STAR WARS, INDY , HOWARD THE DUCK DEUCE; AND MORE

[Abraham Smashington]

I'm with Billy. They are gonna have to sell me HARD with that first trailer.

[Martin]

Same.

Can't they do that Obi-Wan movie? McGregor wants to do it, and he's the best thing about those shitty prequels beside the 10 minutes of Maul we got.

[BillyG]

Yeah, would be waaaaaaaaaaaaaay more interested in a young Obi-Wan movie.

[BillyG]

Or, ya know, ANY MOVIE THAT ISN'T FUCKING TIED TO THE GODDAMN ORIGINAL FUCKING TRILOGY.

[Abraham Smashington]

BUT WE'LL GET TO SEE HOW HAN GOT THE FALCON YOU GUYS. AND MAYBE THE KESSEL RUN. ALSO MAYBE HOW HIM AND CHEWIE BECAME BEST FRIENDS!

OH GOD SO MANY THINGS MENTIONED THAT THEY COULD ACTUALLY SHOW NOW!

haha, but for reals, I hope we get his first wife in this or whatever because why the hell not?

[Martin]

I hope Han and Lando smuggle shit and get bitches left and right. And then Han gets set up for a blind date that turns out to be Chewie.

[gravedigger]

Or, ya know, ANY MOVIE THAT ISN'T FUCKING TIED TO THE GODDAMN ORIGINAL FUCKING TRILOGY.

This a million times over. I refuse to believe there are only five interesting people in the galaxy so we have to keep hearing their stories.

[B_Metal]

Lando's one of like two brotha's in that whole galaxy, I'll take his movie over Sam Jackson's Jedi brotha's movie.

[Ari]

BUT WE'LL GET TO SEE HOW HAN GOT THE FALCON YOU GUYS. AND MAYBE THE KESSEL RUN. ALSO MAYBE HOW HIM AND CHEWIE BECAME BEST FRIENDS!

OH GOD SO MANY THINGS MENTIONED THAT THEY COULD ACTUALLY SHOW NOW!

haha, but for reals, I hope we get his first wife in this or whatever because why the hell not?

The casting rumors look like Han's "first wife" just may be a part of this.

[Timothy225]

I'm all about that Kessel Run. More so if they could bring Hal Needham back from the dead to direct it, and one of the myriad spaceships is piloted by Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise.

[BillyG]

This a million times over. I refuse to believe there are only five interesting people in the galaxy so we have to keep hearing their stories.

GIVE ME KOTOR OR GIVE ME DEATH

[Anderson]

I think I might've gotten in Rogue One final outline. Still trying to fact check it.

[Anderson]

I think I might've gotten in Rogue One final outline. Still trying to fact check it.

Got together with another spy/movie guy/fellow person who knew that God Particle was Cloverfield 3 since fucking January.

I think we've worked it out to about a 90% marker. I'll put up what we have in the next post. Buddy helped me get the names straight, so it's not going to be a lot of ARMOR GUY and THAT CHICK as it was in the first attempt.

[Anderson]

  Spoiler: This is just one giant Rogue One spoiler. 

Dr. Galen Erso is a widower on a private homestead with his daughter Jyn. He was a big deal in the Old Republic, but has fled to rural settings after the Core Worlds fell under the fist of Palpatine.

It's 5 years after Episode 3 and the Empire has hit a snag with its Death Star plans. Security Director Krennic and his squad of Death Troopers arrive to draft Galen into service. He resists and they take him by force in front of his daughter.

Jyn wakes up in a cell in an Imperial detention center. She's done enough, but we're never sure what. That's when Captain Andor and his squad bust in to rescue her. She's handy with a Blaster and slightly reluctant to join the Rebels. But, they take off with her and head back to Yavin IV.

It's a few days before Episode IV (A New Hope) begins. The turbolaser and other final touches are installed into the Death Star. However, they still need the final energy cell to power the laser. Only one person can do it, Galen. However, the Empire was going to use his captured daughter to pressure him into finishing the design FAST.

Security Director Krennic finds out that Jyn has been taken by Rebels and he has to find her NOW. This is the case that will finally make him a Moff, but the others don't want him in their circle. He's a working class Imperial, while Tarkin and the others are military aristocracy. Krennic wants to bring real change and force their respect.

Tarkin is scared that Krennic might force his way into being a Moff, so he assigns Vader to make sure that the job gets done by Tarkin's terms. Vader knows how delicate the final touches for the Death Star, while Tarkin doesn't. He joins Krennic's hunt for Jyn as an overseer.

Andor brings Jyn to Yavin IV, where she is debriefed by Mon Mothma. She agrees to join, but Andor needs more than a skeleton crew. He gets to keep his base guys, but is ordered to go to Jedha to pick up their dying forces and find something that Saw Gerrara has for them. The new group dubbed Rogue One is also given a reprogrammed Imperial Battle Droid named Kay Two-So.

Saw Gerrara is the head of Insurgent Rebel Forces on Jedha. His group is a ton of mercs and Clone War veterans hanging onto the Jedi Holy Land. Imperials are already setting up garrisons, but Saw and the others are protecting hidden sites. Saw is damn near death and feels like the Dark Side has just about won. However, he knows a secret.

Jedha holds one of the last stashes of Kyber Crystals. These are the Crystals that the Jedi mined and used to make lightsabers. However, there's a catch. Sith can't make lightsabers or touch these crystals. The Dark Side makes them bleed out and renders the power sources to be ineffective. They need someone to engineer it for them safely (that's why they grabbed Galen).

Galen is building the Death Star based on old Sith plans that Palpatine found, as he scoured the Universe and hid systems from Imperial maps. Hence, why so many secret spots were hidden in Episode VII ala where Luke disappeared.

The Death Star is virtually a giant Sith orbital lightsaber. One saber can cut apart hundreds. But, a saber that can fire and it's the size of Nebraska? That can take out a planet. There's a lot of mythical talk about the Sith and why they're doing this. I see no way this makes the movie, but it's part of a ritual to help the Dark Side grow. Something about mass sacrifices. The impression is given that Alderaan would've just been the first of several planets.

The Imperials arrive under duress and blow the place apart. Jedi artifacts are wrecked and Rogue One escapes with a few new soldiers. Saw tells them to assault Scarif to stop the production and rescue Galen. Saw stays behind with a few troops to stop Vader, Krennic and the Death Troopers. The Death Troopers are super stormtroopers that get hit people dead-on. Vader takes on Saw directly with no issue. Saw seems to recognize him, but is ultimately cut in half.

Scarif is the Imperial Military construction installation. The Death Star final design and other Imperial war engines start here. Andor and the others disguise as Imperial agents alongside Kay-Two So who still passes as an Imperial droid. Threepio style jokes about the Droid passing and having fun with lying.

The group finds Galen who has been starved and had the holy fuck beaten out of him. He knows that if he finishes the energy cell, he's dead. But, he wanted to see Jyn one last time. Problem is that Vader realized where they left to attack.

Thus begins the Battle of Scarif. The Imperials activate their AT-ACTs (think construction yard AT-ATs) to begin their attack. Jyn and the others try to leave with Galen, but he's slowing them down. Meanwhile, Galen knows he's going to die. He gives Jyn his technical readouts of everything he built including the entire Death Star. She hides the disc thing on her, as she realizes something's wrong.

All of the Imperials have left their area, as Vader has arrived. Galen shows them a way to escape, tearful goodbye and the Rebels leave. Vader finds Galen. He tries to Force power the truth out of him, but he won't budge. Vader reaches in his mind and finds out that Galen has been lying, the laser was always functional...he was just buying time for his daughter and the Rebels.

In a rage, Vader decapitates him. Director Krennic arrives on the beachhead of Scarif and seemingly adores the carnage. The AT-ACTs are decimating the Rebels. The Death and Sand Troopers are blowing apart what's left, but the Troopers are also dropping off in high numbers.

Andor, Kay-Two So and the Jyn get split up escaping. Andor and them make it to hangar to their ship. Meanwhile, Jyn gets chased into the scaffolding over the construction base. Vader has found her. Jyn is running like crazy to escape, but Vader taunts her about her father and how she's going to die.

Jyn BTTF Part 2's it and jumps off the platform and land on the Rogue One ship. Shades of Empire here. The Rogue One ship escapes, as the beach Rebels are rounded up by the Empire. Vader orders Krennic to kill them all and he agrees.

Jyn, the pilot, the white fur thing, Andor and Kay Too So are the only Rogue One members to survive. They meet up at a remote planet locale, where Jyn meets with Rebel Captain Antilles of the Tantive IV and Artoo. Artoo whirls and clicks, as Jyn finds it funny.

Antilles takes the plans and says he will hand them to the Princess for safekeeping. Jyn tells him to put in the droid and he says that droids lose stuff like that all of the time. In-joke laugh and the surviving Rogue One crew watches the Tantive IV take off. At one point, there were nearly 100 members of Rogue One, now there are just five.

Final SW shot on the survivors and...cue the John Williams and end credits.

[Martin]

I will avoid spoilers, but is Vader kick ass, Troy?