New movies undeserving of their own thread 2: The Night It Came Home

[BillyG]

goats are fucked up man

[BillyG]

you ever killed a goat? called it your lil cabrito then slit its throat and fry it up and slap it on a tortilla? will fuck you up

[BillyG]

The Witch is brilliant and I love it. It's getting a place in annual Halloween viewings.

[Matt]

OK, Troy: what's the word on GODS OF EGYPT? How bad is it?

[Abraham Smashington]

according to Jamie it sounds like I may need to see it.

[Martin]

according to Jamie it sounds like I may need to see it.

It's that horrible, eh?

[Abraham Smashington]

THEY HAVE A FLAT EARTH SHOT.

[Matt]

I found one review out there so far, and it was semi-positive (3.5 out of 5). Main complaint is that the lead 'human' (who fights alongside Jaime Lannister) can't act for shit.

[Anderson]

OK, Troy: what's the word on GODS OF EGYPT? How bad is it?

It's terrible. It feels like someone cut all of the gameplay out of a PS1 game and tried to make a movie out of the cut scenes.

Proyas is a solid director who tries to mine something out of it, but the movie is a mess.

Lionsgate is acting weird about it. Technically, everyone is embargoed until Thursday. But, they're just like fuck it. I don't have to review it, apparently. But, I might just throw on the backpile.

[Fil]

you ever killed a goat? called it your lil cabrito then slit its throat and fry it up and slap it on a tortilla? will fuck you up

This basically happened to me on a visit to Mexico when I was younger. My cousin and I had to dig a hole for all the entrails and shit too. Little Fil was scarred.

[FilmNerdJamie]

It's terrible. It feels like someone cut all of the gameplay out of a PS1 game and tried to make a movie out of the cut scenes.

Proyas is a solid director who tries to mine something out of it, but the movie is a mess.

Lionsgate is acting weird about it. Technically, everyone is embargoed until Thursday. But, they're just like fuck it. I don't have to review it, apparently. But, I might just throw on the backpile.

Terrible, but gloriously so. At the screening, I was holding back laughter to the point where Ana said, "Come on, don't be an ass!"

Felt like Proyas said, "Fuck it!" and figured he would try to get away with as much insanity as possible, a la gods that have gold (!?) blood, Geoffrey Rush as Grandpa god who spends eternity in his space-station above a flat Earth fighting off the sand worm from Dune every night, villain goddesses who ride on giant, fire-breathing cobras and Gerald Butler seemingly doing his best Shatner impression.

[gravedigger]

THE WITCH is fantastic. It's absolutely a creepy, slow burn. But the last couple scenes? Gotdamn chills, man. It'll take me a while to fall asleep tonight. Stuff like that freaks me out big time.

[Martin]

Terrible, but gloriously so. At the screening, I was holding back laughter to the point where Ana said, "Come on, don't be an ass!"

Felt like Proyas said, "Fuck it!" and figured he would try to get away with as much insanity as possible, a la gods that have gold (!?) blood, Geoffrey Rush as Grandpa god who spends eternity in his space-station above a flat Earth fighting off the sand worm from Dune every night, villain goddesses who ride on giant, fire-breathing cobras and Gerald Butler seemingly doing his best Shatner impression.

If you're trying to scare me away me to stay way from it, you're doing a terrible job at it. It sounds like a classic to me.

[Matt]

A few new clips have hit the net from GODS OF EGYPT that definitely push it into 'Oh God I need to see this' territory for me. It's hitting that FLASH GORDON sweet spot.

[Anderson]

A few new clips have hit the net from GODS OF EGYPT that definitely push it into 'Oh God I need to see this' territory for me. It's hitting that FLASH GORDON sweet spot.

Don't ever besmirch Flash Gordon like that.