BLUE BALLS, BAT NIPS, and WONDER TITS -SPOILERS

[FilmNerdJamie]

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YESSSSSS

[Abraham Smashington]

seriously. Cannot fucking wait for that movie.

[Matt]

That looks pretty damned great.

[Timothy225]

Looking forward to that flick far more than BvS, and I'm kind of sick of Batman at this point.

[gravedigger]

RANK THE '00s BATMEN

1. BATFLECK (I assume. Dude's awesome)
2. ARNETT
3. CONROY (this is probably a cheat because of all his years on TAS)
4. The old Michael Keaton bank I found that was a freebie with Batman cereal in 1989.)
5. BALE

[Abraham Smashington]

RANK THE '00s BATMEN

1. BATFLECK (I assume. Dude's awesome)
2. ARNETT
3. CONROY (this is probably a cheat because of all his years on TAS)
4. The old Michael Keaton bank I found that was a freebie with Batman cereal in 1989.)
5. BALE

Agree.

[FilmNerdJamie]

I love all my Batmen (and I don't doubt Affleck will deliver), but if I had to choose only one... Hmm... Bale. His was the first Bruce/Bats I cared about as a person and we went along the journey with him.

Every other Bats was pre-established at the start, which is fine but it was nice to have a change of pace.

[Ari]

RANK THE '00s BATMEN

1. BATFLECK (I assume. Dude's awesome)
2. ARNETT
3. CONROY (this is probably a cheat because of all his years on TAS)
4. The old Michael Keaton bank I found that was a freebie with Batman cereal in 1989.)
5. BALE

I still have that bank too. I'd put it as number one, but I also have a Michael Keaton action figure, so that pretty much trumps all.

[Abraham Smashington]

[FilmNerdJamie]

[gravedigger]

Way into it. I wish that was being released this week instead.

[Matt]

I want a huge, hi rez version of that pic for my wallpaper so that I can gaze at it all day at work.

[Fil]

Way into it. I wish that was being released this week instead.

Same. I want to see this movie instead.

[Matt]

OK, I'm back. I didn't like it but I didn't hate it...there are a few good nuggets in there that entertained me, so I won't write it off completely.

First off, a warning: be caffeinated before you go into the film because the first hour or so is a complete slog.

  Spoiler: spoilers 

You get a bunch of disjointed scenes cobbled together without much rhyme or reason that try and establish a plot. There's no flow at all, just scenes that seem to last long enough to convey a plot point and then just end. There are moments here and there that are good (Batman's big nightmare dream sequence actually has a pretty good fight in it), but they are few and far between.

The second hour gets a tad more cohesive, thank God. This is also when the action really starts, and what's in there skews wildly from incoherent to really effective; the actual fight between Batman and Superman is actually pretty good except for two things:
- It's reliant on Batman placing a weapon exactly the right location for later use. Considering how the battle goes, I find it stupid that the culmination of the battle would occur within sight of this weapon. Whatever.
- The battle is resolved by the idiocy of Batman and Superman's mothers having the same name. Give me a fucking break. A switch goes off in Batman's heart and he decides to give the present back to all of the Whos in Whoville. It's a groaner.

Then, we have the main battle: an overly CGId slugfest between Doomsday, Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman. It's pretty shitty, in all honesty. Doomsday never feels like an actual entity...he looks fake and he moves like he doesn't have any real weight. He's poorly realized and you honestly don't care. The only bright spot of the final battle is Wonder Woman...she absolutely gets all of the cool hero moments of the final battle. The biggest response from my audience was when she cracked a 'I love this battle!' smile after skidding across the ground after a punch.

When all is said and done, you've got a drawn out funeral sequence ala 'Death of Superman' that doesn't feel earned at all. Batman and Wonder Woman do the requisite 'Avengers Initiative' thing and the movie ends.

What's good:
- Wonder Woman. Again, she's the only highlight of the final battle.
- Henry Cavill. I thought he was very good in this with what he had to work with.
- Alfred. More Jeremy Irons, please.

What's OK:
- Gal Gadot. Not the best actress. She's great in the physical stuff but merely passable in dialog scenes.
- Ben Affleck. Not getting the love here. He's generally good but he also does some pretty shit acting in spots.
- Batman. Again, not getting the love. He's good, but I prefer Keaton or Bale over him.

What's bad:
- Superman. Cavill does fine work but Superman himself is a blah. Really nothing there. You can tell that all of the meat of his story and character hit the cutting room floor.
- Lex Luthor. Terribly realized villain
- Jesse Eisenberg. I officially hate him after this movie. I wanted to punch him the entire film.
- The plot. It needed a lot more thought.
- The pacing. It's a snoozefest for the most part.
- The special effects. They're decent up until the final act when Doomsday gets involved. After that, they flat out suck.

The weird thing is that my audience liked it. Many clapped at the end, and I heard several people claim it was awesome during the post-film walkout. This will be polarizing for sure.

[Abraham Smashington]