BLUE BALLS, BAT NIPS, and WONDER TITS -SPOILERS

[Matt]

You seem to be in the minority, Troy. Most reviews for THE BATMAN are raves. The main complaint I'm seeing is in the length of the film.

[FilmNerdJamie]

About that...

It's a bullshit site and done a lot to bring down the art of film criticism. But it's interesting to see The Batman started out on Rotten Tomatoes at 96% and within a few hours already down to 87%

[BillyG]

Reviews got me excited. It sounds like Dano is a split opinion of he is a strong villain or not, and a strong villain is what really makes or breaks a Batman movie to me. Gotta wait 2 weeks to see this, because Sarah won't cancel D&D to see it in a drive in so waiting until we are both off in a couple weeks to hit an empty matinee. Think I may watch some old Batman movies this weekend. Haven't watched Phantasm in like 20 years.

[Jan]

I rallye liked The Batman.

but there no reason whatsoever for it to be as long as fellowship of the ring.

[Anderson]

You seem to be in the minority, Troy. Most reviews for THE BATMAN are raves. The main complaint I'm seeing is in the length of the film.

I won't be in the long run. But again, it doesn't matter.

Most of these shits will jerk the studios off with both hands and then find some social cause du jour to use to slam it when they're protected enough to form a second opinion.

[Anderson]

Also, it's one of my life goals to help bring down Rotten Tomatoes and all of the faux aggregates that use Baristas turned opinion makers as their source for artistic merit.

Never before in human history have so many come together to do so little with their time, but thought they were heroes in the process.

While RT has fake exclusivity about it, at least they're not hitting you up for money at every turn ala HCA.

[Matt]

Troy is right on THE BATMAN, although I think I disliked it more than he did. It's tedious to the extreme.
Of note: there were two groups that walked out in my showing. I came close to joining them.

[FilmNerdJamie]

I have to say. I love that this is getting wildly different reactions. Some love it, some like it, some flat out hate it.

This isn't the across the board love that Batman Begins got.

[Matt]

I'm still processing it but I don't hate the film. If nothing else, it's well acted (apart from Paul Dano) and looks great. The fight scenes are pretty decent and the Batmobile scene is solid. It's just tedious to the extreme and stretches 2 hours of content into a 3 hour film. I can't wait until someone does a fan edit of this and reduces it to 2 hours.

As of now, I'd rather watch BATMAN FOREVER or BATMAN AND ROBIN again over this film. Those at least had SOME entertainment value to them. This is just a fucking slog.

[Captain Russ]

It's about as bloated Colin Farrell with one of the weirdest third act shifts I've ever seen.

[Martin]

I'm still processing it but I don't hate the film. If nothing else, it's well acted (apart from Paul Dano) and looks great. The fight scenes are pretty decent and the Batmobile scene is solid. It's just tedious to the extreme and stretches 2 hours of content into a 3 hour film. I can't wait until someone does a fan edit of this and reduces it to 2 hours.

As of now, I'd rather watch BATMAN FOREVER or BATMAN AND ROBIN again over this film. Those at least had SOME entertainment value to them. This is just a fucking slog.

Wait what? Is this Old Man Matt speaking?

Because the only redeeming thing about Batman & Robin was the blowjob I got at the drive-in 20ish years ago. Without it, it was shite. Still is.

[Abraham Smashington]

[FilmNerdJamie]

Start to finish. I fucking loved this. Although I absolutely understand why it's gotten a wide range of reactions. Totally get it and those opposing views are not wrong in any way, shape or form.

When Pattinson's Batman is introduced walking out of the shadows to that Giacchino score, I leaned over to Ana and said "This is legitimately great!"

That said, this isn't a case of reinventing the wheel. I recognized beats from previous iterations on film. I would respectfully call anyone nuts who says this blows Nolan's Dark Knight Trilogy outta the water or proclaims Pattinson as the greatest onscreen performance in the cape-and-cowl.

It's just so damn well done across the board.

[BillyG]

Seeing Batman in a few hours. Just saw that it hits HBO Max April 19th.

[BillyG]

Batman is perfect. I fucking love it so much. It totally nails the noir of Batman, and shows (some of) him being a detective. But it 100% understands the camp. If you think about Batman and his villains for 10 seconds you know it's pure camp, and we started laughing out loud the very first time Riddler pops up behind the mayor and basically didn't stop until the "act 4" in Gotham Square. Thumb Drive. My god. Hilarious. I also liked that it read like the creators knew that Batman is mentally unwell. His journals/voiceovers read like a manic depressive trying to work through his shit but in reality just telling themselves what they want to hear.

My only real issue with it is that "act 4" because you could just end with hey, we caught the Riddler. But he needed to have a bigger plan and the movie needed a big finish. It was fine but also felt like a 30 minute bridge episode between two movies.

Farrell is awesome. I had no idea John Turturro was in this and that shit made me so happy. I couldn't believe they actually used Nirvana in the movie. Twice.

This shit just worked for me perfectly. I will take it over Begins or Rises for sure. It's easily top 3 and you could talk me into top 2 Batman movies.