Warcraft

[BillyG]

FUCK YEAH $150M CULT FILM

[BillyG]

OK, but Ben Foster gets to BEN FUCKING FOSTER it up right?

[Anderson]

OK, but Ben Foster gets to BEN FUCKING FOSTER it up right?

Clancy Brown and Foster were the only two things that I didn't find fault with in the film.

[FilmNerdJamie]

Clancy Brown and Foster were the only two things that I didn't find fault with in the film.

  Spoiler: Poopoododobutthole. 

Oh. Foster's stuff has fault. You literally have no idea why he distrusts/hates the young ex-apprentice sorcerer and why (and how? and when?) he's possessed by a demon (?) and turns evil.

Reasons! Off-screen reasons but still! REASOOOONS!

[Anderson]

  Spoiler: Poopoododobutthole. 

Oh. Foster's stuff has fault. You literally have no idea why he distrusts/hates the young ex-apprentice sorcerer and why (and how? and when?) he's possessed by a demon (?) and turns evil.

Reasons! Off-screen reasons but still! REASOOOONS!

To that, I use the Poe Dameron argument. If you can make me enjoy a character enough that I can forgive a sudden second act disappearance, then I'm right the fuck onboard.

The whole Dances with Wolves by way of a WWII movie stuff felt extremely out of place.

[BillyG]

  Spoiler: Poopoododobutthole. 

Oh. Foster's stuff has fault. You literally have no idea why he distrusts/hates the young ex-apprentice sorcerer and why (and how? and when?) he's possessed by a demon (?) and turns evil.

Reasons! Off-screen reasons but still! REASOOOONS!

Well you see. Medivh was possessed by Sargeras (General of the Burning Legion) when he was "defeated" and used his influence of Medivh and his magical strengths to consort with Gul'dan through the portal to destroy the humans of Azeroth. Now, why did he want to do this? Why does Sargeras keep coming for Azeroth? That's the great central mystery to Warcraft. There is something "special" about Azeroth, and there are many places the Titans held "experiments" in world and life building, and the demons see it as a source of...some power. Players have been speculating for literally decades.

So yeah. Basically impossible to show that in this movie.

[Anderson]

So yeah. Basically impossible to show that in this movie.

Then don't make a fucking movie.

[FilmNerdJamie]

He gets points for having 80's Bon Jovi hair.

[FilmNerdJamie]

Then don't make a fucking movie.

Exactly.

That bullshit's gotsta be 'plained.

[BillyG]

Then don't make a fucking movie.

Or get a huge set of balls, throw down $500M and plan a trilogy from the start.

But also, eventually you have to reveal something that hasn't been explained in the games or novels yet. If you think GRRM fans are rabid. WHOA BOY

[Anderson]

Or get a huge set of balls, throw down $500M and plan a trilogy from the start.

But also, eventually you have to reveal something that hasn't been explained in the games or novels yet. If you think GRRM fans are rabid. WHOA BOY

It also sounds like a bunch of fantasy MMORPG nerds that need to get in a pile and fuck it out.

Speaking of which, when does Leeroy Jenkins show up?

[FilmNerdJamie]

Spend $200-$300M on this and didn't bother to make it understandable for a general audience.

Assumed the number of subscribers and sales of the games over the years = Joe Sixpack. Hence why fucking bother? They all know the mythology! We're in the clear! Why studios can be run by fucking idiots.

[BillyG]

Spend $200-$300M on this and didn't bother to make it understandable for a general audience.

Assumed the number of subscribers and sales of the games over the years = Joe Sixpack. Hence why fucking bother? They all know the mythology! We're in the clear! Why studios can be run by fucking idiots.

Honestly, the big fuck up is starting the story where they did. YES it's the origin on a lot of the games and shit. But itg ets SO DEEP into the mumbo jumbo shit. There are plenty of major story lines around the orc invasion without getting into the insane Medivh shit. I could have helped polish that script so it leads into Arthas...which is really what people want to see and is WAY more cinematic.

[BillyG]

OK. Saw it. Initial spoiler free thoughts:

-Orcs. Fantastic. I think this is the new measuring stick for CGI characters.
-Style. The movie definitely had a style to it, and wasn't generic. Now, if you like it or not, YMMV, but I dug it.
-Humans. Ehhhhhhh. Honestly, the costumes were fine but the armor looked bad. So bad. Half of it was OK, the other half of the armor looked like high quality cosplay that had been painted on. Not like plate armor. Which sucks because Orc armor was BADASS.
-The Score. Awesome. Great fucking score. Lots of hints of the World of Warcraft music looped into the score as well for locations, which i appreciated, obviously.
-Combat. It kind of sucked until the final battle. Not that the choreography was bad or anything, but combat lacked a literal punch. It never felt like anyone was really being hit. Or hurt. Or stabbed. Or anything. Then in the final battle it's all bone crunching, and bloody, and people dying. Weird.
-THE FEL. Gul'dan...with that one prisoner. You'll know it. Fucking cool.
-Griffin. Yup. Awesome.

I think a lot of people will go easy because it's Warcraft, and a lot of people will be hard on it because it's a game adaptation. Truth is it's somewhere in the middle. If you like campy fun adventure movies, you'll dig it. I joked about Excalibur, but that really is a close approximation. Or Willow. Or even Neverending Story.

Spoiler Time!

The movie completely fucking bungled the treatment of Medivh, his possession by Sargeras, and why he opened the portal. And shit, it felt like a couple hundred orcs came through instead of THOUSANDS. When Medivh showed his possession though, and transformed? That was damn incredible. Loved that. But yeah, it was confusing as someone that actually knows the lore...as someone coming in cold I'd have no idea at all what the fuck was happening.

The ending was...crazy if you know the lore. What Garona did...and who was alive and who was dead? VERY different from the lore of the games. I understand why they did it, but it's totally different and kind of cool.

But real talk, this was the wrong story to start with. They should have just kicked it off with Arthas. That's the interesting story that's easy to sell. Corrupted prince trying to do the right thing, zombies which are still hot, and a new villain to sell a sequel upon...who was once your hero. The orcs coming through the portal is a convuluted and messy story without a LOT of time to explore what Draenor is/was, who the Draenei (who are shown but never explained) are...hell they never explained WHO Garona actually was!

But overall I did enjoy it. And I think at least on Bluray everyone should check it for the orcs, because they are awesome.

Easter Eggs: Grommash Hellscream, Kargath Bladefist, the murloc, the fishing lure, the armor designs, the musical cues and MOTHERFUCKING MOROES.

[gravedigger]

As a non-Warcraft guy I feel like the best way to watch this would be with Billy and a bottle of bourbon.