STAR WARS, INDY , HOWARD THE DUCK DEUCE; AND MORE

[Anderson]

John Williams recorded a few tracks last week. Teaser trailer on schedule.

[Anderson]

  Spoiler: NEW SPOILERS! 

For having a Mystery Box, a ton of shit always leaks on Abrams sets.


Lupita N'Yongo and Andy Serkis are playing aliens. Good aliens that are pretty neutral.

Plus, they're both voicing them instead of portraying as they are Old School Foam Latex Big Henson Muppets.

Role appears to be involved with building Kira's lightsaber.

[Abraham Smashington]

Fuck yeah Foam Latex.

[Anderson]

Just had another bombshell dropped in my lap. Currently measuring out possible blowback if I go with it.

[Matt]

PM it to me?

[Anderson]

  Spoiler: As the saying goes...many Bothans died to bring you this information. 

The Undernet and various haunts are blowing up with this today and shit's checking out across the board. Mind you that we're discussing a plot where a ton of Post Production has yet to be completed. So, it's all very Mind's Eye sort of shit.


That being said, if Rerb gets a Cease and Desist...this is can easily be wiped out and moved elsewhere for posterity.

Everything's considered rumor until your ass is in a theater seat. Let's begin:

THE FORCE AWAKENS

Opening Crawl

The New Imperial Forces are hounding down a lone TIE Fighter. This pilot is doing some Episode I Anakin style shenanigans to evade them. But, he gets caught and ship is blown to fuck over a nearby planet. He crash lands the flaming wreckage hard into the sandy dunes.

TIE fighter crashes and a team of local Space Pirates rummages through the wreckage. They automatically assume the fucked up Pilot is dead until one finds what appears to be a lightsaber hilt. Pilot awakens, grabs the hilt and struggles with the Space Pirates.

In the distance, they hear loud engines and some roars. The Space Pirates scramble, as we see Kira (still hearing that this might be a production code name/questions remain about parentage) appear to rescue him.

She throws him on a levitating stretcher and loads him onto her vehicle. We see that the vehicle has a couple of beasts of burden behind it. She starts to apply Bacta to the pilot, while hooking the wreckage to the beasts. They proceed to leave it at a snail's pace, so the animals can keep up.

Back at Kira's compound inside the toppled AT-AT walker, we get a better sense of who she is. The place is been poorly remodeled into a living area. There's hot plate style shit, but it's mainly a garage that she lives in. TIE Fighter Pilot awakens while Kira is looting his shit. He angrily tries to take back the hilt, but Kira knows what it is and tries to activate it. It turns on, but quickly shorts out.

Kira says it's broke and no one can repair it, so she makes the Pilot a deal and they go to the local town to sell his shit and get him some better medical attention.

Kira and Pilot show up at the local town, they sell most of his shit. But, Kira pockets the lightsaber hilt. She goes to the Chief of the Space Pirates to find a way to figure out what's wrong. She wants to fix it and keep it for herself. She meets the Chief (Max von Sydow) and he has a total Old Man I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT SHIT IN YEARS moment. He explains what it is and we get that whole classic STAR WARS spiel about the Jedi and the Force.

He can't fix it, but he tells Kira who can. Then, he radios to Gwen Christie and the Imperials about what he saw. They dispatch a squadron to come and retrieve it.

Pilot catches what Kira tried to do and they make a deal to take it to get fixed off planet. That's when they meet Oscar Isaac at a local cantina. He's a rogue and a bit of a dirtbag. Plus, he's got to get out of their fast. Familiar story about transaction for a trip and they bolt out of the place. Isaac shows off the Falcon in a local hangar. The ship looks like it hasn't seen any heavy action since Endor.

Imperials arrive on planet. They find out they've been fucked over, kill the Space Pirate chief. Then, they visit his tribe to see if they've got the stolen shit. Nothing there and then they go Scorched Earth. This is a new Empire where everyone works at Vader mode or Higher.

Oscar Isaac, Pilot and Kira venture to the coordinates of where Pirate Chief said to go, but they're spot by a Republic Garrison. We see some familiar Home One style ships, but it's mainly a shit ton of Super Star Destroyers that have been slightly modified.

Han Solo raises them over the Falcon's comm link and orders them to land his ship in his ship. The trio lands and they're greeted by Han, Chewie and a hundred new Republic troops.

Kira, Pilot and Oscar Isaac steps out. Han directly talks to Oscar and asks why the hell did he bring them and his ship this far out into the Outer Rim. They talk, but there's a whole comedy bit about how Han won't acknowledge the Falcon as being anyone's ship but his. While they talk, Chewie notices the Lightsaber and growls at Han. Han sees it and flips out.

MORE TO COME....as I've got a shitting baby to handle

[Matt]

MORE MORE MORE

[Anderson]

  Spoiler: The Saga Continues 

Kira and Pilot try to explain away the Lightsaber, but Han recognizes it as Luke's ROTJ one. They talk about it and Han pretty much does the whole Old Man Police Interrogation routine. Oscar Isaac gets involved and Chewie nearly tears off his head.

Han explains that Luke has been missing for years now and only a few people knows where he is. One of those people being Leia. He explains that Leia as acting head of the Republic place Han and his military command where they are as a barricade to keep any forces from going after him. Han visits the fleet every once in awhile just to see if they've heard word or seen Luke. So far, they can't scan the plan due to the high energy and life readings.

Back on Coruscant, Leia is running around Space Sorkin style between meetings and using C-3P0 almost as her Press Secretary. She shows up late for a meeting with the Hutts, but the Hutts don't want to work with her since she's still seen as an assassin to their people. Threepio settles the situation until Leia cuts them a deal.

Threepio leaves the room and we see Artoo outside giving him shit for being a bitch. They have their usual banter and we move on. Leia and a few new minor actors cast as Republic Politicians discuss issues with the new Imperial remnants and how they're pushing for rights to dig in areas in the Outer Rim. The Republic Military believes that they're trying to uncover weaponry left during the Emperor's time, but Leia says that she has sent Rogue Squadron to the area to monitor them.

Cut to the mystery green planet that people claim is Yavin IV. Adam Driver and Rogue Squadron are doing fly-by patrols and keeping the peace, as the Empire is there and they're salvaging for stuff under the old Temples from the end of ANH.

Adam Driver lands and takes the lead away from several higher-ups, but we're not given a reason why. Except that a ton of the older brass fucking hates him, but they know that they can't order him around like other pilots.

Adam Driver meets with a small section of Imperial Elites, as they order their stormtroopers and Republic reps to leave the room. Driver reveals that he knows what they're really after and he knows why they haven't found it. They're on the wrong planet. Driver has intercepted some data from the Republic Navy and found out that his dad's in charge of the Barricade around the Planet they want.

That's right. Adam Driver is clearly playing Han and Leia's son. (Which makes me wonder why the Kira thing is still up in the air, as this is a production draft and sections were omitted due to what was needed for design teams). The Imperials discuss what they can do, when the most powerful fleet in existence is blocking the Planet that they need to investigate. Driver comes up with a plan, but states that his master wants certain favors for the risk.

The Imperial Leader assigns Gwen Christie by hologram ESB mode to serve as the muscle for Adam Driver to invade the planet. A lowly Imperial delegate makes a crack at Driver's expense. Along the lines of the grandson of Darth Vader being some pipsqueak kid. Driver force chokes him to death. Really big echoes of Anakin slaughtering the Tusken Raiders in Episode II here. Driver is on the edge of turning super bad, but right now he's just in troubled whiny kid mode.

Driver leaves and reports back to Rogue Squadron, says that he got assigned to the Outer Rim and leaves.

Back on Han's Star Destroyer, he's having a Wall Monitor style convo ala Episode I with Leia about what's going on. Leia orders Han to hold the trio there, she'll send someone to deal with them. Han has his whole I'm Too Old For This Shit moment and promises to get back to Coruscant soon.

Kira interrupts and shows off the lightsaber, she promises that she knows where she can get it fixed. Han agrees to help her, as they throw on some forest gear (Han slaps on the trenchcoat from the concept art) and heads down to the nearby planet that the trio was trying to reach before Han stopped them.

Han, Chewie and the trio land on the planet in the Falcon. The trio venture out, as Han and Chewie stay onboard the Falcon. Montage of Han going around the ship and checking out what Oscar Isaac has done to the ship.

On the planet, we see that it has been fucked up by war or something. The trio goes underground to meet with the Turtle/Lizard looking Muppets that Lupita N'Yongo and Andy Serkis are supposed to be voicing. One's got two arms and the other has four. They notice the lightsaber and comment about how it was crudely made in a hurry.

They summon weird mystical shit and begin the long process of putting the lightsaber back into working order. Lupita's muppet character talks to the trio about where they're from, asks if they're Jedi and what it's like to fly.

Andy Serkis' character (four arm) finishes the lightsaber and hands it back to the one that has a connection. The Pilot reaches for it, but Serkis pushes him back. Oscar Isaac refuses to take it and then Kira reaches out her hand and takes it.

Without looking, she knows how to ignite it and quickly raises it in a Jedi fashion. She seems scared, as she just closed her eyes and reached out to do what was right. It's the green lightsaber from ROTJ and it fills the underground area with its glow.

On the other side of the system, we see a dark twisted planet whose environment is just fucked. There are some droids, wild animals and things just roaming around the place. Then, we stop on a lone hunched over figure fiddling with a box (possible Holocron). He can't get it to work, then sits it down. While he's reaching for a tool, he stops and goes still.

Quick cut of images in a Force Ghost style filter, as we see what's happening with the Lizard Turtle people. Kira. Where Kira came from and hold on Kira in Jedi mode.

The figure puts down the tool and reaches for a cane, he walks out of the area and up to the surface of this weird world he's on.

(PAUSE, as I have to go into emails for the rest of this LONG ASS leak).

[Matt]

Wow.

[FilmNerdJamie]

[Anderson]

  Spoiler: Revenge of the Jedi 

Han, Chewie and the trio are ready to leave. When Lupita's character stops them and asks to go along. They have a whole rant and it sounds like these Turtle Lizards are Space Amish or some shit. So, she goes out on Space Rumspringa with the group.

They return to the blockade, where they find that two ships have arrived. Han's son and a supply ship from the Republic. The supply ship doors open and Artoo rolls out in between a squad of busy workers. Threepio chases after him, as Artoo eventually comes to a stop next to Han, Chewie and Adam Driver. He plays a hologram message from Leia about how she can't handle Threepio anymore and that's she's sticking him with Han.

Adam Driver takes notice of the trio for the first time and freaks out. Demands to know what they're doing here. Han explains and then Driver sees Kira's repaired Lightsaber. Driver gets up in her face, asking if she thinks she's a Jedi.

The two go at it, but there's something to this scene that I couldn't put my finger on. Han breaks the two up, as Kira leaves with her group back to their barracks. Adam Driver explains how only their family has a right to the Force and they can't go opening it up to outsiders and traitors. Han does the whole concern parent with an obviously fucked up kid thing and tries to calm him down. Basically, says that he can't get angry or he'll end up like his Grandfather and Uncle.

Driver's character leaves and is a total DICK to Chewie on the way out. Which is sad, because the scene might work really well onscreen. It gives Chewie that whole kicked old dog vibe.

Driver communicates with Gwen Christie from a secret area on the ship and orders a False Flag attack on the Blockade. The Imperials attack and Driver uses the confusion to get all the people he needs onto the planet that his Master wants.

Our new heroes, Han, Chewie, Driver and the droids take two ships down to the mystery planet. While the Blockade easily picks off the Imperials.

The group lands on the mystery planet and it's snowing hard. Han and the others step out in Arctic gear from the Concept Art and start trying to get their bearings. Artoo and Chewie roll out like it ain't no thang.

It's snowing hard and then stops, as the group nears what appears to be an abandoned Castle/Fortress in the distance. Adam Driver seems nauseous the closer they get to it. Han tries to help him, but he rebukes him.

The weather changes again into a rainy mix, as we see a lone figure approach the group and offer to help Driver. It's a man in a cloak wearing armor that appears to be somewhere between Boussh and something that's being called Darth Reven like. Driver agrees, but Han orders Kira and the Pilot to go with him.

The mystery figure looks at Artoo and tells the little droid to bring his ships over to the Fortress to land. Han seems confused, as Artoo is quite willing to take commands from this cyborg desperado looking figure.

Inside the Castle, we find the same scene from before. Wild animals having their way with the place. A 21B medical unit, some power droids and random things thrown about the place. The group seems worried, as the Desperado opens a chest and places something in it on Driver.

The Desperado talks through an obvious voice modulation unit, that Kira figures out isn't necessary. The Desperado laughs and then removes his helmet to reveal....Luke.

Luke talks about how he can't go out much anymore or risk interacting with others. But, he feared for Driver's life. While Driver is recuperating, the group talks. Driver is in the other area sending a signal with direct coordinates for the Imperials to land.

Luke reveals that since he brought balance to the Force, he's working both sides of the street without control. We get the Flashbacks to the Past with Billie Lord, Domnhall Gleeson and the others. But, these will probably get moved around the film to help flow. Ton of red marks by this stuff in what leaked.

Apparently, Luke returned to Tatooine about a year after ROTJ to learn more about his father and family. Something happened on the planet that caused him to lose control for the first time. He snapped the planet's ecosystem into two with the full power of the Force and killed most of the population.

Tusken Raiders are now an endangered species, Bantha are gone except for off planet zoos and the Hutts have become a protected minority. The guilt of feeling all that life through the full filter of the Living Force drove Luke crazy.

Leia, Han and a few other Republic Leaders devised a plan to help Luke cope and to keep everything secret. They blockaded off most of the Outer Rim and left him tethered to the ruins of Tatooine ala how Yoda hid on Dagobah. The mix of Dark and Light Side energy would keep his powers from spiking and help him to gain his sanity back.

Kira looks around and realizes that they've been on Tatooine all the time and starts to freak out about Luke being powerful enough to do this. Luke reveals that the Force is helping to alleviate the strain. Since he can feel that she is Force Sensitive and a potential padawan. But, he also knows that the Sith have returned out of necessity and he is encouraging both to co-exist since the Force needs both sides.

That's when Adam Driver reveals himself and threatens to kill Kira. This is the image from the Concept Art of the figure covered in darkness holding Kira against her will.

Fingers cramping, but we're almost done. I'll be back.

[Abraham Smashington]

gotdamn

[Anderson]

  Spoiler: A New Hope 

Luke struggles to control his emotions, as he tries to talk Adam Driver down. The Pilot whips out a Blaster and is ready to drop Driver when Driver does the Sith Hand grab thing from ESB and takes the blaster.

Driver almost Jack Burtons the thing back into the Pilot, when Luke uses the Force to destroy the Blaster in Driver's hand. The resulting blast mangles Driver's hand and causes him to free Kira.

Driver's hand is a bloody burned mess, as we see that Luke is starting to Force Hulk out.

Outside of the Castle/Fortress, the weather changes again and the ground starts to shake violently. Everyone freaks out, as Han hopes on the comm link and calls in to Kira.

Luke hears Han's voice and Chewie growling in the background and starts to come back to reality. He recognizes Driver as his nephew and tries to get the medical droids to help him. Driver fights back, as we see that Driver's probably going to join the proud line of Skywalker men to lose an appendage.

Driver uses the Force to grab Kira's lightsaber and tries to attack Luke, but Luke stops him without thinking about it. The Force is so Strong in Luke now, that it works like a muscle memory.

Luke stares at the lightsaber, as he remembers making it. Quick flash to Luke in the cave in ROTJ. Luke easily takes the lightsaber back and Force Tosses Driver into a wall several feet away. Luke's mood is switching easily and the other two are starting to panic.

Luke stares at Han's kid flopping around on the ground and Force Flashes to the Future where we see that the kid kills his Sith Master and becomes the new Emperor. Luke looks at his lightsaber, then at the kid. Luke's going to kill his nephew to save existence.

Luke's good side struggles against the nearly mad side, as he makes Luke throw away the lightsaber. Kira breaks away from the Pilot, as he tries to take them to the others who are just now entering the Fortress.

Kira reaches out with the Force and makes her first successful use of the Force by pulling the Green Lightsaber into her hand. Upon impact, it ignites and Kira is ready to fight.

Luke smiles at what he's seeing and then pulls out another lightsaber at his side. It's a familiar one, because it's Vader lightsaber that Luke's kept all of this time. The familiar flash of red is seen, as Luke stares down everyone.

Huge fight erupts, as the good guys try to keep Luke from killing Adam Driver. Luke's toying with them like Vader toyed with him during Cloud City. He's launching debris, throwing things around and taunting them the entire time.

Everyone struggles, but Kira keeps summoning the Force without trying and she fights her way to Luke. The duo clash lightsabers, as Kira tries to bring the good personality in Luke back out.

Quick quip about the Force awakening followed by Driver clipping Luke. Luke's enraged and begins to slice parts off of Driver. He burns the kid, drops debris on him and leaves him a messed up wreck on the floor until Han screams for him to stop.

Luke has another moment like on the Death Star II. He sees Driver defeated, he sees his father defeated before him. Luke throws away his lightsaber and gives in to the good. He tells Han that he accepts that he's a monster and asks to be turned over to the Republic for all that he's done.

Han agrees, as Chewie moves to shackle him. Driver snarls at Luke with barbs like the injured Anakin on the lava planet in Episode III. Luke feels something ignite, as Driver brings up what happened to him on Tatooine. Luke slips into the Dark Side one more time to kill Driver when Han intervenes. Luke runs Han through the stomach on accident. Han knows he's going to die and begs Luke to train Driver like Obi-Wan trained him. He knows that his son can be good and he doesn't want him to end up like Vader. Luke promises and Han dies.

Driver is fully Sith now, as balance returns to the Force. Luke starts to gain his sanity back, but Driver vanishes in the skirmish. Luke and the others return to Coruscant with Republic troops. Luke is in chains, while Han's body is given a state funeral. The entire galaxy is in an uproar that the Last of the Jedi did what he did.

Back on destroyed Tatooine, Adam Driver has been rebuilt by the medical droids and we now see that weird looking creature that was holding the Vader helmet from the Concept Art. Driver picks up the burned remnants of his grandfather's helmet and stares it down.

END CREDITS.

That took way longer to type than I anticipated. As always, it's a rumor until you see it in theaters. But, this rumor came via leaked documents and stamped materials.

[FilmNerdJamie]

[Matt]

that actually sounds pretty damned great.