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BLUE BALLS, BAT NIPS, and WONDER TITS -SPOILERS

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  • Originally posted by Abraham Smashington View Post
    Aquaman thoughts. Yep. That sure was a movie.

    Pros:
    • the creature designs
    • the score
    • Black Mantra
    • the rooftop fight
    • the shot at the aquarium with little Aqua (lame in the trailer, worked much better in the film)
    • Seeing Dolph Lundgren in a DC movie
    • Randall Park
    • The Trench stuff
    • Dinosaur land
    • the underwater effects and the cg overall
    • the drum playing octopus


    Cons:
    • pretty much everything else


    I was mostly bored throughout this movie. I still think Momoa was the completely wrong choice for this and him and Heard have ZERO chemistry (she's terrible as well). The de-aging effects stuck out super bad in this as opposed to some of the Marvel flicks and I'm not sure why. Patrick Wilson was lame as balls. Dafoe was wasted. The kids they picked for young Aqua in the flashbacks were terrible. The fake looking sunsets that are constantly used and that make everything look like they are on a bluescreen were annoying. The stuff with the different sea creatures were the best parts of the movie but we spend way too much time with boring ass Patrick Wilson and terrible actors Momoa and Heard. The score was decent but the music was terrible.

    Everything with Black Manta was fucking aces. I know nothing about the character from the comics (and only really know him from the Injustice video game series) and I would love to see more of that dude. The rooftop scene in Sicily was probably the highlight BUT I already saw most of that in that one trailer they released so that was a shame.

    The overall look of Atlantis and shit was neat as were all of the underwater effects but I disliked the audio when we were underwater. It was probably just my theater but it made everything muddled (which I'm sure was the point) but I would legit be straining to understand what Lundgren was saying in half of his scenes.

    The final battle would have been much neater if he would have just SLOWED SHIT DOWN a bit. I know you fuckers hate Snyder's zoom ramping shit but this could have used a bit of that. There was an entire war happening with CRAB PEOPLE VS FISH MEN and it was mostly giving me a fucking headache. Oh god I'm old.

    ALSO THIS WAS WAY TOO LONG.

    I don't necessarily need nor want to see another solo Aquaman movie but would not mind a Black Manta flick or even have Aquaman hang out with some other people not named Wonder Woman.

    I dunno why this didn't do much for me. Especially after seeing Venom in the theater and wanting to re-watch it immediately I had assumed this was going to be slam dunk but alas it wasn't on my first viewing.
    ended up checking this out again last night just to see if my opinion the first time was incorrect or biased to outside forces.

    nope.

    I mean, all of the stuff I liked/loved from the first time I still loved, but everything else was still a goddamn slog.

    I do have to say I maybe was wrong in regards to some of the bigger action scenes. Pretty sure the theater I saw it in had some terrible fucking projection as this movie popped so much more and it was much easier to keep track of the final battle at home.

    I dunno, the movie still falls apart for me the minute Amber Heard does anything (she's fucking terrible) and they never should have went on land midway through the movie. Drags everything to a halt.

    Here's hoping the sequel cuts this shit down and makes it a bit more streamlined. I still think this could have benefited from at least 40 mins cut out. Shit, they could have just added the extra 40 mins to the director's cut for those that loved the movie.

    That being said, the trench scene still fucking owns and Black Manta is stil soooooo cooooooool.
    "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

    "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

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    • Hated that fucking movie.
      Originally posted by Martin
      Who the fuck is Kellan Lutz?
      Originally posted by gravedigger
      Basically what I'm saying is that, based on what I've watched so far, we should all listen to Matt more often.
      Originally posted by Martin
      And who the FUCK is Peaches Geldof?
      Kellan Lutz's girlfriend?

      Comment


      • my poor wife was so nice during it. I thought she may have liked it.

        Once it was over, she just said "I will never need to see that again. It was sooooo bad. Can we watch that Spiderman flick again?"
        "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

        "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

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        • Lesley is correct.
          Originally posted by Martin
          Who the fuck is Kellan Lutz?
          Originally posted by gravedigger
          Basically what I'm saying is that, based on what I've watched so far, we should all listen to Matt more often.
          Originally posted by Martin
          And who the FUCK is Peaches Geldof?
          Kellan Lutz's girlfriend?

          Comment


          • Yeah, it's just that Ari was so passionate about liking it I thought I may have just been in a bad mood.

            Nope.

            I still wish Snyder was able to have fucking finished his vision. But nerds just want the same old shit. Say what you will (and plenty has been said) but I still think his JL would have been much better than what Joss did and given the time and freedom to complete his whole vision may have made a huge difference instead of WB just freaking out and fucking him over at every turn.

            And yes, I am that guy that truly enjoys the director's cut of Bats V Supes, loves Man of Steel, and finds Wonder Woman incredibly boring once the 3rd act hits. I think his second Superman flick would have been the Superman movie that the nerds would have enjoyed because it still feels like he was just trying to have Superman learn something between movies as opposed to just giving us another go of the Chris Reeves version (which I still love a whole bunch)

            I dunno, I'm just a bit sad that they tried to ape Marvel instead of just sticking with the original plan for better or worse.
            "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

            "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

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            • I'm with you on BvS, MoS, and WW.
              Originally posted by Martin
              Who the fuck is Kellan Lutz?
              Originally posted by gravedigger
              Basically what I'm saying is that, based on what I've watched so far, we should all listen to Matt more often.
              Originally posted by Martin
              And who the FUCK is Peaches Geldof?
              Kellan Lutz's girlfriend?

              Comment


              • Originally posted by Abraham Smashington View Post
                ended up checking this out again last night just to see if my opinion the first time was incorrect or biased to outside forces.

                nope.

                I mean, all of the stuff I liked/loved from the first time I still loved, but everything else was still a goddamn slog.

                I do have to say I maybe was wrong in regards to some of the bigger action scenes. Pretty sure the theater I saw it in had some terrible fucking projection as this movie popped so much more and it was much easier to keep track of the final battle at home.

                I dunno, the movie still falls apart for me the minute Amber Heard does anything (she's fucking terrible) and they never should have went on land midway through the movie. Drags everything to a halt.

                Here's hoping the sequel cuts this shit down and makes it a bit more streamlined. I still think this could have benefited from at least 40 mins cut out. Shit, they could have just added the extra 40 mins to the director's cut for those that loved the movie.

                That being said, the trench scene still fucking owns and Black Manta is stil soooooo cooooooool.

                We'll see if I enjoy it as much without the 4DX. I know the kiddo should have a blast watching it. He LOVED Spiderman.
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                • Originally posted by Matt View Post
                  I'm with you on BvS, MoS, and WW.
                  I liked MoS and I thought WW was going into an interesting direction before it devolved into another 3rd act slugfest.

                  The problem with Snyder is that he's an objectivist. So he fundamentally doesn't get the notion of super herodom. That worked in MoS because that movie was about Superman's conflicted nature on the whole business. One of the many problems with BvS is that he seems to have slid back into that. Some of it might the GRIM n GRITTY mishegoss that DC fans require their heroes to have; but a lot of it came from Synder.

                  To put it another way, I have no idea if Superman saved those people sitting on their roof in a flood. I shouldn't walk out of a Superman movie wondering if Superman saved people.
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                  • Of all the examples to pull out you think the implication during the flood scene was the one where he was going to say "fuck you?"

                    Come on now.

                    Also, Snyder's dumbass brophilosophy is the least tenable thread one could tie to his version of Clark. If anything, he's a whipping boy who never got a break.
                    Me quick one want slow

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                    • I watched Aquaman last night and really liked it. Best DC movie since Man of Steel. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by Captain Russ View Post
                        Of all the examples to pull out you think the implication during the flood scene was the one where he was going to say "fuck you?"

                        Come on now.

                        Also, Snyder's dumbass brophilosophy is the least tenable thread one could tie to his version of Clark. If anything, he's a whipping boy who never got a break.
                        My dude was just hovering there looking at people wanting help. That would never have happened in a Grant Morrison book.

                        But yeah, Synder gets superheroes.
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                        • Idris Elba is taking over Deadshot duties in Suicide Squad 2. I can totally get behind that casting. Much better than Will Smith. At least it's more believable.
                          "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

                          "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

                          Comment


                          • New characters in SS2

                            I mean, ok sure? I have faith in Gunn but some of those sound silly as fuck. But he did make Rocket Racoon awesome so bring it on. Loved what they did with King Shark on The Flash so that could be a bunch of fun with an actual budget.
                            "Looking like Nic Cage dressed in Kurt Cobain's closet. I mean that as a compliment" - BillyG

                            "Too cunty for wine bars, too dainty for real bars." - Anderson

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by gravedigger View Post
                              I watched Aquaman last night and really liked it. Best DC movie since Man of Steel. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
                              I enjoyed Aquaman as well.

                              Originally posted by BMichaelKrol View Post
                              My dude was just hovering there looking at people wanting help. That would never have happened in a Grant Morrison book.

                              But yeah, Synder gets superheroes.
                              Agreed. Heh, closer to something Ultraman would do, not Superman

                              Originally posted by Abraham Smashington View Post
                              New characters in SS2

                              I mean, ok sure? I have faith in Gunn but some of those sound silly as fuck. But he did make Rocket Racoon awesome so bring it on. Loved what they did with King Shark on The Flash so that could be a bunch of fun with an actual budget.
                              Yeah Suicide Squad has been full of minor villains DC didn't care for so not surprised. Probably gives Gunn more leeway on what he can do with them.
                              "With all the dick sucking and butt fucking jokes we make, this is the gayest thing ever posted on BDR. Even Howard cringed from behind his laptop playing Gilmore Girls." -BillyG

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                              • Originally posted by Abraham Smashington View Post
                                Once it was over, she just said "I will never need to see that again. It was sooooo bad. Can we watch that Spiderman flick again?"
                                I’m with her. I watched it this afternoon and was totally underwhelmed. I agree with most of your points in your earlier post, Rob. I didn’t give a shit about this when it came out and my opinion hasn’t changed much.

                                They tried reeeeeeally hard to make Heard look like Ocean Black Widow.
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