New movies undeserving of their own thread 2: The Night It Came Home

[Martin]

I mean, it's one thing to have Vin Diesel, The Rock (a good combo, when mixed with that Tyrese/Walker homoerotic duo and the others), but add Jason Statham, Tonny fucking Jaa and Kurt Russell?

I'm there opening night.

[FilmNerdJamie]

Is Johnson in Fast 7?

[Martin]

Yup.

[FilmNerdJamie]

Ah, OK. Had been rumblings he might not squeeze it in thanks to Hercules schedule.

[Martin]

Man, this franchise is what the Expendables aspires to be, but never will. If you would have told me back after F&F2 that I'd be anticipating one of those flicks, I'd have laughed you out of the room, but after Fast Five, BRING IT.

[FilmNerdJamie]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. The Expendables 2 was pretty Goddamn amazing.

[Martin]

It was slightly less boring than the first, which was garbage. It's a very boring movie, which is criminal considering the Statham, Li and Crews involved. Oh, yes, adding washed up Van Damme and washed up Norris and the others from the Cialis Crew...

[BillyG]

Ah man. Fuck. FUCK. This movie is all movies in one. I wish Wan wasn't directing though. That's my one concern.

[Ben Thomas]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. The Expendables 2 was pretty Goddamn amazing.

What? I enjoyed it enough, but it's not particularly good at anything it set out to be.

[Captain Russ]

Except as an endorsement for JCVD to be the bad guy in everything related to old dudes fighting over the last batch of growth hormone. I was rooting for him to waste everyone, really.

[B_Metal]

Fast wipes the floor with Expendables, and I like the Expendables.

[Captain Russ]

They're both doofy popcorn franchises.

The thing Fast has over the meatheads turning meatheads into hamburger is ball-drainingly-hot women in their ranks.

But then Expendables is an ode to the apex of homoerotic action: The 80s. All it's missing is Bennett showing up, owning a club called The Steamroom.

So they each have their audience.

[B_Metal]

I am both audiences but Expendables Tres better bring the heat is all I'm saying.

[Captain Russ]

Word.

[Ben Thomas]

I'd love for the Expendables franchise to kick into gear in the same way the Fast franchise did, albeit by skipping the pretty dreadful fourth chapter.

I like the first 2 enough, but Justin Lin made the franchise what it is. Getting in a young, hungry director for Expendables 3 is probably a good move and Red Hill - while not wholly satisfying - showed enough promise and the cast this time around is pretty amazing, so I'm still holding out for it to deliver.

As far as Fast 7 is concerned, James Wan has some big shoes to fill, but I really liked Death Sentence and it shows how well he can throw a camera around in service of a solid set-piece.