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I heard on the radio today that we are getting a Smurfs movie, which pisses me off, cause for years I've had a idea brewing in my head for a Smurfs film. So today, my friends, I will share my Smurfs movie with you people.
The Smurfs is a hard R rated film that tells the story of Gargamel, a corrupt mayor of a small village that is hated by everyone. He cheats on his wife with the town whores and fucks the towns people over with horrible taxes and awful living conditions. One day, he's chasing an uderage girl through the forrest when he gets lost and stumbles accross the Smurf village. At first the Smurfs don't notice him. Gargamel thinks he has stumbled upon pure gold: he could make a fortune with those little blue bastards. So he makes his way back home, grabs a bunch of his trusty thugs, and heads back into the forrest to capture some Smurfness. Only problem is, he can't find them again. His thugs think he may be going a little nutty, so they leave him alone in the forrest. And now that he's alone again, of course he finds the village. He rampages all over Smurf land, leaving their village in ruins. Then he runs back home to tell everyone. Now he has a huge group with him, and back to the forrest they head, and once again, no Smurfs. Now they all really think 'ol Gargamel has lost his mind. And Gargamel thinks he may be losing his mind too. So once he's alone again, the Smurfs, now really pissed, began fucking with him. He finds their newly reconstructed viallge, and begans to tear it apart again, only to realize Bomby Smurf make a fake village out of bombs, and he gets blowed up real good. Then the gay Smurf (Vanity, I think) sodomizes him. The strong Smurf breaks his shins, and Pappa Smurf starts force feeding him psycadelic shrooms. Gargamel crawls from the forrest, all tripped out and fucked up. He brutally murders his wife, and other town folks, before the people have finally had enough of his bullshit and nearly kill him before he can escape back into the forrest.
Gargamel, now a shunned outcast, spends more time trying to find and kill the Smurfs, now with his pet cat, Azreal, with him. But the Smurfs continue to fuck him up, till he loses it big time and sails away to a small island to live alone with Azreal. On the way to the island, his boat capsizes, and he's pulled underwater...
by the Snorks.
The end!
The Smurfs is a hard R rated film that tells the story of Gargamel, a corrupt mayor of a small village that is hated by everyone. He cheats on his wife with the town whores and fucks the towns people over with horrible taxes and awful living conditions. One day, he's chasing an uderage girl through the forrest when he gets lost and stumbles accross the Smurf village. At first the Smurfs don't notice him. Gargamel thinks he has stumbled upon pure gold: he could make a fortune with those little blue bastards. So he makes his way back home, grabs a bunch of his trusty thugs, and heads back into the forrest to capture some Smurfness. Only problem is, he can't find them again. His thugs think he may be going a little nutty, so they leave him alone in the forrest. And now that he's alone again, of course he finds the village. He rampages all over Smurf land, leaving their village in ruins. Then he runs back home to tell everyone. Now he has a huge group with him, and back to the forrest they head, and once again, no Smurfs. Now they all really think 'ol Gargamel has lost his mind. And Gargamel thinks he may be losing his mind too. So once he's alone again, the Smurfs, now really pissed, began fucking with him. He finds their newly reconstructed viallge, and begans to tear it apart again, only to realize Bomby Smurf make a fake village out of bombs, and he gets blowed up real good. Then the gay Smurf (Vanity, I think) sodomizes him. The strong Smurf breaks his shins, and Pappa Smurf starts force feeding him psycadelic shrooms. Gargamel crawls from the forrest, all tripped out and fucked up. He brutally murders his wife, and other town folks, before the people have finally had enough of his bullshit and nearly kill him before he can escape back into the forrest.
Gargamel, now a shunned outcast, spends more time trying to find and kill the Smurfs, now with his pet cat, Azreal, with him. But the Smurfs continue to fuck him up, till he loses it big time and sails away to a small island to live alone with Azreal. On the way to the island, his boat capsizes, and he's pulled underwater...
by the Snorks.
The end!
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