[Ed Hocken]

This one I keep in my wallet:

"Creating is the greatest proof of being alive."

[Howard]

WTF fortunes with today's lunch.

"Today is probably a huge improvement over yesterday."

Adding "under the covers" to this fortune, WTF.

"Working with children has a miraculous effect on your spirits."

[Abraham Smashington]

lulz.

[Howard]

This one is going into my wallet (for the next time I have lunch with my boss).

Pass the bill to the person of your left.

[Matt]

Pass the bill to the person of your left under the covers.

fixed.

[Ingrid]

We always ended with 'in bed.' And I found an old one today that said something like "You will help a friend in need today."