BLUE BALLS, BAT NIPS, and WONDER TITS -SPOILERS

[Fil]

That's great.

El Murciélago on the left side!

[Timothy225]

I kind of want to see Disco Batman and Clown Batman now.

[Abraham Smashington]

and prom date Batman which you can make out just above

[Timothy225]

Prom Date Batman would probably play it cool and talk a good game, but blow it with his date. She'd want him to take her to Inspiration Point and make out in the Batmobile or Batcave or whatever. He'd be more interested in solving one of Riddler's twisted riddles, or try and get Joker back into Arkham again, etc. and use his date to explain why criminals are a cowardly and superstitious lot, how he's vengeance and the night, and so on.

He's SUCH a downer, man.

[gravedigger]

Oh hell yes, mariachi batman.

[Abraham Smashington]

Fucking loved it. Lex was great. Matt is nuts.

[Abraham Smashington]

Ben was awesome as Bruce but AWESOME as Bats. Irons was GREAT as Alfred. The stuff with the dream sequence was rad as fuck. I didn't even have an issue with the pacing. I can see why people did, but it didn't bother me for the most part.

Doomsday was no better or worse than any other giant monster in these movies but the fight scene was pretty sweet I thought. Wonder Woman was pretty badass and the

  Spoiler: spoilers 

stuff you see of the other JL members worked for me. Especially the stuff with Cyborg. Aquaman is gonna be hit or miss for me because I don't really like Momoa but he seems like someone that could fuck shit up in these movies. But Ezra Miller still feels so wrong as The Flash. SO WRONG. Also we were DYING at Bats's "WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!" line when he had his foot on Supes's neck. That was some funny fucking shit. "BUT MY MOM'S NAME IS MARTHA TOO?!" "ARE WE FRIENDS NOW?!" "YEP!" It was like the scene from Step Brothers. hilariously bad.

Overall I didn't enjoy it more than MOS but it was better than I thought it was going to be after seeing the savage reviews online. I dug it quite a bit overall.



LEX4PREZ

[Abraham Smashington]

Also, we got a new trailer for Lego Batman that fucking KILLED. Cannot wait for that. The shot of the bat nipples as Alfred went through the past Batmen was fucking great.

[Abraham Smashington]

also, WHAT?!:

  Spoiler: SPOILERS 

So, in case you cannot tell because he's almost unrecognizable, the lightning tornado dream sequence echo voice thing is the DC Extended Universe version of The Flash (and that's Ezra Miller in the role). The Flash appearing in mysterious form, kind of like a dream, and possibly from a different point in time, is very much a reference to Crisis on Infinite Earths where Flash was appearing to various heroes trying to warn them of what was to come while he was busy dying later in the story fighting the very same threat. - Den of Geek

I thought it was Robin or someone else. HAD NO IDEA IT WAS THE FLASH.

neat.

[Fil]

Seeing it tomorrow. I'll read your spoilers then.

[B_Metal]

Wife saw it with the kids. All enjoyed it, wife was concerned with Wonder Womans skirt length. #Women

[Abraham Smashington]

Hahaha hahaha.

[Fil]

Is there a post credits sequence in Orphan Fight?

[Abraham Smashington]

Nope

[BillyG]

The five main performances were great. Batfleck is without a doubt my favorite Batman now. I loved that in the human trafficking apartment it was shot like a horror movie, and Batman actually felt like the terror in the night...and when in the cave he actually felt like the world's greatest detective. Gal did good with Wonder Woman as well, and her theme was the best best of the whole movie. Superman is Superman. He got fucked by Snyder shoving Randian bullshit into his character. Lex was fucking crazy and legit. And I need Batman as an insane apocolyptic leader with his amazing duster and just mercing motherfuckers.

Bad. Spoilers from here on.

-WORST FUCKING SCRIPT IN THE GODDAMN WORLD.

Let's explore in more detail. The first hour was cool. Tiny bit of Batman. Some Superman montages. Bruce being cool detective. The set-up was going fine. Then just motivations that meant NOTHING in the end. Oh our mom's have the same name? We cool. We cool. It doesn't matter that I thought you may WIPE OUT THE FUCKING HUMAN RACE because my mommy issues are so severe. And Lois with the fucking Lex bullet in the desert? Why does that even matter? IT GOES NOWHERE. Is it just so we think Lex is more evil? HE GETS A DUDE TO FUCKING SUICIDE BOMB CONGRESSIONAL HEARINGS AND HOLDS MA KENT HOSTAGE WITH A FLAME THROWER. Oh and we saw a shot of someone making a coffee can bomb before the dude paints on the Superman statue. But we didn't see who. I thought maybe Bruce, but then it cuts to Wheels and then that coffee can bomb never gets used? Wtf? OH. And if half the world HATES Superman how the fuck did a statue that big get made in the middle of the destruction?! OH OH and when the fucking space ship that caused thousands to die in the city starts fucking SHOOTING OUT ELETRICITY everyone stands around like derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Kendrick says errrything gon' be alright so let's just fucking stand here. RUN YOU FUCKING IDIOTS. But no Lois, we broke as fuck but that takes chopper because you said "it's not a story." Huh? HUH!? And the airline stewardess knew Wonder Woman's name? NO. She wasn't even in first class. She wouldn't even fucking see her face, just another asshole that is going to want wine the entire flight to Europe.

AND THE FUCKING ROTOSCOPE SHITTY FUCKING DOOMSDAY RED FLASHY SHIT HOLY FUCKING HELL DID RALPH BAKSHI MAKE THIS.

Why the fuck does David Goyer still get to write scripts? He's awful. Snyder is awful as far as story goes, direction actually wasn't bad. Batman scurrying across the roof, action scenes, etc all looked great. BUT FUCK. What a misfire. I hope Ayer gets given the keys to the DC universe after this.

OH AND HOW THE FUCK DID LEX KNOW DARKSEID IS COMING. Probably from the ship database but hey this script makes no sense let's not try to explain something now!