BLUE BALLS, BAT NIPS, and WONDER TITS -SPOILERS

[Anderson]

The script was terrible, the visuals were an onslaught of TOO MANY NOTES, the humor didn't work, the emotional connections rang false, and the acting was uniformly bad.

Marvel shill cuck.


Again, I ask the nerds...am I doing this right?

[Abraham Smashington]

IS THIS WORTH SEEING OR NOT?

[BillyG]

Rob, my buddy tried to convince me to see it by telling me an octopus plays steel drums in it. So YMMV.

[Abraham Smashington]

Does said octopus have dreadlocks? If so, TOTALLY IN.

[Ari]

IS THIS WORTH SEEING OR NOT?

YES, SO MANY YES'S

[Matt]

The octopus is in there.
The stuff in Sicily was actually pretty good. There are some solid character moments there and the rooftop chase is well done. More than anything, it was a relief on the eyes from all of the cgi overload from the water sequences.

[Abraham Smashington]

YES, SO MANY YES'S

alright man. Ticket bought for 1pm. I'll be bummed if it sucks because I could have seen Bumblebee.

[Abraham Smashington]

Aquaman thoughts. Yep. That sure was a movie.

Pros:

• the creature designs
• the score
• Black Mantra
• the rooftop fight
• the shot at the aquarium with little Aqua (lame in the trailer, worked much better in the film)
• Seeing Dolph Lundgren in a DC movie
• Randall Park
• The Trench stuff
• Dinosaur land
• the underwater effects and the cg overall
• the drum playing octopus

Cons:

• pretty much everything else

I was mostly bored throughout this movie. I still think Momoa was the completely wrong choice for this and him and Heard have ZERO chemistry (she's terrible as well). The de-aging effects stuck out super bad in this as opposed to some of the Marvel flicks and I'm not sure why. Patrick Wilson was lame as balls. Dafoe was wasted. The kids they picked for young Aqua in the flashbacks were terrible. The fake looking sunsets that are constantly used and that make everything look like they are on a bluescreen were annoying. The stuff with the different sea creatures were the best parts of the movie but we spend way too much time with boring ass Patrick Wilson and terrible actors Momoa and Heard. The score was decent but the music was terrible.

Everything with Black Manta was fucking aces. I know nothing about the character from the comics (and only really know him from the Injustice video game series) and I would love to see more of that dude. The rooftop scene in Sicily was probably the highlight BUT I already saw most of that in that one trailer they released so that was a shame.

The overall look of Atlantis and shit was neat as were all of the underwater effects but I disliked the audio when we were underwater. It was probably just my theater but it made everything muddled (which I'm sure was the point) but I would legit be straining to understand what Lundgren was saying in half of his scenes.

The final battle would have been much neater if he would have just SLOWED SHIT DOWN a bit. I know you fuckers hate Snyder's zoom ramping shit but this could have used a bit of that. There was an entire war happening with CRAB PEOPLE VS FISH MEN and it was mostly giving me a fucking headache. Oh god I'm old.

ALSO THIS WAS WAY TOO LONG.

I don't necessarily need nor want to see another solo Aquaman movie but would not mind a Black Manta flick or even have Aquaman hang out with some other people not named Wonder Woman.

I dunno why this didn't do much for me. Especially after seeing Venom in the theater and wanting to re-watch it immediately I had assumed this was going to be slam dunk but alas it wasn't on my first viewing.

Shit, out of the current DC flicks I'd probably rank them thusly:

• Man of Steel
• Bats V Supes EXTENDED ONLY
• Green Lantern (shut up, it belongs here, I don't care)
• Justice League
• Aquaman
• Suicide Squad
• Wonder Woman

I know my list will make no sense to most of you but it's based on how entertained I was/am while watching it. And unfortunately for Aquaman it just had too much shit dragging it down in my opinion.

Marvel rules and Dc drools (amidointhisright?) but for reals this movie just didn't do it for me. I am bummed because I really wanted to like this.

But here's hoping that Shazam! is as fun as it looks as I'm super pumped for that.

[Anderson]

The Randall Park stuff is the kinda New 52 DC shit I was hoping didn't make its way into the feature films.


Basically, his character's whole purpose is to expose Atlantis to the outside world. Once that happens, he's got nothing...but DC keeps shoehorning him into Aqua everything.

[Abraham Smashington]

I know nothing about DC comics anymore. I gave up in the 90s so I had no idea he's from the comics or his purpose. This film just needed more characters like him.

[Anderson]

I know nothing about DC comics anymore. I gave up in the 90s so I had no idea he's from the comics or his purpose. This film just needed more characters like him.

They don't actually.



Aquaman has 1 major problem and that was the inability to cut anything the fuck out.

[Abraham Smashington]

It needed fun. It was all so serious

[Abraham Smashington]

They don't actually.



Aquaman has 1 major problem and that was the inability to cut anything the fuck out.

Start with the action scenes.

[Timothy225]

Shit, out of the current DC flicks I'd probably rank them thusly:

• Man of Steel
• Bats V Supes EXTENDED ONLY
• Green Lantern (shut up, it belongs here, I don't care)
• Justice League
• Aquaman
• Suicide Squad
• Wonder Woman

I know my list will make no sense to most of you but it's based on how entertained I was/am while watching it. And unfortunately for Aquaman it just had too much shit dragging it down in my opinion.

God, can I love you more? Pretty solid list, and I'm all about the Man of Steel love, but I still can't stand BvS and would happily place it under GL.

[Anderson]

Start with the action scenes.

You didn't like underwater orc battle over half-brother who's upset about pollution?